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How COVID-19 Sparks My Gratitude

It is easy to become bitter, fearful, complain, stress, and simply be frustrated during this unfolding corona drama in history. I began a list of things that make me grateful for this experience. I know there are hundreds more bullets that could be added to this ongoing list, so please post your thoughts below!

  1. Our children seem to be spared from this virus. Very few children under eighteen even contract the virus, and if they do, the get a mild case and recover quickly!
  2. We live in a scientific age! One hundred years ago, such a virus would have seemed hopeless. But with every day scientists across the world are closer to confirming vaccinations and medication to treat the virus.
  3. COVID-19 has begun in medically advanced countries and not a third world nation where the death toll would be far more expansive due to lack of intervention and science. And it could have gone undetected for much longer than it did too!
  4. The reconnecting of family is happening. In countries where families are divided, both parents work, where life never stops, where people are loosing touch with reality…something too microscopic for the human eye to see has put a stop to everything. Families are resting, staying home, eating together at home, and getting a much needed diversion from their absorbing schedules. This time at home is good for our generation.
  5. Seeing such an emphasis on uncertainty is where our minds should always rest, allowing us as Christians to depend fully on God for our future. When He is in control and we are not…that is the very best place to be.
  6. Lessons in frugality are already working out in our home as I have restricted our milk supply to the toddler. The other children can stick to water for a season. It is good for us to learn how to be less wasteful with food and possessions.
  7. Neighbors are connecting! If you live in a neighborhood like us, you may have already noticed that people being home and in a crisis together has caused a bit more conversations between those next door and us. Walls are coming down because we are all in this mess together.
  8. What an opportunity for us Christians to shine! We can share fearless, God dependent living with those around us who are terrified. I have already had a couple opportunities. One was at my daughter’s ballet lesson last week, when one of the other mother’s struck up a conversation about how scared she was. I was able to share with her how I knew how she felt, and I had a few moments of fear initially, but I was able to walk through my fears by resting in God’s sovereignty and reading facts…and forbidding my ears to absorb the fear based media. Fear breeds fear. And it is best to simply block our ears to fear by seeing our hearts on biblical truths! It is also a good time to meet the needs of those around us. Who knows, maybe there is someone in our neighborhood who did not stock up on toilet paper. Yes, that was supposed to be funny…
  9. Spring is here! What better time for a virus to pop out than in the grey cold of winter? Many people will be able to plant and grow food if needs be. Also, the magic of sunshine will do much to prevent cabin fever from causing depression. We can go for walks, garden, or simply picnic in our own yards!
  10. A renewed hunger for fellowship is coming! Yes, after a season of being unable to meet together as Christians, I grantee attending church will be a lot more meaningful in the future. And those who are challenged through this experience will be seeking truth.
  11. Our idolatry to comfort is being threatened. What are people so afraid of during this crisis? Is it death? Is it hunger? Is it poverty? I perceive the loss of comfort is more important to most people than life itself! Watching the hoarding that is taking place, I have observed that people don’t want to be without special foods, toilet paper, or easy meals! Honestly, four turkeys, some carrots, celery, and rice would easily provide a family of six lunch and dinner for an entire month…tack on a few pounds of oats and perhaps cinnamon, and there is breakfast. But that is not the way of our comfort driven society. For us Christians, it is a true test of our affection for comfort. This is so good for us!
  12. God is sovereign and always will sovereign in every chaotic event. Perhaps He is using this time to provoke obstinate hearts to think about Him? Death has a way of causing people to consider their life and its purpose. God is always in control, not us.

So let me ask you? What would you add to this list? What gratitude has entered your mind during this season of uncertainty?

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“I am Not Afraid. I was Made For This” Joan of Arc

I was teaching my children a Bible lesson about Nehemiah last week and found my own heart convicted as I re-told the story to my children.

Nehemiah 2:11b “…And I told no one what my God had put into my heart to do for Jerusalem…” God took hold of Nehemiah’s heart and Nehemiah committed to do what God had moved him to do, which was re-build the walls of Jerusalem. Nehemiah lived in Babylon and had to ask permission from Xerxes, the king of Babylon to go build the walls. God worked in Xerxes heart, and he agreed to let Nehemiah go and build.

God enabled and prepared Nehemiah to do exactly what Nehemiah was meant to do. God surrounded Nehemiah with people to help him in doing the work ahead of him. Even the heart of the king of Babylon was prepared to help Nehemiah do God’s will.  Like the famous quote from Joan of Ark: “I do not fear the soldiers, for my road is made open to me; and if the soldiers come, I have God, my Lord, who will know how to clear the route that leads to messier the Dauphin. It was for this that I was born!” more simply stated: “I am not afraid; I was made for this.”

We are each a Nehemiah. God has given each of us walls to build, and we are each made and placed here on earth for a divine purpose. Whatever lies ahead, is what God has created us to walk through. He has equipped us with all that we need to do what He has given each of us to do. He will even turn hearts toward or against us as He is fit to bring about His purpose.

There is much comfort in God’s sovereignty….knowing that nothing is by chance…even my life. For me, although there is much I do not know about my purpose in this time and place, I do know what God has laid on my heart to do.

Jews recently celebrated Purim at the end of February. It is a holiday that is completely about God’s sovereignty over the hearts of people and events during the reign of King Xerxes. The book of Esther describes the events in detail. I love the wisdom given to Esther by her cousin Mordecai, when Esther struggled with going to see King Xerxes on behalf of the Jews. Mordecai gently reminded Esther of God’s sovereignty in Esther 4:14 “And who knows whether you have not come to the kingdom for such a time as this?” Oh to rest in that thought!

God has placed me here in this time, in this place, in this family, with this husband, children, and church…for such a time as this. God has given me the task of living out the gospel in my home, church, neighborhood…basically, in whatever circumstances He has placed me. That, leaning into grace, must be played out in my soul daily. Since, God has also placed me in a specific place in time, spot on the map, marriage to a certain man, mother of four souls, church, and neighborhood. This is the place and time and people I am called to live out the gospel.

And then, there is the state of my own soul. I am called to be a disciple of Christ…to follow Him.. .to rest in His sovereign grace for the continued sanctification of my heart. With that as the foundation for my actions, anything that distracts me from that calling is sin (Nehemiah 6:13).

Like Nehemiah, as I set about to do what God has called me to do, adversaries of God will appose me. The adversaries of God, play on my emotional, human weaknesses to gain foothold in my lives, with the ultimate goal of distracting, stalling, and preventing me from doing the work that has been “put into my heart to do.”

Ammonites, Sanballat and Tobiah felt threatened by the work Nehemiah had been sent by God and his king to do. They and did their best to prevent Nehemiah from building those walls. At first, Sanballat and Tobiah used harsh, unhappy complaints and untrue accusations. When the complaints and lies failed, Sanballat and Tobiah attempted to use fear to deceive Nehemiah into hiding.

I have since pondered the debilitating affect of distractions. There are ever so many! What distractions do I embrace? Is it fear? Do I run and hide, or arm myself as I I continue the work God has set for me to do? What is the enemy using in my life to bring fear, to prevent me from building the walls of my home? From pursuing faithfully in the task the Lord has given me to do? From listening to the calling God has laid on my heart? Lies….always lies…

I Peter 5:8 warns us of the dangers of lack of discernment and distractions. “Have sound judgment. Be alert. Your adversary, the Devil, prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour” EHV. Let me indulge this Biblical illustration from nature a bit. A Lion is a very skilled hunter. The lion is a large, loud creature, except when he is prowling. Anyone who has watched a nature documentary has seen a lion go into a stealth, hunting mode. He watches, and waits patiently…eyes slowly studying his prey. The lion seeks out the easiest targets, the young…weak…old…those separated from the herd, the unprotected, distracted, and those who are too engrossed in an activity to be alert….those who lack the wisdom to discern danger.

For a time, part of my calling is to protect four young, and weak little lambs. For me, as the mother, not to be on watchful guard against adversaries, puts my young at great risk. I am also to be alert for my own safety. Staying close to the herd, means being close to other Christians. The Shepherd watches over the herd carefully, and being near Him is also of upmost importance.

Back to Nehemiah… his discernment of the attempted deceit of the enemy is admirable. I believe he was able to make a wise decision because of his confidence in God and what God had called him to do. Instead of running to hide, Nehemiah armed himself and his men and continued to build the walls, ready to fight at a moment’s notice.

“Do not be afraid of them. Remember the Lord, who is great and awesome, and fight for your brothers, your sons, your daughters, your wives, and your homes.” Nehemiah 4:18a , Nehemiah 4:21 “So we labored at the work, and half of them held the spears from the break of dawn until the stars came out. I also said to the people at that time, ‘Let every man and his servant pass the night within Jerusalem, that they may be a guard for us by night and may labor by day.’ So neither I nor my brothers nor my servants nor the men of the guard who followed me, none of us took off our clothes; each kept his weapon at his right hand. And each of the builders had his sword strapped at his side while he built.” 

But even though he was armed, Nehemiah’s enemies were bent on preventing his work from continuing. They made up lies and attempted to drive fear into his heart. Sanballat hoped fear would weaken Nehemiah’s judgement and he would run to hide!

Nehemiah 6:9 “For they all wanted to frighten us, thinking, ‘Their hands will drop from the work, and it will not be done.’ But now, O God, strengthen my hands.” Recognizing lies that are meant to distracts us from the task. Nehemiah 6:10-14 “Now when I went into the house of Shemaiah the son of Delaiah, son of Mehetabel, who was confined to his home, he said, ‘Let us meet together in the house of God, within the temple. Let us close the doors of the temple, for they are coming to kill you. They are coming to kill you by night.’ But I said, ‘Should such a man as I run away? And what man such as I could go into the temple and live? I will not go in.’ And I understood and saw that God had not sent him, but he had pronounced the prophecy against me because Tobiah and Sanballat had hired him. For this purpose he was hired, that I should be afraid and act in this way and sin, and so they could give me a bad name in order to taunt me. Remember Tobiah and Sanballat, O my God, according to these things that they did, and also the prophetess Noadiah and the rest of the prophets who wanted to make me afraid.” Nehemiah 6:19 “Also they spoke of his good deeds in my presence and reported my words to him. And Tobiah sent letters to make me afraid.

So like many other followers of Christ, I find myself constantly distracted from the work God has set before me to do. Sometimes those distractions take place completely in my head as I allow my mind to dwell on thoughts that are untrue or out of my control. Other times, it is a text message, a piece of news…I have found even good things can be completely wrong if that is not what God has tasked me to do! Like Nehemiah, I pray for discernment and wisdom as I am constantly bombarded by the enemy with distractions, fears, and lies that would consume my soul and make me unable to fulfill what God desires I do! I also need to be fully committed, and confident of God’s calling in my life. I will be easily swayed if I am unsure about what God has for me to do. It is possible to be confident in each of our callings. We might not be an apostle like Paul. But we can certainly have the same confidence as we rest in God’s sovereign alignment of circumstances, people, and locations where we are.

 

 

 

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Tilapia Salad

This recipe is simple and makes a great, low fat, high protein lunch for one person.

1 Tilapia-poached in water (I boil mine right from the freezer for 4-5 minutes, then drain the water-the fish should simply flake into melted goodness)
2 chopped green onions
2 chopped celery stalks
1/2 c. Nonfat Greek yogurt
3 triangles laughing cow cheese
2 t. Garlic powder
1 T dill
1 t salt
Sliced tomato

1 Slice sprouted whole grain bread or two Wasa crackers

Mix the onions, celery, yogurt, cheese, garlic, dill, and salt into a salad mixture. Add drained, warm tilapia and mix.

Spread on bread or crackers and top with a thin slice of tomato.

I enjoyed this for lunch today with a side of fresh papya and spinach topped with balsamic vinigar. Healthy, easy, and delicious.

If you are unfamiliar with tilapia, it is a mild flavored white fish. It is low in fat, compared to salmon which is a fattier fish. I buy mine frozen and keep it in the freezer, simply because frozen fish is more affordable for my family. The flavor is so mild, it would probably suit the pallet of more fussy fish eaters. Yet the fish is rich in healthy omegas our bodies all need.

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Sunday Evening Snacktime

We started a tradition when my children were little. Actually, it was a tradition in my home when I grew up. I just kept it for my family. Instead of having a regular dinner Sunday evening, we snack.

I simply pull out whatever I have and lay out a spread for the evening. Very often, that spread includes a bowl of popcorn. Always fresh cut veggies and fruit are in the table. And some protiens like cubed cheese, ham, boiled eggs, or peanut butter on sprouted wheat bread.

My children are allowed one sweet after they have eaten an ample amount of veggies and protien. The sweet may be cookies, an ice-cream cone, or a leftover dessert we have on hand.

I love the Sunday evening spread because it takes the brainwork out of the evening meal. I find it nice to always know we are simply having snacks and no forethought is needed.

I also find it nice to have the veggies prepped for the week. I chop up a lot of veggies Sunday night. What isn’t eaten, I can use the upcomibg week for omelets, lunches, salads, casseroles, and snacking. It is nice to have washed and cut veggies ready for use.

Sunday evening is also a good time to eat up leftovers. I can cut up leftover pizza, peanut butter play-doh, deli meats, hot-dogs, and warm up rolls, or muffins.

My children like to graze Sunday evenings. They look forward to an evening of stress free eating. Other than eating protien and veggies, there are no limits to what they can have and they will not be made to eat something they don’t like. They also can eat all evening long which is simply fun.

Sometimes we get together with other couples to play games Sunday evening. It is easy for me to prep and a fun way to share an evening with friends too.

If we do invite guests, I will probably plan a little more as to what snacks we have for the evening and include more protien like chicken wings or chicken salad on croissants.

And that is it, my non-complicated, relaxing tradition for Sunday evening.

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Another Story About God

After hearing a preacher speak at an evangelistic meeting at our small Baptist church in the country, I asked my mother to pray with me to ask Jesus to forgive my sins. I was seven. I do not remember a thing about that moment, other than the story has been told to me by my mother long enough to create its own memory. At seven, I didn’t know the extent of my sins, only that I did bad things. At seven, I didn’t understand the extent of what Christ did in my place on the cross or even what “the gospel” truly meant. I only understood Jesus loved me and died on the cross for me because I was a sinner, and I also knew I did not want to go to hell when I died. Like many children raised in Christian homes, the thought of hell terrified me; along with the guilt I felt due to my sins. My thoughts of hell and my feelings of guilt brought many whispered prayers in the night…often asking Jesus that, “if I wasn’t already saved and forgiven, that He would forgive me now.”

The small Baptist church we attended was a classic in its time, every sermon ended with an alter call, the choir was the place to display one’s musical gifts, and people dressed up for church like it was a social event. Sadly that is all church was to most people. Many of my Sunday School teachers did not know much doctrine beyond what was presented in the Regular Baptist Press Sunday School curriculum. I remember once asking my Sunday School teacher why God created me. She seemed a little surprised by my question, and answered that “Maybe God was lonely and wanted friends.” I thought that sounded good, and didn’t visit that question again for a long time. And so melding humanism and Scripture began in my thinking even as a child.

In my teens, I began to focus on good works in an effort to draw closer to God. I read my Bible daily, spent time in prayer, and for a time, wore clothing that resembled the Mennonite and Amish people we lived near in Pennsylvania at the time…yes, I even wore a head covering! I felt God was truly pleased with my conservative ways.

Still, I was oblivious to the fact that I was seeking spiritual peace through my works instead of resting only in Christ for my salvation and sanctification. I prided myself in my plainness, modesty, simplicity, piety, and anything else I invented that made me feel closer to God.

Mother’s, though imperfect, can have insight into the hearts of their children that no one else has. My mother saw the contradictions in my life and heart and gently pulled me aside one day and, as Yankees do well, she bluntly spoke truth into my floundering mind. She pointed out my faults…the faults like my unkind speech, controlling nature, and lack of basic tenderness toward others due to my overblown self-image. After getting a glimpse of my true self, I remember feeling very much like a failure. The headscarf came off immediately, and I began thinking through the motivations for every behavior.

In my college years, my faith deepened as the Lord began to provide spiritual mentors in my life. Due to the friendships of some extraordinary older women, I began to see a glimpse of what it meant to live out the gospel (although that term was never used.) Grace began to become something I not only partook of, but was learning to live out what had been poured so generously on my life.

One day, while I was preparing to move on from my current place of work, my mother asked me how she could pray for me that coming week. I told her to “Please pray my husband would ask me out this week.” It was a very specific yet heartfelt prayer. Because my hunger was to marry and mother children, but I was getting older and those days were numbered. And I did not want to waste my youth in a waiting mindset. That very week a young man did ask me out! In six months, I was married to that man.

Jim had a different perspective on Scripture than me, in that He was reformed in his theology. Reformed theology was a unimportant in my opinion, so I certainly didn’t let that prevent me from marrying him. And thankfully he married me despite my lethargy about that portion of doctrine.

A year after our marriage, Jim and I were led by God to help a close pastor friend plant a church in the Midwest. The Lord provided Jim with a job that came with a free apartment if he would work maintenance for the landlord. So, Jim quit the job where he was thriving, and started in a new field of work. We felt we were making a big sacrifice to leave good jobs and family, but the Lord had in mind to bring about in our lives a blessing we had no idea existed…a church family.

Up to that point in our lives, church was truly and event and tradition, even though we believed it was biblical to attend, we missed seeing it as an essential part of our faith. In fact, both Jim and I found church very frustrating and our Christian brothers and sisters to be full of contradictions. In Nebraska, there are few traditional believers or pretend Christians. For instance, when I got hired on for my new job after our move, knowing that I was a woman of faith, the owner made it clear that she was not a religious person and would say words that might offend me. Which she did. It was actually refreshing to be around non-believers with no religious pretenses.

Our dear church grew very quickly. Being so far from our family those first years of marriage was also extremely healthy for our relationship with each other. We grew closer to God and to each other out of necessity.

But it was the family of the church that provided the greatest avenue for Spiritual growth. We were surrounded by people, who truly cared for the state of our souls. We had people praying with us and for us as we walked with God. As other Christian’s poured their wisdom into my life, my heart began to grasp biblical truths it had never before seen, and an excitement about the truths of God’s Word and the Gospel began to sprout in my heart.

One day, an older lady I met with regularly for studying Scripture and prayer, brought my attention to a sermon by an old-time preacher named, Paris Reidhead called “Ten Sheckles and a Shirt.” I listened to that sermon over and over with tears. Something clicked in my heart for the first time, as I realized my idolatry. In that Sermon, Reidhead brought up the humanistic thinking that had infiltrated the American church and I saw it abundantly in my own faith.

Questions that Reidhead brought into my head taunted my mind. Did I follow Christ only because He has promised me salvation and heaven? I concluded that God is worthy of my lifelong worship and praise even if my destiny was to be hell for my sins. The idea that God did not need me also became a reality. Even the concept, that a person is helpless to receive redemption without the drawing of the Holy Spirit (John 6:44), and that even the faith to believe is a gift of God (Eph. 2:8-9) permeated every thought. And to know that Christ did not redeem mankind to fix an unexpected mishap, but that redemption was God’s amazing plan before He created the world! (Eph. 1:4, Ro. 8:29…). God’s sovereignty began to make its appearance to me through Scripture.

I focused my thinking on the sovereignty of God, and spent hours in awe and as my heart began to understand a bit about God’s sovereign grace, and the concept that God choose me. I devoured doctrine and Scripture as though seeing it for the first time. Scripture suddenly made sense as it was placed in the perspective of devotion to God’s glory. I realized Christ did not come to redeem me for me, but for Himself. I had, without meaning too, crossed over to what many Christians call reformed thinking. Scripture passages fell into place under the perspective of God’s sovereignty. My life and all its circumstances took on a meaning beyond myself. To me, it was a turning from the humanistic perspective I had about God, Scripture, and my place in it all, and a simple resting in the God who created and ordained all things for His glory.

As my understanding grew, so did an ache in my heart for my friends and family, neighbors, my children, who must also come to realize that EVERYTHING is about God, not about us! My heart resonates with Paul “Oh, the depth of the riches and wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are his judgments and how inscrutable his ways!” Rom. 11:33. Even now, I understand but a glimpse of those depths and my heart is amazed. My theology up to that point had been so man-centered…humanistic, but the truths that John Calvin, Jonathan Edwards, and modern-day John Piper brought to my understanding from Scripture, sunk deep into my heart. My perspective turned from its humanistic marriage with Scripture to seeing Scripture through its goal to bring God glory. I still feel I have been playing doctrinal catch-up as I study Scripture up to this day.

After seven years, leaving our church family in the Midwest was truly the deepest grief we have ever felt. But the Lord had made it clear we were meant to move, and so we followed His lead with hope of finding a similar fellowship in our new territory. We thought finding a good church would be easy, but it proved otherwise.

After a year, of seeking churches, we had found nothing. We needed to find something… so we settled at a conservative, Presbyterian church and joined. After engaging in small groups for a very short time, our hearts were greatly saddened to see the lack of value placed on Scripture. In fact, no one even opened a Bible during small groups. We were floundering spiritually, and finding our hearts living in discouragement. We knew we needed the fellowship of Christians along with sound Biblical preaching. So, continuing to fellowship with the small Presbyterian church, we also started attending Sunday evening services at a mega church in order to deepen our relationship with God. We debated joining the large church, but children were not welcome in small groups there, and we really wanted our children to be a part of the church, not just a Sunday School class. After a year of attending two churches, we began praying and seeking for a church again, but with little optimism.

A month into our new church search, Jim received a call from a head-hunter for a job interview. In a short time, the Lord once again asked us to move… this time, we were determined to find a church, so we could be close to the believers we fellowshipped.

We committed the matter of a church to prayer. Once evening, Jim was browsing on his phone one evening and came a across a post from an old college acquaintance. It was a post of a worship service. “Listen to this.” He showed me. After we listened, Jim said, “I wonder where his church is…” After looking it up and seeing the church was minutes from our new location, we planned a visit. We knew after our first visit we had finally found a church home. We still marvel at God’s work.

After a summer long transition, we are two months settled into our home and absolutely cherishing our new church family and looking forward to seeing what the Lord will do in our hearts and lives as we seek Him and continue to grow.

I am in awe of what God does and how He truly encompasses our ways in life to not only physically place us in a position to draw closer to Him, but how He orchestrates every event to even give us a hunger for Himself. It is all about Him…truly everything is all about Him!

Like Mary, in Luke 1:48-50: “My soul magnifies the Lord, and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior, for he has looked on the humble estate of his servant. For behold, from now on all generations will call me blessed; for he who is mighty has done great things for me, and holy is his name. And his mercy is for those who fear him from generation to generation.” Not because of anything I have done, but I rejoice in Him because of what He has done for His glory.

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Home-Schooled and Home-Schooling

Yup, that’s me. I was in the first generation of American Home-Schoolers who branched out bravely in the late 70’s. They helped form laws and prevent laws that would prevent parents rights to educate their children at home.

My parents helped found our state’s home-school group and my brother and I graduated in a class of 7 from that group. We knew nearly everyone in our city who home-schooled.

If my mom had to take us out during regular school hours, we were always asked if school was out. When we explained that we home-schooled, people did not know how to respond. I even remember my mother being told by a grocery clerk that she didn’t know that was legal.

Nearly everyone who home-schooled in the eighties home-schooled for religious reasons. Home-schooling was usually accompanied by a set of faith based standards. My parents held such a conviction to home-school that they were prepared to move out of the state or even out of the country to keep our education at home. They believed everyone who was a Christian should home-educate their children. They believed home-education biblical choice.

Home-education rose in popularity, and by the time I graduated, there were many joining our home-school group who were secular.

Poor academic standards in public schools, rising costs of private school, school shootings, bullying, and more special needs awareness…multitudes of reasons to home-school brought on the rise of disatified parents home-schooling.

Home-education also became widly accepted and Moms and Dads no longer feared legal difficulties.

Now, home-schooling is everywhere. My un-churched neighbor is a second grade school teacher in the public school at the end of our street. She is going tp home-school her daughter next year. Her daughter has an unusual walking and running gate due to childhood arthritis and her Mama is afraid of kids being mean to her in school. She expects to put her back in for high school.

I have another friend who is raising a daughter to be a profesional ballerina. Home-schooling allews her the flexability to dedicate to practice and performances.

The standards of public education continues its downward spiral and that, combined with poor parenting, is forming continually unpleasant education environments.

Now here I am with four little minds in my care, and we are home-schooling.

Why are we home-schooling? I honestly don’t know why, but that is what God has for us, and I am very much at peace with it, despite the days that bring me tears.

Unlike many in my parent’s generation, I can’t say for us it is a biblical conviction, other than we are each to be sensitive and humble to God’s calling on our lives. My husband and I do not feel home-schooling is the right choice for everyone who is a Christian. Each of us must raise and educate our children how God lays on our heart and directs our paths. For someone to home-school who God is leading to public education would be just as wrong as for me to send my children to public school.

I do have friends who keep an open mind to how they educate their children and re-address it every year. Or say they are doing this for now, but are open to whatever God has for them in the future. Nothing is wrong with either of those aspects.

That is not us. I have always hoped to be able educate my children at home. Since I was a little girl I played school with siblings and friends, or just my stuffed animals. As I grew older, I wanted to start a boarding school and wrote out ideas in a book. Education has always been important to me. My mother was an educator. My grandmother was an educator. And my Great-Grandfather was a school principle. Education runs deep in my veins. My husband is also an educator as is his mother. We thrive on teaching and embrace every teaching moment. Home-schooling is a perfect fit for our family. And it is amazing to see how God not only prepared both of us to embrace the task of educating our children at home. Every story and every family is truly different, and that is another marvelous aspect of God’s creativity and grace as well.

Why Charlotte Mason? I have always wanted to nurture little brains with more inspirational methods than the molds and curriculum of traditional education allows. I fell in love with Charlotte Mason the first chapter in her book “Home Education.” I knew that is how I wanted to teach my children and began using her methods of inspiration even when my children were tots. I also value the techniques of Montessori and have incorporated those as needed. Classical methods of education are timelessly proven in their effectiveness as well. So, we do some fact memorization, recitation, and copy-work. I have gotten to the point that everything sounds so good it is easy to question the path I am on. So I get the struggle every teacher faces as we try to wisely choose methods and tools of instruction that will be most effective for our learners.

Will you home-school forever? What is meant by that question is, until my children are graduated. Honestly, only the Lord knows the answer, but I hope with all my heart that we are able to do that. I would love to be able to walk with my children all the way through those high school years. I feel privileged that God has asked me to pour my life into my children in such a practical way.

What about socialization? Are you part of a home-school group? I have been asked those two questions by people with great intentions as well as those who are scared for home-schooled children. My answer is “Look at them…they are socially balanced, not shy, and have friends of piers as well as other generations.” In fact, I would venture to guess that children who interact with multi-generational groups are often more socially balanced than those who are only close to piers on a regular basis. I love listening to the vibrant conversations between my children and other people. But aside from a social concern, I rely heavily in God’s grace and sovereignty to have placed my children in our family, knowing exactly how they would be raised. He can also fill in the gaps of my parenting and teaching with His grace. I had to learn social graces in college, but I did, and God provided the grace in my life to grow in that way. If my children were in a public school or private school setting, there would be other gaps that would have to be filled by God’s grace.

What about sports? What about sports? My husband and I are not into much. He loves Nascar, but other than that, we never watch sports. Sports aren’t everything. In fact, they can be a very much God-distracting affection. I am perfectly fine not having my children participate in any team sports. In fact, team sports are a fairly new phenomena in this century. I am not saying that they are wrong in any way. I would certainly support my child in a team sport if he or she was so inclined, but it would be them doing it for their interests, not being involved in a sport because Mom or Dad wanted them to participate.

How Do I Balance Being a Teacher and a Mother? I chuckle at this question, because anyone who asks it has no idea what being a mother is. I would say a huge majority of mothering tasks are teaching, even if a mother is unaware of it. Because all children, whether at home or in a school environment are learning…always. What difference does it make if that teaching it is potty training or reading lessons? All mothers are teachers. I do not have a mother hat and a teacher hat. I am mothering while I give lessons, and teaching while I mother. It is all the same thing in my opinion. Now every mother chooses how much academics she will teach her child. Some, choose to entrust much of that teaching to others, some, like me, simply know we are the ones meant to teach our children academics.

What about the arts? Fine arts are my first thrust. I honestly value fine arts to an incredible degree. My children are being raised listening to Mozart, Handel, and Beethoven. We study artists and their masterpieces as part of our daily lessons. I encourage creativity and individualism in our home as much as I am able. My children, from, kindergarten, are well familiar with the Stories of Shakespeare. I am teaching them to memorize poetry. I want them to be inspired to learn by meeting the arts. I also see an increasing future for anyone who can come up with something new in any field. We live in any ever changing, easily bored society, and anyone who can think in innovative, creative ways will do well in this fast paced world.

Hey, I am scared for my children! Has anyone ever considered what courage it takes to be completely responsible for ones children’s education? Am I going to adequately prepare them for the life God has for them? Am I good enough a teacher to meet their learning needs? Do I challenge them enough? Too much? Are they going to be smart? Are they going to be God fearing adults? My children’s future hinges so much on the next twelve or so years. But here also enters God’s abounding grace. I lean heavily into His grace. I seek His wisdom as I prepare to teach each day. I truly find myself no different that any other godly mother in the burden I have for the precious, precious souls entrusted to my care, for a very short time.

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His Grandma Shocked Me

I was at a playground with my children one day and noticed a couple little boys playing together on the slide.

One of the little boys, whom I will call Boy A, accidently caused the little Boy B, to stumble and fall. Boy A, was either careless or unaware of any trouble he caused and continued on his play without checking on his fallen friend. Boy B sat on the ground and cried about the tumble Boy A had caused him.

Boy B’s, grandma was sitting beside me on the bench.

I expected her to jump up and check out little Boy B. Perhaps give him kisses and pats, telling him it was “OK.”

But she didn’t!

She didn’t budge instead she called to him,

“Awe…Brush it off and get up.”

“Brush it off? Get up?”

I had never heard such a phrase shouted by anyone at a play-ground. Most parents see themselves as their child’s defender and security and would certainly side with the child’s response in some way.

But, “Brush it off?” Those words were unexpected. There was no coddling. No sympathetic, “I know you were wronged, Honey, I am so sorry.”

Unstead, she was teaching that little guy to respond in an amazing way. I soaked in her words.

What an incredible lesson for our emotionally sensative society to hear from this Grandma.

For me, I have re-itterated those words often to my children since that day. It will be an incredible strength to them someday if they can learn how to move on past how they are wronged. Because playground wrongs, are nothing compared to wounds they be given through the years.

How can a person learn to move on, forgive, not let mistreatment be taken personaly?

By teaching that little soul how to resoond at a young age by brushing it off and getting up.

There is more to life that nursing grudges and living in a bitterly bent fashion. I know our world is bitter. It is full of people who believe everything and everyone is against them. If more children were taught to brush it off and get up, what a socity of strong, confident, and brave people we would have!

We cannot be responsible for how we are treated by others in life, but we certainly choose how we respond to being mis-treated. Wallowing in self-pity about such things is not only a futile responce, but a responce that prevents us from moving on a living life to the fullness God has for us!

So are the words I speak to my own soul hears over and over, “Brush it off”

“And get up.”

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Taking a Pause to Ponder, My Father’s Goodness

I have found that there are times my heart is full as I ponder God’s goodness to me.

This morning His goodness has been the prevasive thought on my mind.

Thank you for my dear husband! Thank you for our precious church family! Thank you for my coffe maker and a great cup of coffee this morning. Thank you for warmth on a cold day. Thank you for my cozy old robe. Thank you…

And my heart begins to worship. The song Tony Brown and Pat Barret wtote: “Good Good Father” pierces my ears as I begin the day playing the song on our Echo Dot.

“You’re a good good father
It’s who you are, it’s who you are, it’s who you are
And I’m loved by you
It’s who I am, it’s who I am, it’s who I am”

I am absorbed in pondering God’s goodness to me. Even the goodness I see in His promises. The promise to heal. The promise to restore. The promise of victory. The promises that bring confident expectation to my soul.

The day has begun in worship. How beautiful to embrace those thoughts for a moment. And not stifle them with the business ahead of me and the tasks I will engage to do today.

I am loved by my heavenly Father. He is tender with me: Psalm 103:13. He provides for me: Matthew 10:29-31. My Father loves me more than any earthly Father possibly could!

“He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?” Romans 8:32.

I will sit here for a fading moment and enjoy God’s goodness.

“Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good! Blessed is the man who takes refuge in him!” Psalm 34:8.

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My Mini Wardrobe: Two Years Later

I started creating my mini wardrobe nearly two years ago and thought it was time to give an update on my thoughts about it after seasons have passed. My first post on my minimal wardrobe was over a year ago. So it is time for an update.

I was inspired to pare down my mismatched, ill-fitting, poorly planned wardrobe after reading the book Lessons from Madame Chic by Jennifer L. Scott.

I went through my entire wardrobe and donated or sold pretty much all of it. I had a lot of clothes that I had nothing to wear with, did not fit, or flatter me, were outdated, and simply items I did not like. I found it amazing how little of what hung in my closet that I actually wore.

I began cultivating a wardrobe consisting of about ten basic items, I leaned heavily on French fashion. Breton striped shirts, white jeans, and red, white, and blue as my core colors. I settled on ballet flats, espadrilles, a pair of oxford shoes, and healed boots for my feet. I wore scarves as a daily accessory.

As seasons changed, it did not take me long to realize the practicality of what I wore was also vital in my life.

Some beautiful French staples that didn’t work for me:

Scarves quickly proved to be annoying as I am constantly wiping floors due to people messes. The scarf would dribble and dabble in soapy water, and get in my way as I bent down so often throughout the day. A scarf out on the town is perfectly nice, but since my life is spent 95% at home…scarves ended up being constantly removed until I gave up on them.

I also invested in a really nice white blouse. I loved it, but found it impossible button to keep clean, and it would often wait a while on a hanger before I had time to iron it. The upkeep of a white blouse in my life was also out of the question.

Blazers and sports jackets have never suited me. I feel stiff and unnatural wearing them. But I did give them a shot. I love the look of a brown wool plaid blazer with a warm wool skirt, leather gloves, and tall boots in the autumn….jeans will work too. I also like a blazer with jeans. Mixing the casual and dressy create the perfect blend for all occasions. But on me? I found myself constantly shedding a blazer throughout the day, simply because I find it constricting as I work. Eventually, I never even tried to put on a blazer and just gravitated to my favorite black cashmere sweater…over and over.

Espadrilles were bad news for my feet and also very unpractical for my daily life. I bought two pair of beautiful and good quality espadrille shoes for the summer. A black pair by Andre Assus and a beige pair by Kanna from Spain. The hard soles of the espadrilles were very uncomfortable and hard on my back after a day of wear. I also find my life in the summer involves walks in the woods, pushing little folks on the swing, and time both in and out of doors. Making espadrilles wear out and become dirty very quickly. Espadrilles also are a heavy shoe and I found them too stiff for my daily work. So, I bought a nice pair of Clark sandals and wore them for the rest of the summer, shelving my espadrilles.

Leather jackets can look smashing and chic when paired with pretty much anything. So, I bought one. But friends, it just wasn’t me. I felt unnatural and not myself when wearing it, even though I got a business cut instead of a biker design. I found I never gravitated toward wearing it, and it hung lonely in my closet. So, I sold it last year and have not missed it at all.

Silk…I will try to wear silk again later in life. I love silk, even a touch of it gives any outfit instant luxury. I however, cannot keep up with its care. It spots easily, even with just water. It melts under a hot iron. Silk should not be cleaned by any other method than the dry cleaners, and that only on rare occasion. I have hand washed a silk blouse from time to time to save money, but know from my textile classes, that I am damaging the delicate fibers and slowly dissolving the strands of silk with each washing. Silk simply doesn’t work into my hands-on lifestyle right now.

My journey into chic French classics was not in vain. I discovered a few sticking traits in my wardrobe that I love to wear every day. And I certainly received an education concerning what doesn’t work.

What I held onto in my journey into the chic French classics?

A matching wardrobe! Everything in my wardrobe works with each other. I don’t go shopping without an idea what I need. And I don’t desire to buy clothes that won’t work with what I already own. I have a wardrobe pallet of black, grey, white, navy, and blush pink right now. I like the soft, muted tones.

A good quality purse! I love my patent, cherry red, Burberry purse. It might not be Chanel, but it is well made, and it’s size is adjustable, so suits my needs when I go out. Yes, I only own one purse. I bought it on Poshmark used for several hundred dollars. But it was in amazing condition and would have been an impossible purchase for me at it’s original price tag. I am hoping my Burberry purse will last me until my children are grown. Then I will look for something a little smaller and perhaps in a more finesse design. But that will all be when I am no longer packing items for my children on a regular basis, and have sippy cups, diapers, books, and crayons to tote on the go.

Breton striped shirts have always been a style I gravitated toward. I own two from Boden. One is navy and white stripe and the other is grey and navy stripe. I also bought them used on Poshmark, but am comfortable paying $20 for a great quality shirt and getting snot on it, than if I got the same shirt new for $75.

Cashmere is a recent discovery of softness. I love the cozy warmth a cashmere sweater brings. I seek out middle-of the road cashmere. So farm I have yet to buy a sweater from Naadam or Everlane, but they would be a brand I would gravitate toward. I found a really nice Elizabeth and James black cashmere cardigan on E-bay. I got it cheap because a button was broken. But it probably would have cost several hundered new. My other two cashmere sweaters are from L.L. Bean. One is a blush pink hoodie and the other is an oversize taupe with a turtleneck. Older J.Crew cashmere also has a good reputation, but the newer cashmere is not as fine. I would not buy cheap cashmere from Pure Collection, Gap, Charter Club, or Banana Republic. I would imagine any cashmere sold under a fast fashion label would be thin, would pill, and would itch a little.

Simplicity is something that I love about French fashion. I do believe over-accessorizing simply looks gaudy. I do not need a necklace and a scarf. I do not need sunglasses and a hat. I do not need a watch and a bracelet. One piece of jewelry is ample for any look. I need simplicity in my life, and the French have licensed me to do so.

Mixing casual and dressy pieces to complete the perfect look. Dresses with sneakers, blazers with jeans, silk with denim, skirts with a graphic T-shirt…are all examples of well thought out looks that ultimately provide balance. Not that every outfit must be contrasted in that way, but I find it helpful to keep in mind that dressy and casual can be mixed instead of living in their own quarters.

It is hard in our culture, but I am walking away from Polyester…ok… to be perfectly honest, I do have three polyester dresses in my closet at present, but they are moving out soon. I got a couple for my birthday and absolutely love the prints, but due to the fast fashion and cheapness of the garments, I do not expect them to a long life in my closet. Polyester, is essentially a fine plastic filament. It is like wearing a plastic bag for clothing. It does not allow the skin to breath and so can cause body orders to incur. It seems like an unhealthy fabric to be wearing. It is also extremely cheap. So, other than some experimental breathable Polyester that has just hit the market, (it won’t be in shops I can afford for some time), ALL clothing made with polyester is cheap, no matter how much it cost. I cannot tell you how many shops I have been saddened to see beautiful garments made with the plastic. It immediately puts the entire brand in the mode of fast, cheap, fashion…even if the price tags don’t read that. Someone is making a killing. As I am writing, I see a need to expound on fabrics more, but that is for another post.

Levi Jeans are truly the best. I find the fit and make of classic Levi’s to be the best jean. I don’t wear any other brand. Levi’s wear out into a beautiful distressed look too. Some jeans simply look worn out. But Levi’s tend to look like they were made that way. I have three pair of jeans. A dark skinny Levi, a light distressed skinny Levi, and a dark boot-cut Levi.

A little black dress is a favorite of mine, even though it is not a truly a French staple. Other than my two cheap polyester dresses, I currently own two other dresses…both black. One is made by Boden. It fits and flatters beautifully. I bought it on E bay for under thirty dollars. The other dress I have is a fancy Swiss Dot black dress made by Anthropologie…yes, cheap, poly fabric, but the cut flatters me and I typically wear it for the times I dress up. I am going to hang onto that dress until I can find a suitable quality replacement.

And that is my mini wardrobe going on over a year and a half now. I am so grateful for the time it has saved me and the lessons I have learned by owning a minimal item wardrobe. I have more fun being creative with my clothes than I used to. I also feel sharp in each outfit I own and don’t have to wonder if it looks good on me. Everything in my closet fits! And moving to better quality items had opened my eyes to the value of buying something beautiful that will last for generations. If I care for my sweaters, they are perhaps something my daughters can enjoy wearing someday. My Burberry purse will probably withstand ten more years of life and I can still sell it for a good bit to put toward another great handbag. My feet don’t hurt from poorly made shoes. My jeans fit and flatter, even if I gain ten pounds. I love mixing and matching my clothes! I never ask myself…”Does this shirt go with my sweater? Because everything does! I am very happy with my choice to own a mini wardrobe.

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The Value of Repetition

Christian music has been an area of controversy among Christians for generations. I think we might be finally walking out of that as doctrinally rich hymns, songs, and spiritual songs are being written.

I would like to gently address a common thought that songs that repeat the same words over and over are vain and obnoxious. My thought as I study Scripture is that repetition is a Biblical form of worship and teaching.

I see in Revelation creatures who are ceaseless in their repetition: “And the four living creatures, each of them with six wings, are full of eyes all around and within, and day and night they never cease to say, “Holy, holy, holy, is the Lord God Almighty, who was and is and is to come!” Rev.. 4:8

Psalm 136 is another great example of repetition as David points out occasion after occasion where God’s “Steadfast love endures forever.” “Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good, for his steadfast love endures forever.  Give thanks to the God of gods,
    for his steadfast love endures forever. Give thanks to the Lord of lords,
    for his steadfast love endures forever;” Psalm 136

Repetition is not in vain unless it is said meaninglessly. Matthew 6:7-8 warns us of meaningless repetition in prayer. “And when you pray, do not heap up empty phrases as the Gentiles do, for they think that they will be heard for their many words. Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him.”

Truly there is nothing but vanity in singing anything repetativly or thoughtlessly. There is also vanity in meaningless words that lack biblical truth. Biblically untrue songs cannot be sung with a heart of genuine worship because only truth about God from Scripture is able to bring about a heart of worship.

With that said,

Repetition is part of Worship: Worship is truly all about the heart of the worshiper. Are we truly involved in our worship or just observers mouthing words? Do our eyes fill with tears when we sing of the cross. Is our heart full of awe when we sing of our Creator’s glory? Or is worship about us? Is it about the tunes and instruments we like? The songs we are familiar singing? The people we are comfortable worshiping with? Honestly, sometimes I need to repeat a phrase a few times before the concept sinks in and my heart can praise God through the truth. And then, I want to emphasize that truth and sing it louder and with more heart. Repetition is valuable in worship IF it is truthful and heartfelt.

Repetition is necessary for our souls: Yes, sometimes we sing songs that minister to our own souls. But even in those songs, what is wrong with repetition? What is wrong with reminding ourselves with repetition how good God is? We learn by repetition. We need repetition for the health of our faltering, weak, and sin tainted souls. How often we stumble and fall into the same sins of distrusting God? Failing to see His goodness? Not resting in His promises? We need to meditate on truth, which means speaking and even singing Biblical truths to our own souls repeatedly.

Oh that we would sing more repetition! Oh that we would be in awe of every word that we sing! And sing over and over and over….through all eternity…Because God is worthy of every word…over and over and over.

“Worthy are you, our Lord and God, to receive glory and honor and power,
for you created all things, and by your will they existed and were created.” Revelation 4:11