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Why Every Homemaker Should Have a Trade

person using a sewing machine

I love being a stay-at-home Mom, home-maker, home-school teacher, and have the flexibility to minister to those in church and in the neighborhood.

As one can imagine, the current escalation of the price of food and gas in particular has really put a crimp in our budget. But this is not the first time we have experienced stained finances. When we were fist married and as our children were really little, we lived paycheck to paycheck and found ourselves in a good bit of debt when a large, unexpected expense, like a new baby, popped into our lives.

It has been a blessing to my husband that I have had skills, that I can use to help our lives financially stabilize. As newlyweds, I worked outside the home in a sewing shop. Then, I got a job in an alterations shop and home-schooled four teen girls for a few years. After our children were born, I was able to transition to staying at home with my little ones and take in sewing or teach sewing lessons from home.

Having a skill I could use from the home, not only saved us money personally as I could do our own mending and alterations, as well as transition fabric and sheets into clothing and window treatments, but I could increase our income for needed seasons.

I find our lives once again in need of a little more income. Without leaving the home, I have a skill I can teach to others in my home, or, thanks to the internet, teach online! I cannot say enough for the woman who has at least one skill she can use to earn money.

I have no quarrel with a woman who works outside the home, full or part time, but for me, I value being home and it is my place of ministry. I strive to keep myself centered around the home and all I do is to the benefit of the home.

As we read about lady wisdom in Proverbs 31, work outside the home is very much a part of a wise woman’s life. In fact, the book of Proverbs is peppered with the value of gaining education and working hard. If there is more we can do, we have every liberty to do so.

My career is home-making. I take it very seriously and professionally. Whatever it takes for me to continue being home, I will pursue. Home is my calling and primary ministry. As I have described in Ministering through the Senses of the Home and Sharing Meals with Others, as well as many other posts in the past, I truly see the home as an amazing tool for the gospel and ministering to believers. I want to wield it faithfully, and am unable to do that if my pursuits are elsewhere.

With all of that noted, I am finding that having a skill or two I can use in the home and earn a little income from has been invaluable. I strongly encourage everyone, not just girls to learn a trade and refine a skill that one enjoys and that can be taught and used for income if ever needed.

For me, education and sewing have been very useful skills. This summer, I am opening my home to teach sewing lessons. The income will bless our family, but the skills I am passing on will be invaluable to others as well.

Thousands of other skills exist, photography, cake decorating, graphic design, ceramics, artistic painting, cosmetology, music, special needs tutoring, creative writing…well, in all honesty, with the invention of internet, almost anything can be done from the home!

That is great news for us home-makers who find our hearts desire is rooted in the ministry of the home. The point is that we take the time to learn and polish a skill we love doing. For it can be put into good use for such times as this.

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A Lesson from Christmas Carol Kauffman

I was about twelve when I read Mrs. Kauffman’s semi-biographical novel, Hidden Rainbow for the first time. My heart was moved by the story of young Anna and her sweet husband John, as they became believers and as they grew from the works based religion into a life filled with grace by faith.  I watched John and Anna endure painful persecution when they left the  Catholic church. Once John and Anna trusted Christ for their salvation.

The Kauffman’s Anabaptist history comes through beautifully in the Hidden Rainbow. Her understanding of grace by faith alone, pours out onto each page as she outlines the struggles of Anna and John Olesh in their attempt to separate from the Catholic faith in former Yugoslavia.

It is not strange that one book can have a deep impact on the soul of a person, but that is what Hidden Rainbow became to me. I have read Hidden Rainbow multiple times since then, but have found that it is a story that has enveloped my life in so many ways.

From the book Hidden Rainbow, my heart learned to beat fast, yearning for the salvation of those in countries closed to the light of Christ. Even today, I beg the Lord to set free captive hearts in such countries where the preaching of the gospel is not allowed.

Seeing the vigilance of a mother under persecution for her faith, I also pray for the strength of believers living in countries where they are not free to read Scripture and worship God. And for the hearts of the precious children of persecuted believers, seeing the forceful pull of government and worshipers of false gods, who sometimes even separate children from Christian parents.

Hidden Rainbow also gave me a perspective of how straight and narrow the path of grace alone is. The path of grace is unmeldable with any other course. No one can purchase a soul with money. No freedom from sin is found in baptism. No prayer, no birthright, no act of another can secure our souls in Christ.

In our American culture, the melding of grace and works is exceedingly prominent among many people who hold dearly to a prayer they said as a child or a life full of religious habits-including Bible reading, prayer, and church. Faithfulness to God does not save our souls.

People are constantly attempting to attach grace to works. It is a futile attempt as grace and works cannot be forced together in any method. The early church of Galatia attempted to blend works and faith and received a pointed letter from Paul.

“I am astonished that you are so quickly deserting him who called you in the grace of Christ and are turning to a different gospel—” Gal 1:6

The only true gospel is dependence on God alone for the redemption of one’s soul and the journey of its sanctification. The false gospel is nothing more than a dependence on one’s self. Trust in grace alone cannot be combined and remain grace alone.

As I journey with Anna and John in their tear filled journey of persecution by the Catholic church, I see their dependency on God strengthened. I see the divide deepened as Anna and John are refused work and John must flee to America to help support his family.

As I see in this book the devotion and commitment of marriage spans oceans. There were no cell-phones or messenger apps to aid John and Anna in their connection. They did not even have a photograph to send with each other. They were committed to each other in a doubtless, unquestioning, and supportive way that few modern marriages understand.

Left with the children in Yogoalavia, Anna stands before a judge for refusing to baptize her infants. Anna is persecuted by her village as they refuse to let her purchase food out of fear of being associated with her. Anna and John’s family beg them to repent and turn back to Catholicism, grieving that  John and Anna no longer submit to the Catholic church and will be doomed to hell.

The gospel is not a uniting truth, but a dividing truth. As Anna struggles to keep her family together, the rift between her, and her extended family becomes deeper, until she is separated from her home by an ocean.

Hidden rainbow is certsinly a book that has stuck to my ribs throughout the years as I my life has encountered some of the challenges John and Anna faced. It gives the heart courage to face what has already been faced and persevered by others.

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A Redeemed Introvert

happy ethnic woman in apron standing at entrance of own cafe

I get everything about the need for personal space, the desire to re-charge, re-group, the distaste for large frivolous gatherings, and the hunger for more than small talk. I desire and understand those things.

Introversion has really become a popular phrase lately. I have had so many people tell me over the past few years how their introversion prevents them from enjoying social experiences.

There is so much information concerning introverts. Introversion is no new thing, but somehow, it seems that it must be something that everyone understands.

Most people I know claim to be introverts. I always thought I was an introvert. I like my personal space. I do not like parties and large groups of people. I feel out-of-place in the world, but comfortable at home.

As the knowledge of introversion has exploded this past decade, it seems that more and more, I find people are finding their identity in their introversion rather than in their redeemed person.

Why do introverts feel the need to tell anyone they are introverts? For one thing, it helps alleviate any feelings of social awkwardness if everyone knows where one is coming from. But it is also a matter of identity.

What does the Bible say about introverts? Nothing actually. Many people we read about in Scripture were probably introverts. Moses comes to mind, as does King David, but the point is that it is simply irrelevant. In Scripture, people are all described by Whom they find their identity in…whether they seek to do God’s will or not is crucial to where they have put their trust.

I want to beg believers to please set their introversion aside and simply seek to obey God.

God commands us to fellowship with other believers. Hebrews 10:24-25 pleads with believers, “let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.” This neglect to fellowship seems as though it is more acceptable if one is an introvert and not an extrovert. Scripture does not command only extroverts to fellowship, but all believers to gather and unite together faithfully. This “meeting together” is not just once a week but the result of a burning desire to walk with God. Acts 2:42 describes believers as devoting themselves to fellowship. “And they devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and the prayers.” May I be devoted so to Christ that I must surround myself constantly with those who also share that desire!

God commands believers to embrace hospitality. Hospitality is not just a gift, it is a command. It is recognized in Scripture that this may be difficult for some more than others, “above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling” I Peter 4:8-9. The home is meant to be our tool to show love to others, not to be a safe-haven from others. I go into much deeper detail on the value of hospitality in articles like: “Ministering Through the Senses in the Home.” But it is truly vital that we evaluate the use of our home and love others more than our own self-comfort. Some are more gifted at hospitality than others, that is ok. All that is asked is that we show love to others by offering up our homes to be used by God with joy.

God commands us to Share the Gospel. As my walk with the Lord draws closer, I will say with joy, that He becomes pre-eminent in my heart in a way that cannot be contained. I want others to know Him and believe in Him. I truly believe that gospel sharing is simply an outpouring of our passionate love for Christ. It should be as natural as breathing air to speak of Him. I think people struggle sharing the gospel, not because of introversion, but from a simple lack of joy in their God. If our identity is in other things, like or roles in life, or character traits like introversion, then that is what we will share with others instead of Christ. Philemon 1:6 “and I pray that the sharing of your faith may become effective for the full knowledge of every good thing that is in us for the sake of Christ.”

God commands us to pray. When Jesus found himself alone, even then He was not alone… How often introverts use the reason that Jesus went away from the crowd and they need time away from people to do the same. When Jesus went off alone, it wasn’t because He was going to sit on the sofa and binge watch “Bridal Wars,” or spend a weekend hiking and reading books by a fire. In fact, Jesus never went off to be alone. He went off to be WITH…with His father. Being alone and resting is not ungodly, but it is not a reason to separate oneself from God and the things of God. Yes, rest is biblical as well, but rest is found in Christ, not in ourselves or in nature, or in time away from home. Rest for our souls is found in Christ. Our dear Savior welcomes us so gently into His presence, “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light” Mt. 11:28-30.

Joy and worship are biblical. This is where art, nature, music, family and time alone come into play. Our joy in our God can pour out of our taking time to be in awe of what He has done and giving Him praise for creation and the beautiful things we see around us. This is not the place for self-indulgence… or is it? I must smile at the thought that if my indulgence is Christ, then yes, there is much room for worship in what I see and do. I can set up my easel for an afternoon and paint flowers with a heart of joyful worship to my Creator. As I discussed in an Tidings of a Leaping Heart, joy and worship in my Savior can, and should be a part of all I do and there is much room for what that entails. I Chronicles 16: 8-36 is too long to include, but most certainly worth reading and worshipping through as David repeats praises to our God. “Sing to the Lord, all the earth! Tell of his salvation from day to day. Declare his glory among the nations, his marvelous works among all the peoples! For great is the Lord, and greatly to be praised, and he is to be feared above all gods” 23-25.

Yes, God has made us each different, and with different natures, desires, skills, and spiritual gifts. Introversion can be such an easy, and understandable excuse for staying in our comfort zone and not doing what is right. Instead of identifying ourselves as introverts, it is much better to simply find our identity in Christ as a sinner saved by grace. As we learn to love Christ more, we will find obeying His commands becomes a joy, not a duty, because our hearts are full of love for Him and love for all those who love Him as dearly as we do!

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The Art of Hearing People

photo of old woman sitting while talking with another woman

Hearing people is truly an art. It is so easy to let words go in out ears with no intent to ponder what we are hearing. A busy mom is often at fault for this as she is interrupted and distracted by little ones during conversation.

So, how can one hear? Really hear someone else?

It begins by loving that person. We naturally tune in to those whom we love. If I have a heart for my children, my husband, my mother, my neighbor, the lady at the store, I am far more apt to desire to hear what it is they have to share with me. But love is often not enough. I love my husband, but how easy it is to get caught up in my own ponder the going on in my own brain while being present and not really hearing what he is telling me.

Love must be played out in prayer. Yes, prayer is essential in truly listening to others. By praying for someone, I am making them a part of my spirit. By incorporating that person into who I am through prayer, I naturally build a concern and attachment to what I hear from him or her. I seek not just a connection with that person as a human being, but as a spirit when I am faithfully taking that person to the Lord in prayer. I also find myself much more interested in the going on’s of a person’s life if there are matters about that person I have been bringing to the Lord. It is wonderful to hear how the Lord is working in a person I personally have been seeking Him about.

Preparing for conversation. I will be the first to state that sometimes conversations pop up unexpectedly without a moment to prepare. However, if I have time, I love to ponder upcoming conversations. I will think of things I want to know, advice I need, or questions I have for that person in advance. If I am already wanting to know things, I am far more apt to be in tune with the discussion.

Observe while listening. This is incredible crucial. How many times I have been in conversation and what the person was telling me did not match up with how that person apperared or I could tell more needed to be said through facial expressions and voice influctions. Sometimes, people do not need to be heard for what they say as much as for who they truly are. How often yawns can tell me my friend is tired and clue me in to leave. A

Read through words to the heart. Words are often used by people to mask insecurities, loneliness, or lack of confidence. A person who tends to ramble and reluctant to end the conversation is most certainly struggling with loneliness. A person who tends to talk about him or herself and brag about their recent exploits is one who is insecure and desirous of affirmation. A person who talks in assertive language and tends to be uncomfortable with silence is one who lacks confidence.

Think about conversations later. This comes naturally for me. I often ponder conversations in retrospect. In my younger, more insecure days, this was not always a good thing and I used it to feed my already insecure mindset. But as the years have past, I find pondering past conversations useful in listening to what was said. I often like to follow up with a text to something we talked about. I am also able to add specific notes to my prayer journal which leads to even more improved hearing in future conversations.

Make friends of good listeners. I have some friends who are amazing listeners. They are gifted in completely tuning me in while we talk. I have learned from them how to hear others better, because they have heard me. How I have been heard by my dear friends has helped me know how to better hear people.

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Sharing the Glory of Easter with the Neighborhood Children

I have a dear friend who has held a neighborhood Easter egg hunt in her yard for years. She was the first person I called when the idea struck my mind that we should do that this year.

My friend is entering the zone of elderly now, but her life is still truly a testimony of God’s grace. She spent a good hour with me on the phone, telling me how she went about hosting the egg hunt every year. She has shared the gospel with hundreds of children as they have passed through her yard searching for plastic filled eggs. Some years over a hundred-showed up!

My first Easter egg hunt is very much a trial version. I hope to build up to the extravagant event my friend prepared, but we are not there yet. I am curious how it will go this year. And what things I will need to alter to make it better next year.

My friend impressed upon me the value of praying in advance. She spent time praying for the people who would come, conversations, relationships, and things like the weather.

Then she would trust the Lord that the right people would be there…parents and children. She did not wonder if she would have enough eggs or stress about who might come or not be able to come. She simply rested in God’s sovereignty in the whole matter.

Her preparations began for the coming year, the day after Easter. She snatched up eggs, toys, decorations and games on sale.

She ordered bulk egg toys and shopped dollar stores for egg fillers.

But Easter eggs weren’t her only activity. She planned a craft table with things for children to do.

She prepared a short time to tell the story of Easter and share the gospel. She used the wordless book, Resurrection eggs, had young people from church come tell the story, or read a book.

As I listened, I realized, filling and hiding eggs was a very small part of my dear friend’s Easter egg hunt preparations. The bulk of her time was in prayer over the event and the people.

I was truly impacted by my dear friend’s testimony and humble heart as she described to me what she did. Her voice is quiet and gentle. I have met few people who are as much of an introvert as she is. Yet, her love for people and their broken souls moves her to reach beyond her comfort and into the lives of others!

Oh, that my heart may be so loving of others that I am daily moved out of love for them to share Christ!

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A Few Thoughts for the Expectant Mommy

I will never forget the moment I looked at the positive pregnancy test for my first child. After my dis-belief caused me to take the second test, which of course also showed two lines, excitement was my strongest emotion. But there were twinges of fear and uncertainty as well.

A call to an OBG was top of my list the next day, and I found myself a bit disappointed that I had to wait 12 weeks before going in to hear my baby’s heartbeat! Yes, I chuckle at my complete lack of knowledge now, but, truly, I was rather ignorant.

But I will admit, that going to the store to register for a baby was far different from going to the store to register for a wedding. I had no clue what I needed…other than diapers of course.

I gleaned most of my information from family and friends who had already walked the pregnancy journey. I asked friends what they used and how they liked it. I soon realized, just like Christmas, weddings, and birthday’s, there is a large amount of commercialism, geared toward expectant mothers. From the “natural” perspective, diapers wipes, glass bottles, and baby wraps….to the “quick and easy” mother with disposable diapers, formula, and diaper genie.

There is also a baby fashion that will change from year to year. Colors that are popular for a nursery, and items such as pregnancy pillows, swaddlers, and wrap style baby carriers which could be out of sink with the next generation of mothers.

Even though I had little idea how to prepare, from day one of learning I was pregnant, a preparation for a little life began. Where to begin?

  1. Pray for the Little Soul. As many women, I did pray for future children…more that I would have them than for their body and soul. Once I realized the weight that a little life was actually growing inside me, I felt a weight. It is a weight I carry to this day…a sense of helplessness, accompanied by deep love for my children and hunger to see my children walk with God. The only treatment is to turn that weight into prayer. God created that little body and soul. He loves that little person far more than I do. And it is God, Who rules the rivers of the heart of man.
  2. Journal the Experience. Once she knew we were expecting, my mother-in-law sent a notebook that she had written about her experience with the pregnancy, and the birth of my husband. It was really fun to read through how she told the family, her awakening thoughts, and see little things like her weight rise with each doctor appointment. I decided I wanted to keep these moments I would soon forget. So, I used simple note-book paper as I began scribbling down my pregnancy experience and thoughts. A nice journal or baby book could be nicer ideas. Jim’s mother wrote in a journal fashion, I plan to give the notes to my children someday, so I decided to write in a letter format. It is a tradition I keep to this day. I wrote about it in more detail in the post: Letters to My Children.
  3. Take Ownership of Motherhood. This is something I wish I had felt more free to do as a first time mother, but it took me a couple months after my daughter was born for my ownership of who I was to her kicked in. I do believe there are many women who naturally feel confident in their newly existing mothership, and this is not a struggle. But for those who find themselves insecure, it is a great strength to remember that you are the one God chose to mother that little person and no one, not a doctor, not a family member, or any kind of expert must bear that weight. Every decision is yours to make based upon what you think is best for your child…right or wrong. That child belongs to God, and entrusted to you and must be seen in that way.
  4. Let wisdom be the guide; not fear. Within the first few weeks of discovering she is carrying a child, a young mother is bombarded with decisions. How to give birth, where to give birth, natural or epidural, vaccinations, tests, ultrasounds, which pediatrician….the list is truly endless. In our fear riddled world, my heart aches to see mother after mother basing her decisions for what is best for her child based on her fear. So often, a mother will read something or hear something and make a decision because she is afraid. I lean heavily into James 1:5 “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.” Again, going back to the first step in motherhood. Mommy’s must rest in wisdom and biblical truth for raising their children, not the latest post on Facebook.
  5. Rejoice! Oh how easy we become ungrateful for the most amazing gifts! Stretch marks, varicose veins, exhaustion, morning sickness, weight gain, emotional changes, sleep deprivation, and a rise in bodily temperate are all normal experiences for expectant mothers. Although I was very happy to be pregnant with our first child, I did struggle being grateful for the uncomfortable reminders of the person growing inside me. With each child, the preciousness deepened until with my last one, I could not wait for him to wake up and cry in the night so I could go feed him and snuggle a bit. I understand motherhood is a very sacrificial ministry, but each discomfort and sacrifice are only reminders of the joy and preciousness of bearing life and should not cause complaint. How many woman have longed for years to get morning sick and get a round fat belly! It is truly a gift.
Letters to My Children
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Ten Simple Meals to Teach a Child to Cook

anise aroma art bazaar

When teaching a child to be able cook food without supervision, it can be a little tricky to decide where to begin. So much depends upon each child’s interest, motor skills, and maturity.

For us, it has been different with each child. I decided to begin building independence with my oldest when she nearing nine. It was partially out of necessity. I needed more help around the house and having someone who could make lunch on occasion has been invaluable.

As I have cooked, and taught cooking lessons, I have found it helpful to begin with foods that are multi-purpose and of course, simple. I also try to pick meals that can be cooked in various ways so my children can get used to different cooking methods.

  1. Scrambled eggs in a fry pan are my first go-to food to teach my children to cook. They can be served at any meal and require little effort. Besides, what child does not enjoy cracking open an egg?
  2. Grilled cheese (cooked on a gridle or in a frying pan) are not only simple, but a favorite of most of the children in our home.
  3. Salmon Patties are a simple dinner most children can cook. I mix a can of salmon with two eggs and a dash or two of “everything bagel” seasoning. Salmon patties can be fried on a gridle or fry pan.
  4. Taco Meat is incredibly simple if I have pre-mixed my own seasonings or use store-bought packets. All my child needs to do is cook up the meat in a frypan and add the seasonings. I can help with the sides.
  5. Chicken and Rice is a family favorite. I can teach my children to cook rice on the stove or instant pot and then we add cooked chicken and seasoned salt.
  6. Baked Potatoes are a simple side dish or meal that takes nothing but a good scrubbing, olive oil, and salt. This is a good introduction to using an oven for children.
  7. Hot dogs are a no brainer for anyone. They can be cooked on a gridle, fry-pan, or in the oven.
  8. French Toast is easily mastered by young chefs. It is basically eggs, milk, and bread and can be cooked on a gridle.
  9. Basic Chili is a great, and more complex dish to introduce to a child. It requires little but cooked meat, cans of beans, tomato sauce, and seasonings. A child can have fun experimenting with different beans and meats with time.
  10. Roast Chicken is far more simple than it sounds. Really, other than making sure the bird is cleaned out and salted, little has to be done but put it in a pan and in the oven for an hour. I do recommend a couple sturdy oven mitts to prevent any chance of burning if a child is independent enough to put the bird in a hot oven and take it out when done.
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Motivating Children to Cook and Bake

Busy mother’s know how easy it is to do everything themselves and keep out the “help.” How many mother’s use their dinnertime prep to allow their children to sit in front of the television?

I think everyone should know how to cook. Cooking is a life skill that is essential to thriving. By learning to cook a healthy, balanced meal, a person can keep his or her body nourished. If one is prone to buy prepared food or restaurant food, cooking will save money as well. Many also find cooking to be a creative outlet and relieve the stresses of life.

Cooking is also an important for ministering tool. Food blesses people in a way little else can. When I was an undergrad taking a cooking an meal management class, a young man was in my class. He did not know a thing about cooking, but wanted to learn so he could help our his wife someday. I loved that sacrificial perspective. And think more people who find themselves uneasy in the kitchen, need to humble themselves and learn how to be more comfortable in the kitchen simply to enhance ministry opportunities.

I believe everyone is able to learn to cook. Cooking does not have to be of gourmet caliber. I am afraid the television has ruined our standards of what makes a fine meal. If one can learn to create a delicious plate of vegetables and meat, cooking has happened. In fact, simple meals are preferred by most of the population. People find such comfort it an unintimidating bowl of chicken and rice.

Baking is a little more complicated in my opinion because it involves a bit more chemistry than cooking, but baking is usually the preference of children’s kitchen activities. Children love to mix flours and powders. They love to sample the interesting ingredients. Children especially love to get messy, gooey, and sticky as they touch dough and powders.

So, as a busy mother, how am I inspiring my children to enjoy cooking and baking?

  1. Cultivate habits of keeping children close while working in the kitchen. Children need to know they have a place beside mother in the kitchen. They learn that as infants strapped to their mother’s chest while she works. Children learn to have a place in the kitchen while they hang on mother’s pant leg while she scurries to make supper. Children learn to have a place in the kitchen as they pull up a stool and stir ingredients into a bowl. The kitchen becomes connected to warmth, comfort, and home very quickly to a child who spends his or her time beside mother there, day after day.
  2. Allow time to include children in meal prep and baking. Kitchen work will move at a slower pace if children are involved. I confess it is not convenient to have children underfoot while I work in the kitchen, but the point in having children was not for convenience. If I allow a little extra time by starting dinner early or give myself grace to eat a little later, I can include the little dears into the cooking experience.
  3. Learn to cherish the messes made by little “helping” hands. If I embrace the blessing of flour on the floor, sticky fingers being licked, eggshells in the cookies, and splatters around the pot I find joy in my heart instead of frustration as I work alongside my little ones in the kitchen. It is all a matter of what I choose to see as beautiful in that moment.
  4. Let them enjoy have choices of what they bake and cook. All of my children have favorite foods. If I am making one of those particular things, I will often ask if they want to help me. For Thanksgiving, each child gets to make his or her favorite pie. For Christmas, I let the children choose a couple cookies to help me bake for our neighbors. As I am menu planning for the week or the month, I will often ask the children for meal ideas and they can help me cook the meals they choose.
  5. Be around to guide, but don’t micromanage. As my children get older, they are more and more independent in the kitchen. My older children can make lunch on days I have no time…scrambled eggs, noodles, sandwiches, and toast are a few easy lunch items they put together. I will never forget the blessing it was one morning a couple months ago to wake up to the smell of eggs toast, and hot coffee made independently, and unprompted by my three girls! Micromanaging my kitchen would make my children feel as though they have no place there. So, I am careful to say “yes” as often as possible to their kitchen endeavors. I wan them to feel that it is their kitchen too!
  6. Show cleanup is part of cooking. Cleanup is usually the least fun portion of cooking for both adults and children. I like to teach my children to clean as they go. It really helps not have a mountain of work after the food has been cooked. When they are very young, I help them out. I do not want the cleanup to discourage them from working in the kitchen. But as a child is more capable, I insist the cleanup be done by her. I so not want to cultivate habits of leaving messes for others, in the kitchen or anywhere else.
  7. Utilize, don’t stifle a child’s natural curiosity in the kitchen. Children have a natural interest in tastes, smells, and textures of what is found in the kitchen. I am not saying I want my children burying their hands in my container of flour, but I do my best to allow them to use their senses while they cook. To enjoy and learn, it is essential that they know the ingredients they are using, so yes, there is a lot of tasting, smelling, and touching going on as we cook!
  8. Create a kitchen environment for each child’s best experience. I enjoy listening to classical harp music while cooking, but I have a daughter who prefers stories, and a son who prefers toddler songs. I allow the child helping me to have his or her pick of listening material or conversation with mom while cooking or baking. I think it helps each child take ownership of the kitchen and have a sense of belonging while he or she works.
  9. Keep the cooking to one child at a time. I have mistakenly included too many children at once in my cooking work. Then I cannot remember if the baking powder was added in, or if both scoops of sugar were included… It messes things up a bit. Our kitchen is also a small one and there isn’t room for many people in it at once. We often take turns in our house, just to keep the food turning out alright. One child can help with vegetables for dinner and another prep meat for roasting. It can be divided up easily and in shifts. Oh the joy each child takes when “their” dish is enjoyed at dinner.
  10. Purpose to teach children to make age-appropriate dishes. When a child is at a certain maturity, he or she can be taught to use knives, turn on the stove, put cookies into the oven, and such. Only a mother will know when each of her children is ready to move on to the next step.

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Experiencing Birthing Pains with Joy

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I know I labored for hours, writhing in the pain of each contraction leading up the he birth of my first child. But despite the deathly pain, I only remember one thing most about that day. The moment I saw my sweet little girl’s round head and the immense joy that filled my soul as I gathered her in my arms for the first time. Every ounce of discomfort was completely worth it.

I rarely read the news anymore, but for the sake of a quick knowledge, I took a quick glance today. As one could imagine, I left my reading of current events with a heavy heart. The pain in this earth is incredible. Wars, famines, unrest, oppressions, death, disease, destruction, hatred, violence, storms, earthquakes are a few of them endless and increasing troubles I see in the news.

Then I reflected on conversations with friends this past week. Every one I know has major pains in their lives. People are hurting, struggling, and in distress everywhere I look.

Is this how things have always been? Or is it getting worse? I think everyone on earth would agree that they have never seen the world in the incredible turmoil we have now. My heart is weary of all the disturbing news. I feel as though the earth is crumbling apart beneath my feet.

Then Romans 8, like a plumb bob, slides down right before my quaking heart, bringing my faltering heart back in sink with truth.

“For we know that the whole creation has been groaning together in the pains of childbirth until now. And not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies. For in this hope we were saved. Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what he sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience.” Romans 8:18-25

I do remember contractions. Ouch! A wave of pain surges through the body, then I breathe a moment, as I prepare for the next pains. The pains surge closer and closer together, almost overlapping in intensity as the birth of my precious little one closes in.

Several thousand years ago, a birth was taking place in a small Bethlehem stable. Mary, in the throws of pain of labor, held the promise of the child in her mind. Struggling for that moment when the King would be born!

Just as a woman giving birth, the whole earth is in labor. Waves of pain are pulsing closer and closer together, hardly giving mankind a moment to catch his breath as the time of the King’s return approaches. Creation groans. Humans, who are without hope, lapse into fear and despair.

A smile spreads across my soul. That means ONE thing! My King is coming! My heart bursts with joy as I consider the joy set before me. The earth is preparing for the birth of a Kingdom! Yes, I know much more pain is ahead, but I also see the other end of this mess we call earth. I see glory, fulfillment, and a King sitting upon His throne, ruling the world in perfect harmony.

I suddenly see that I am living in one giant advent season…my heart ought to be in a constant state of rejoicing and hope of my coming King. The despair flees my soul as the brightness of hope soars in.

As I share my joyful ponderings with my husband, he gently reminds me of our Savior who walked through pain, His face set on the joy of our redemption.

“Looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.” Romans 12:2

Pain must come before the joy of holding a new life. I can set that joy set before my heart and, see this troubled world through the eyes of expectant hope.

“Is this what you are asking yourselves, what I meant by saying, ‘A little while and you will not see me, and again a little while and you will see me’? Truly, truly, I say to you, you will weep and lament, but the world will rejoice. You will be sorrowful, but your sorrow will turn into joy. When a woman is giving birth, she has sorrow because her hour has come, but when she has delivered the baby, she no longer remembers the anguish, for joy that a human being has been born into the world. So also you have sorrow now, but I will see you again, and your hearts will rejoice, and no one will take your joy from you. John 16: 20-22

As I wait, watching the world writhe with pain, my heart is free to ache for those without hope, but it is not free to be troubled. My heart is free to long for an end to this troube, but not free to despair. My heart, is free to persevere in its calling, but not free to seek safety and flee earthly troubles. I am secure in the hope set before me and I can endure, with God’s ongoing grace, all that will take place in my time, with hope, joy, and wonder. My King is coming!

JOY TO THE WORLD

Joy to the world! The Lord is come.
Let earth receive her King;
Let every heart prepare Him room;
And heav’n and nature sing,
And heav’n and nature sing.
And heav’n and heav’n and nature sing.

Joy to the world, the Savior reigns
Let men their songs employ.
While fields and floods, rocks, hills, and plains
Repeat the sounding joy,
Repeat the sounding joy
Repeat the sounding joy

No more let sin and sorrows grow,
Nor thorns infest the ground;
He comes to make His blessings flow
Far as the curse is found,
Far as the curse is found,
Far as, far as the curse is found.

He rules the world with truth and grace,
And makes the nations prove
The glories of His righteousness.
And wonders of His love,
And wonders of His love,
And wonders, wonders of His love.

-Watts

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Tidings of a Leaping Heart

I plugged the three, hundredth string of twinkling lights into the middle of the Christmas tree. Tears filled my eyes and rolled down my cheeks. My heart was full! Listening to songs of Christmas worship and pondering the magnificent and grace filled birth of my precious Savior! He has come! Suddenly the three-hundred twinkling lights I had spun on the tree didn’t seem like enough! How could I ever put enough lights on the tree to express my heartfelt joy of the Savior’s incarnation?

I have been told since I was a little girl that Christmas is not about the gifts under the tree or the food on the table. Christmas is not about the lights or the stockings. From stories like The Grinch by dear old Dr. Seuss to Charles Dickens’ Christmas Carol, the heart of Christmas is displayed as more dear than all the decorations, gifts, food, and traditions we enroll in our Christmas festivities.

But what is the heart of Christmas? Secular stories might leave that answer to the reader’s imagination. Generosity, benevolence, joy, and peace are often spoken of by both secular and Christian’s during the Christmas season. But is any one of those what fires our souls during the Christmas season?

My heart overflowing, as it meditates on the holy, righteous, merciful God, and Him who lowered Himself to my pitiful human level for the sake of my redemption. The fullness of time had come, what the earth groaned for had arrived. Healing of what was broken was about to begin.

The Christmas spirit is a leaping spirit; much like that of baby John. Luke 1:41 “And when Elizabeth heard the greeting of Mary, the baby leaped in her womb. And Elizabeth was filled with the Holy Spirit.”

My soul is a leaping soul as it ponders my Savior and His coming to earth. I resonate with John as my soul literally boils with joy! This is Whom my soul knows and loves! He came! What preciousness there is in setting aside a month of the year to worship my Savior as I ponder His incarnation!

God’s own beloved Son, “who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, rather, he made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness.” Phil. 2:6-7. This is not something to be taken for granted, pushed aside or downplayed! I am so grateful our culture takes the month of December to focus on that incredible, divine outpouring of God’s grace to us.

I added another string of lights to the tree….

How often I had allowed myself to feel guilty about our family’s extravagant celebration of Christmas…gifts, decorations, food…. But now, I feel no remorse. My leaping spirit is free. The celebration takes place in my heart, and if my extravagance in the celebration within finds its joy in lights, food, and gifts that serve as reminders and ongoing outpourings of my inadequate celebration of Christ’s birth. No one ought bear no remorse for that.

It is very freeing to simply worship in all things. I can do that with a tree loaded with a thousand lights, or with nothing but a small candle and some holly on my dining room table. I can worship Christ through the giving of gifts, expressing love toward others by giving extravagantly, or simplifying my gifts to home-made keepsakes.

Simplifying the Christmas season does not necessarily focus one’s attention on Christ any more than extravagance does. One either finds complete joy in Christ or she does not, regardless of if it is Christmas or not.

It is in my heart where worship takes place. And through that heart I can choose to keep Christmas in a simple manner or in a brilliant way. I can take joy in a simple string of lights on a tabletop tree, or in a ten foot tree decked with bulbs and lights.

What my heart has come to understand, is that there is no right or wrong in how a one celebrates Christmas. The point is that the joy of my Savior thrives within my heart all year, every year.

Ebenezer Scrooge proclaims at the realization that Christmas is not an event but a spirit of the heart: “I will honor Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year. I will live in the Past, the Present, and the Future. The Spirits of all Three shall strive within me. I will not shut out the lessons that they teach.” Charles Dickens

So may my heart leap at every thought of Christ’s incarnation, at Christmas, every day, and all year long! And may I not shut out the joy I have in my Savior.

“How my spirit rejoices in God my Savior!” Mary’s Magnificat: Luke 1:47

For more reflections about our Savior’s birth check out a past post: For the Keeping of Christmas.