Reading Jane Austen with Daughters

I didn’t read any of Jane Austen’s books until after I had graduated from college. However, when I delved into “Pride and Prejudice” for the first time, Jane’s writing captured my heart. Much like L.M. Montgomery’s “Anne of Green Gables,” I found Jane’s characters relatable and familiar.

What struck me most was that Jane’s characters weren’t stagnant. They evolved, much like real humans do. Emma, Elizabeth Bennet, and Elinor Dashwood all matured emotionally as I turned the pages.

Jane’s novels primarily revolve around conversations—layer upon layer of dialogue—with very little action. As I read, I felt like a fly on the wall, observing every person in the story and hearing their deepest thoughts.

As my daughters grew, I knew I wanted to introduce them to the beautiful and timeless writing of Jane Austen. There are multiple reasons I wanted my girls to be introduced to the books by Miss Austin, but overall, I feel strongly that the characters in her novels will help my daughters thinking and verbal skills, as well as impact their perspective on romance and marriage.

I want my girls to to see the failures and shortcomings of others, and the way a person develops over time. Sometimes a child does not see this change in herself or others because a child has not had a long time to observe. It gives hope for my daughter to know that what she struggles with whether prejudice, pride, a poor economic situation,  or a quick tongue can be overcome and altered with time. What we see in a person now, has not always been who that person was. Nor what a person is today, is what that person will always be.

Jane Austen excels at portraying disagreements among characters. In today’s world, however, there seems to be little tolerance or understanding for differing opinions. Rather than engaging in verbal disagreements, many people simply avoid certain conversations or topics altogether. Fear of expressing their true thoughts on a matter is common, and sensible discourse on various subjects is increasingly rare.

In Jane’s books, we encounter intense disagreements, such as the one between Emma and Mr. Knightley regarding Emma’s friend, Harriet Smith. Similarly, the rift between Elizabeth Bennet and Mr. Darcy in “Pride and Prejudice” provides valuable insights. Reading about these characters allows us to appreciate their ability to express their views graciously, stand up for their beliefs, and engage in sensible arguments that help readers understand both sides.

Another aspect Jane Austen masterfully portrays is the art of confession. Her characters often make significant mistakes, but by the end of the story, they acknowledge their wrongdoings. Whether through heartfelt letters or face-to-face conversations, issues are addressed, resolved, and settled. This willingness to confront problems head-on is a rare gem in our modern culture of self-importance and image-consciousness.

We desperately need this approach in our world—within marriages, churches, and friendships. Too often, important matters go unaddressed because we lack the know-how. Jane Austen’s works teach us how to navigate conflicts, live with our differences, and humbly admit when we are wrong, ultimately altering our course for the better.

Jane Austen gives words to my daughters. Her vocabulary is rich, but beyond the remarkable words she employs in her books, lies her skill in weaving those words together during conversations. Through these dialogues, she crafts arguments, perspectives, and evokes emotions—pain, regret, and depths of feeling.

Often, individuals grapple with unexpressed thoughts and emotions. Jane Austen’s novels serve as a bridge, enabling my daughters to articulate those innermost sentiments. By reading her works, they learn to give voice to their feelings and put their thoughts into words.

Reading Jane Austen’s novels sets a high standard for my daughters’ expectations of a good husband. While true gentlemen may be rare, they do still exist—I happen to be married to one. I want my daughters to recognize the qualities of a good man: how he treats a lady with protection, kindness, and grace.

The gentlemen in Jane Austen’s novels are diverse and imperfect, each with their own unique traits. What unites them is their kindness. They are not the stereotypical macho figures, flexing muscles and boasting. Instead, they exhibit selflessness, standing up for what is right and treating others with respect. Even during moments of disagreement with a lady, they maintain composure and avoid brashness or loss of self-control. These men exemplify true gentleness, a trait I hope my daughters seek in their future spouses.

In a world where fairy tales often depict a kiss as the magical key to love, Jane Austen offers a different perspective. In her novels, love is multifaceted:

  • Honesty: Love involves openness and truthfulness.
  • Forgiveness: It requires the ability to let go of past mistakes and hurts.
  • Disagreement: Love doesn’t shy away from differences but navigates them with grace.
  • Selflessness: It prioritizes the well-being of the other person.
  • Patience: Love waits, endures, and perseveres.
  • Silence: Sometimes love speaks softly or remains unspoken.
  • Timing: Love understands the right moment for commitment.
  • Guidance: It leads and supports.
  • Learning: Love grows through understanding and shared experiences.
  • Perseverance: It doesn’t give up easily.
  • Moving On: Love allows healing and growth after heartbreak.
  • Fighting for Love: Like Mr. Darcy, love is worth the struggle.
  • Endurance: It withstands challenges and stands the test of time.

Jane Austen’s characters exemplify these facets of love. Their journeys reveal that love isn’t instantaneous; it’s a gradual process. It’s not just about fleeting feelings, but about building something lasting. So, let us teach our children to see romance as a lifelong, sometimes painful, yet faithful journey—a journey where love is more than mere appearances or fleeting moments, but a commitment to endure and cherish.

I want to read Jane Austen’s books with each of my daughters, rather than simply giving them the books to read on their own. Recently, reading “Emma” to my oldest daughter sparked numerous interesting and necessary conversations. We’ve delved into the cultural context of that time, explored the differing perspectives on marriage then and now, and discussed the development of various characters.

Most importantly, Jane Austen’s works have brought my daughter and me closer together. As we share in the hopes and disappointments of each character, we are able to engage in many heartfelt discussions about each character’s actions and words.

Close Your Ears- A Lesson in Discretion

“Close your ears,” my mother would say, signaling all of us at the dinner table that we had just overheard something not yet meant for our ears. Usually, it was a snippet of conversation between her and Dad, something exciting or intriguing. But occasionally, it was information accidentally revealed during casual talk.

As a child, I held the unofficial title of the world’s most curious snoop. Whenever my parents retreated to their room for a private conversation, I’d press my ear against the door, eager to catch every word. My parents, while amused by my inquisitiveness, recognized it as a flaw that needed correction.

My mother spent years teaching me discretion—to mind my own business and respect others’ privacy. No more eavesdropping on her phone calls or prying into who had called. “Listening in” was neither cute nor acceptable behavior. They assured me that if something truly essential arose, they’d share it with me in due time.

By their example, my parents instilled in me the art of avoiding gossip. They taught me that the listener is as guilty as the teller. I witnessed my mother gracefully halt a friend mid-conversation, saying, “Please, no more. I don’t need to hear that.” She’d then steer the discussion away from sharing someone else’s shortcomings.

Today, my curiosity remains intact, but my upbringing guides me. I’ve advised friends not to divulge unnecessary details or names. Sometimes, all I need to pray for a situation is minimal information. I shared in a recent post, Love Covers about the importance of knowing what things to share and what there are private; knowing who to tell things to is also invaluable for children to lean.

Gossip and slander—two words that often slip into our conversations unnoticed. Gossip is one person telling unconfirmed information to other people. and Slander is saying bad things about another person. Both gossip and slander are unnecessary, unloving, and harmful. Both gossip and slander involve a teller and a hearer.

I have learned that a lot of hurt and pain could be completely avoided if people could discern not only when shut their mouths, but their ears too.

As hearers, we bear a responsibility when it comes to the information we receive. When someone shares potentially harmful details about another person, we must quickly discern whether or not we need to engage in that conversation.

When to Listen:

Responsibility to Help:

When counseling someone or discipling a child, the information they share becomes crucial. It equips me as a guide to know where issues are and how to best help those in my care overcome their difficulties with others.

If I am personally involved:

Sometimes I need to be informed about things that concern me because they relate either to me or to a situation that pertains to me. In such cases, actively listening to information, discerning truth from falsehood, and avoiding assumptions about unknown details can be insightful in seeking the truth of a personal situation.

When to close your ears:

Unnecessary Details:

If we’re not directly involved or responsible, we’re not doing anyone a favor by hearing things that should remain private.

Avoiding Harm:

Gossip and slander can inflict wounds. By choosing not to listen we guar our hearts and minds from negative thoughts and feelings about others, as well as untruths that might be told us by someone who does not have all the facts or is so personally involved only one perspective seems right.

We don’t hear much about the sin of gossip in our culture. I think it has hidden in a variety of names…. confiding, seeking justice, prayer request, preventing further harm to others… Gossip doesn’t always name names, or even seek to damage as it strives to be heard and seen.

The Hidden Faces of Gossip:

Our culture often disguises gossip under various names:

  • Confiding: If my friend is telling me her negative opinions about someone else, chances are, she or he cannot be trusted with my confidence either. As person who shares too much has a problem of sharing too much, no-one is safe in their mouth.
  • Seeking Justice: Some people consider it good justice/revenge to ruin another person’s reputation, by sharing that persons secrets in public. If the right courses put in place by God do not serve justice, as Christians, we have no choice but to leave the matter in God’s hands. We should never attempt to resolve those matters on our own.
  • Prayer Requests: Sometimes, we use prayer as a cover for gossip. By asking someone to pray for a situation, we sometimes share more than should be said or hear more than should be heard.
  • Preventing Further Harm: We convince ourselves that sharing information serves a noble purpose; that may sometimes be true, but in general that is a cover-up reason for those who are dealing with deep hurt and seeking personal healing by sharing their story.

People who are godless are described in Romans 1:29-31 as: “filled with every kind of wickedness, evil, greed and depravity. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit and malice. They are gossips, 30 slanderers, God-haters, insolent, arrogant and boastful; they invent ways of doing evil; they disobey their parents; 31 they have no understanding, no fidelity, no loveno mercy.

II Corinthians 12:20 also describes artificial believers as: there may be discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, slander, gossip, arrogance and disorder.”

We, as believers  to guard our mouths and ears with great diligence. If there is a question that we ae saying or hearing something that could be gossip or slander, it is best not to say a word. And if we are uncertain if what we are being told is completely true, helpful, or kind…it is best to find something else to talk about, or as my mother would say, “Close your ears.”

Love Covers

As Christians, we believe we are accountable to God for every thought and every word. What we say matters.

It takes great discernment to learn what must be told to someone else and what must be kept quiet. I believe that learning how and what to share about others begins in childhood.

Training my children about what is appropriate to talk about begins with my example. I learned at a young age by watching my mother tell a person that she did not want to hear something they were telling her about someone else. My husband’s mother taught him to tactfully change the subject when there was a conversation started that was full of slander or gossip. My children watch me, and how I talk about others to others is heard by them on a regular basis. Slander and gossip ought not to have a place in my speech. I also do not share with my child the wrongdoings of his or her sibling. If a child is caught and given consequences, my husband and I do not make that public. We take the offending child into privacy and deal with the matter. If our other children want to know what happened, we make it clear that it is not their business.

I also speak and repeat to my children what is appropriate to tell others and what needs to be kept to oneself.

What to Share:

  1. Emergencies: If there’s an urgent situation or someone’s safety is at risk, I encourage my children to tell me. I want them to know what situations are urgent and need my immediate attention.
  2. Disobedience: When someone is actively disobeying a rule or command, as that child’s parent, I do want to know so I can correct my child. Although it may be considered tattling for one child to tell on another, I do consider obedience a primary concern and will deal with a situation if a child tells me about it.

What Not to Share:

  1. Past Grievances: I do not want my children to remind me of conflicts or grievances they have had in the past with siblings. I want them to learn to forgive and leave what has been forgiven behind them. I have taught all of my children I Peter 4:8 and remind them of that if a past and forgiven issue surfaces again. “Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins.” Today, my children know it is time to stop talking when I say, “love covers.”
  2. Slander and Gossip: It has not been difficult to teach my children the pain of gossip or slander. They have all experienced the pain of unkind things said behind their back. I emphasize showing grace and love to others in our conversations as well as in our behavior towards other people.

Who to share with:

I have also learned that there are people who need to be told something because it IS their business. As a mother, most of what my children say and do is my business because I am responsible for them. But there are other people who can be told things that we would not tell everyone, except whose business it is. Doctors can be told personal health concerns. Counselors can be told about relationship problems and difficulties one might have with another person. A police officer can be told grievances about others. Pastors and spiritual leaders can be asked to pray and help in specific personal matters that one should not share with everyone in general. I want my children to know that telling a person information so they can help is not the same as gossip or slander.

As Christian parents, we strive to raise children who embody love, patience, and kindness. By teaching them discernment in conversation, we equip them to navigate relationships with grace and love.

I Corinthians 13:4-7

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”

The Book and Testimony of Richard Wumberland

As part of our daily lessons, I teach my children about church history. While we often delve into the stories of early church martyrs and theologians, this past term, I decided to introduce a more modern perspective.

For my daughter’s sixth-grade study in church history, we’ve been reading the book Tortured for Christ by Richard Wurmbrand. This powerful account sheds light on the persecution that occurred in Romania during the communist regime. Wurmbrand, a pastor during the 1950s-1960s, witnessed firsthand the suffering of Romanian Christians who were targeted by the Communist party. His writing not only shares glimpses of his own years of torture in prison but also highlights the experiences of other believers he encountered.

As we progress through the second half of the book, Pastor Wurmbrand confronts the lies propagated by atheists and communists. He points to various testimonies of those who courageously stood against these falsehoods. Additionally, Pastor Wurmbrand passionately emphasizes the responsibility of Christian brothers and sisters in free countries to support their fellow believers who face persecution.

“Tortured for Christ” serves as a poignant reminder of the unwavering resilience and deep faith exhibited by those who endured unimaginable hardships for their beliefs. This powerful account encourages us to reflect on our own commitment to truth and solidarity with persecuted Christians worldwide.

Throughout my lifetime, I’ve read countless books, but only a few have left an indelible mark on my soul. Tortured for Christ is one of those transformative works. Richard Wurmbrand’s vivid storytelling transports readers to the heart of suffering and sacrifice during Romania’s communist regime.

One of my favorite passages occurs on pages 44-49, where Pastor Wurmbrand told about a regular experience he had in prison:

“It was strictly forbidden to preach to other prisoners, as it is in captive nations today. It was understood that whoever was caught doing received a severe beating. A number of us decided to pay the price for the privilege of preaching, so we accepted their terms. It was a deal: we preached and they beat us. We were happy preaching; they were happy beating us–so everyone was happy” (Wurmbrand, 2013 p.44).

As I continue reading Tortured for Christ, Pastor Wurmbrand shares a powerful account of Christian courage amidst unimaginable suffering. He recounts instances where fellow believers, while sharing the gospel with fellow prisoners, were brutally interrupted and beaten. Yet, remarkably, when these damaged preachers were returned to their cells, they would adjust themselves and ask their listeners, “‘Now, brethren, where did I leave off when I was interrupted?’ And they would continue their gospel message!” (Wurmbrand, 2013, p. 45).

This ongoing pattern of resilience and unwavering commitment is deeply convicting. It prompts me to reflect on my own faith journey: How am I being persecuted for my Savior? How am I willing to endure hardship and sacrifice for Him?

As I sit in my comfortable recliner, surrounded by my Bible and prayer journal, I recognize that my everyday disciplines must also be my sacrifice. Diligently praying, remaining faithful to God’s Word, nurturing my children’s love for their Savior, sacrificially loving my husband, living selflessly, taming my prideful tongue, discerning truth from lies, and walking in grace and tenderness toward others—these are my offerings. Although I may not face physical torment for my faith, I can strive to hold fast to it in a world that constantly pulls me away.

Tortured for Christ serves as a powerful reminder that faith transcends circumstances, and our commitment to truth remains steadfast even when we are not physically beaten or bruised. May we, too, continue our gospel message, undeterred by obstacles, and stand firm in our Savior.

My cross is to live out my faith in a world of comfort—a challenge no less significant than enduring the confines of a dirty prison cell. Perhaps, in this free, wealthy, and comfortable world, crucifying myself proves to be a more demanding task than bearing literal stripes upon my back from another’s whip.

Another lesson from the book resonates deeply: the pettiness that sometimes plagues believers in the free world. Richard Wurmbrand explains that the persecuted church renders our comfortable churches void and meaningless by comparison:

“The Bible verses are not well known in many countries, because Bibles are not permitted. Besides, the preacher had most likely been in prison for years without a Bible…They are like Job who said that he would believe in God even if He would slay him. They are like Jesus who called God “Father,’ even when He was seemingly forsaken on the cross” (Wurmbrand, 2013, p. 89).

As an American Christian, surrounded by stacks of Bibles on my shelves, Bible apps bursting with biblical podcasts on my phone, and a collection of books written by believers spanning centuries, one might assume that I’ve been blessed with abundant opportunities to follow Christ. Yet, in the light of a man who possesses no Bible, no church, and no Christian books or podcasts—laying on the cold floor of his prison cell for the sake of his beloved Savior—I feel like a very small believer indeed.

This stark contrast has given me profound perspective on what truly matters. Believers in persecuted countries don’t have the luxury to engage in disagreements over worship styles, Bible translations, or the role of women in church leadership. The causes we often prioritize in our comfortable Christian churches can sometimes distract us from the essence of the gospel. It’s a sobering reminder that our focus should remain on Christ and His mission.

In a world where self-promotion is rampant, may we humbly seek to live out our faith, bearing witness to the love and sacrifice of our Savior. Let us prioritize what truly matters and hold fast to the precious gospel, regardless of our circumstances.

Believers universally agree on the centrality of Christ and the grace poured out on their souls for salvation. Their hunger for fellowship with other believers drives them to meet faithfully, even at the cost of imprisonment or death. In stark contrast, the persecuted church makes every American Christian appear feeble by comparison.

Truth be told, if I did not rest entirely in Christ’s atonement on my behalf—despite the ease and sinfulness of the world I inhabit—I would seriously question the security of my own soul. It is not by my own efforts but by His grace that I stand. Otherwise, I might be tempted to flee to a country where suffering for His sake would honor Him more profoundly.

In this contemplation, my heart zeroes in on the crux of the matter: it is all about Him. With every poignant testimony I encounter in Pastor Wurmbrand’s book, I glimpse the worthiness of Christ. Yes, He merits every sufferer’s pain and every martyr’s death. Jesus is immeasurably precious to those who love Him, compelling us to daily pick up our cross and follow Him. Whether that cross resembles the chains of a prison cell or the comfort of our lives, both serve as reminders of our devotion to honor Him who carried and died on the cross that was meant for me.

When I survey the wondrous cross
on which the Prince of glory died,
my richest gain I count but loss,
and pour contempt on all my pride.

Forbid it, Lord, that I should boast
save in the death of Christ, my God!
All the vain things that charm me most,
I sacrifice them through his blood.

See, from his head, his hands, his feet,
sorrow and love flow mingled down.
Did e’er such love and sorrow meet,
or thorns compose so rich a crown?

Were the whole realm of nature mine,
that were a present far too small.
Love so amazing, so divine,
demands my soul, my life, my all.  -Isaac Watts

Homeschooling Will Not Save Them

 

On our walk today, we chanced upon some other home-schooling friends and I had a most interesting, yet troubling conversation with one of the mothers.

As we chatted, I learned that my new friend moved into the area a few months ago. In that time, she and her husband had been looking for a church. She sweetly stated that they were not faithful at attending church, but were hoping to find a home church soon and become more faithful. I quickly encouraged her aspiration. And our conversation turned to the subject of modern health-care, then laws, then our deeply broken culture.

She commented how grateful she was to be able to home-school as health-care and culture around her crumbled. The more we talked, the more distance my heart grew from her, as I realized our purpose in life was not the same. Even though she was a believer, she did not rest in God’s sovereignty for her children’s future. She was hoping home-schooling would protect them from the evils within and without.

Growing up as a home-schooler, my new friend was not believing any new lie. It was the same old philosophy I heard from home-schoolers throughout my entire life. The flaw was in parents trusting in home-schooling (basically themselves), rather than trusting in God for the spiritual well-being of their children.

No, it is not new at all that parents rely on how their children are raised and educated to be the redeeming factor in their children’s lives. Even if it is not home-schooling, many parents enroll their children in public or Christian schools for terribly wrong reasons. When I was in Christian college, there were a lot of students there, who were forced to go their as a last resort of their parents to fix the souls of their children. Christian schools are no different today. And I would venture to say that home-schooling is equally at fault. It is the belief in something other than God, to “fix” a child.

I have had many interactions with other home-schoolers throughout my life.  And can personally attest, there are great majority of homeschool parents who home-school out of a heart of fear. In fact, my heart was once in such a place of fearful control. So I completely get the underlying fear of the secular world. Home-schooling can be seen as simply a way for parents to have complete control of their children’s lives. For some parents, that is not the purpose of home-schooling, but for others, that absolutely is. Much more could be said on that account, but a discussion on a person’s need to “control” is another subject for another time.

Homeschooling is a way parents can control input into their children’s lives. Homeschool is a way parents can limit their children’s exposure to the secular world. Homeschooling becomes a way parents can indoctrinate their children with their faith. Homeschooling becomes the way parents protect their children from sin and the influences of the world and help them be good Christians.

Is any of that wrong? We could quibble that those home-schooling parents certainly are well intentioned and not unloving in their pursuit for what is best for their children, but Scripture says that: “Jesus said to him, ‘I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.'” John 14:6.

Christ is the ONLY source of hope for our children’s souls. That goal must be our first pursuit as parents. When I say our primary pursuit, it is most important that it is our personal pursuit. We must pray for our children as we strive to walk with God ourselves. Nothing is of more value for our children than our relationship with God. We must be faithful in studying and memorizing Scripture. We must seek out a church that is also faithful to God’s Word (not one that has a bunch of home-schoolers with the same life values as us). We must be faithful to Christ who sacrificed his precious blood for us: “Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful. And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.” Hebrews 10:23-25.

The trouble lies, when parents put their trust in for their children’s future in home-education and do not prioritize the church (not just “like-minded” homeschoolers). My new friend, was so comforted to know her children were being home-schooled and not pressured to be in the system of the world. Yet, she forsook the biblical command of fellowshipping with other believers. I cannot reconcile that thinking with Scripture. My new friend, could not possibly attempt to lead her children to Christ, if she herself did not lean into Him herself. Other home-schoolers and home-school groups are not the church. They may be believers, but being under the biblical direction and ministry of Elders at a local church is biblical. Home-schooling (dare I say it) is not. Homeschooling is a method of education, not our faith.

Homeschooling families often find safety, security, and hope in their home-schooling. Honestly, nothing could be more dangerous in my mind. I was home-schooled. A lot of my friends were home-schooled too. The vast majority of them are no longer followers of Christ. In fact, we have seen the results of a few home-school Christian leaders such as Joshua Harris who were home-educated and then choose not to follow Christ.

I would be the first to shout out from the mountain tops that home-schooling does not a soul save!

I would rather my children attended the worst, most liberal, public school in the land and had a heart for God, than were educated at my wonderful, safe, God-centered dining room table, and neglected Christ. God is just as capable to save a soul of a child in public school as He can save a home-schooled child’s soul.

Ok, Time-Out: I love home-schooling. I love being a part of my children’s education. I love watching them learn. I love answering their questions about God, life, and why the sky is blue. I love seeing them develop and grow. I love the flexibility we have as we learn. I love being able to talk about our wonderful Creator, our precious Savior and great God as we walk through our subjects in school or pound a loaf of bread. I love guiding my children into acts of kindness and hospitality. It is truly a great gift and privilege that I have to be able to home-school.

But I do choose a church because there are a lot of home-school families in it. I choose a church because it is founded on the truth of God’s Word. I fellowship with others because they are believers, not because they home-school. I want my children to be around a variety of believers…not just home-schoolers. As believers, we all need each others differences. We will not grow, and think well if we only surround ourselves with people who are just like us. My world is not about home-schooling. It is about Christ.

The church is a biblical institution….home-schooling is not. The church is whom we are called to fellowship with. Some of the church will home-school their children like me, and others will not. We are called to live a life of self-sacrifice. That means even building relationships with people who are very different from us. It is the easy thing to limit our children’s exposure and control their input and friendships. And I will be the first to say, that I am the guardian of what and who comes in to the lives of my children. That is wise parenting. However, I choose to walk with my children and help them think through how to get along with children who are unsaved or raised differently than themselves. It is a good teaching tool. I do not send them to public school to let them deal with it on their own. The day they enter the world will come soon enough, but until then, I have the privilege of walking with them as they are exposed and learn about different thoughts and life philosophies.

For instance, our walk with my new home-school friend a few weeks ago, was an incredibly interesting conversation with my older girls who were present to hear it. We could talk about how too many home-schoolers do not value the church, want to submit to its leadership, are critical of any believer who has different values than their own, or control fellowship to only those who are the same. My children and I were able to have a meaningful and vibrant conversation as a result of talking with someone who home-schooled like us, but for very different reasons than us. We have had so many conversations about thing our unsaved neighbor children have said or done, friends in youth group, or even comments from family members that are on a different page.

My goal, is not to point my children to MY standards or beliefs, but always point them to Scripture for their source of truth. I say over and over….”what does Scripture say about this?” Sometimes, I Scripture has no straightforward answer, and I must leave the choice open. and say, it is a matter of personal conviction.

Like how we choose too or not too celebrate Halloween. I let them know that when they grow up, they will have to pray about it and decide for themselves how and what to do about such things that are not doctrinal issues. But preference and areas of personal conviction; someday, that may even include whether or not they will home-school their children.

3 Ways I used Chat GPT this Week for Homeschool

AI

I recently began using Chat GPT to help in my homeschooling journey with my children. I am still discovering ways technology can be useful to me as a Charlotte Mason Home Educator, but as the new year begins, the tool of Chat GPT has already proven itself a wonderful tool.

One of the benefits of home-education is the ability to tailor methods and materials to each students’  ability and need. I have two students with learning challenges. One of my Daughters is on the Spectrum and has several learning struggles, including what we currently know as auditory and visual processing disorders. My other daughter is dyslexic.

Never has education ever had the ability to be so adaptive. I can create a spelling lesson for my autistic child and ask Chat GPT to make it for a child with auditory and visual processing disorders, as well as dyslexia with a focus on memory retention. Chat GPT can do it…and not just one…many different ones!

  1. So one of the things I did this week was I create my girls’ spelling lessons on Chat GPT. I asked Chat GPT to create Spelling Games, Lessons, Evaluations using the Orton-Gillingham Method, taking into account my daughter’s specific learning needs. I use the standard list from Spelling Plus by Susan C. Anthony. That is the book we have been going through, so I am just keeping on course with it. Originally, I had to come up with all the spelling lessons and aids. Now, I as use those word lists, I can ask Chat GPT to create games for the girls to play together to learn their spelling words! It is such a time-saver.
  2. Generate booklists and ideas to inspire reading. I really emphasize reading in our home. We have a large home-library and go to the library weekly to exchange books. I can ask Chat GPT to find books similar to the ones my children already love. I can ask it to level up or level down the list. I even asked it to give me a list of 200 living books for a dyslexic child in sixth grade. Or I have asked it to recommend heavily illustrated chapter books to inspire my budding readers.
  3. Chat GPT has also served to educate me as an educator. I have asked it to give me the best methods to help a dyslexic child learn to love reading. I have asked it how to help an autistic child, with auditory processing, learn to narrate what has been read to her. I just ask what I want to know and get basic info in a simple summary from Chat GPT.

I am looking forward to incorporating this marvelous tool in our home-schooling process. Yes, technology changes things, and I am sure it will have its detriments in the future of some educational journeys. I am praying how to use it wisely, and look forward to how it can benefit me and my children as we learn together.

 

Book Reflections from The Modern Miss Mason

I read a LOT of books. I usually have several going at a time. Since we are getting back into the rhythm of our lessons and books next week, I have been letting my soul be inspired by reading Leah Boden’s book, The Modern Miss Mason.

Leah Boden is an inspiring author, and most certainly a kindred spirit to me. I found myself underlining, line after line in her book.

Charlotte Mason can be a daunting educational method for a lot of home-schooling mothers. I think a lot of home-teachers would agree with Charlotte Mason on many accounts, but the six volume set is a plateful of educational methods and philosophies.

I do believe a mother, whether she home-schools or not, should be educating herself on how to best inspire her children to learn, cultivate good habits, and create a home-environment that cultivates godliness and good discipline. Charlotte Mason’s books are extremally pertinent for any parent in my opinion. But it is understandable that time is a huge deterrent for many a mother with good intentions. The other deterrent from reading Miss Mason’s books is simply that they are written in small print with an older style of writing than we use today. Some of the terms or methods are simply not applicable for our time. The last reason I have found is that women often have difficulty understanding the language of the books written by Charlotte Mason. It can be overwhelming and is not light reading at all.

What Leah Boden has done, is a great service to all who are interested in living education. I love that Leah Boden, takes all of Miss Mason’s educational philosophies and methods, and breaks them down simply. Leah shows the reader what the Charlotte Mason Method looks like in a typical home-schooling household.

One of my take-away quotes from Leah Boden’s book is in her chapter on Living Books, p. 92 when Leah writes that: “Charlotte often stressed that these texts have one dedicated writer, as opposed to a group of editors assembling facts alongside appealing photography.” I love that statement because it summarizes the flaw of textbooks with inferring that textbooks are dead books. Textbooks do not have inspired, passionate authors. Textbooks have limits, borders, and fit into the box of what a child ought to know, instead of laying out a feast of beautiful worded stories of information for a child to taste everything the author lays out.

That is just one example of the many that Leah discusses in her book about the Charlotte Mason Method. In one book, a mother can get the general idea of what Charlotte Mason is about.

The book also is a wonderful source of inspiration for the steadfast believers in the Charlotte Mason Method. Now, I don’t believe it is a book that takes the place of the six volume set, but it certainly is a great start for a general overview, or a quick pep talk as to why someone like me is doing what she is doing.

 

 

 

 

The Joy of the Daily Walk

I set my foot down firmly onto the paved trail. Eight smaller feet rushed on ahead of me in my steady pace. This was a new trail, and therefore a new adventure laid ahead.

It was a balmy December afternoon, just after a couple days of rain, and the clouds still had not figured out how to clear the sky above us.

The four little children I had with me were my own. Each had on a set of rubber boots, hoping to splash in puddles and in the creek beside the trail as we went along the trail.

As we walked there was much splashing, much giggling. The children rushed about the trail, sometimes walking, sometimes running up to the bend in the path and waiting for me and my oldest daughter to catch up.

My son found a vine, hanging from a tree and made a swing of it, which was amazing fun for some time. The sediment of the creek was like soft beech sand, and the children loved to feel their rubber boots get sucked into the sand as they sloshed along in the creek. We came to a brick wall, and instead of walking beside it, it provided opportunity for going up, balancing across, and coming down again…much more fun than the ordinary walking trail.

We call our daily outings, “adventures.” Every time we get out we discover new places, new sights in nature, and even meet some people.

When my children were very small, their endurance on such walks was limited, but now, that my youngest is past five, we find the average three mile walk or hike is very easy to accomplish.

I have chosen to incorporate daily walking into our lives for an insurmountable number of reasons. The most important reason is relationship.

Relationship building is a paramount theme in my life. It is so deeply biblical and is key in growing in love for God and for others. My relationships with God and with others is the only thing that carries on from this world to eternity, and it is vital that I focus efforts and discipline myself in ways that will help me improve all those relationships, as well as help others, such as my children, deepen their relationship with God, my husband and I, and each other.

So, one might ask how a walk cultivates relationship with God. There are many ways that our hearts can be drawn closer to God. Reading Scripture, praying, and spending time with fellow believers are important and very biblical ways to develop a closeness with God. Nature is one of the best sources of deepening our amazement and worship of our Creator.

“But ask the beasts, and they will teach you;
    the birds of the heavens, and they will tell you;
or the bushes of the earth, and they will teach you;
    and the fish of the sea will declare to you.
Who among all these does not know
    that the hand of the Lord has done this?
In his hand is the life of every living thing
    and the breath of all mankind.” Job 12:7-10

Nature keeps us humble as we are reminded how small and how out-of-control we are in life. 

How many are your works, LORD! In wisdom you made them all; the earth is full of your creatures.
There is the sea, vast and spacious, teeming with creatures beyond number— living things both large and small.” Ps. 104:24-25
Nature puts our hearts in worship as we stand in awe of what God made.
“For since the creation of the world God’s invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature—have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that people are without excuse.” Romans 1:10
Nature teaches us about our God.
I also find walks are an excellent way to spend time with people. I am able to have conversations with my children as we go along the trail. My younger ones often leap and skip about, but my older girls like to hang onto mom and talk about stuff.
Walking improves attitudes, aids in brain activity and development, and helps build the natural habit of connecting with others that is so easily neglected in the materialistic, artificial relationships one might find themselves connected with.
I began daily walks for the enrichment of my soul and the building of relationships, but have found that more times than I can count, my daily walks have brought my heart to worship my great Creator, loving Father, and sustainer of my heart and soul.
Psalm 146: Praise the Lord from the earth, you great sea creatures and all deeps, fire and hail, snow and mist, stormy wind fulfilling his word!

What is in my Freezer?

My freezer is a life-saver for food storage. I have the freezer attached to my kitchen fridge and a large outdoor freezer for bulk items.

In my large freezer, I keep things that I do not use on a daily basis.

Today, I have:

4 turkeys: I can get turkeys for less than a dollar a pound during the holidays. They have so much meat and can be thawed to grill in the summer or cooked for soups and casseroles throughout the year. Sometimes, I will pull one out July 25, for a Christmas in July dinner.

10# Brown Jasmine Rice: I buy brown rice in bulk from Azure Standard (not a sponsor). Brown rice is a wonderful whole grain and a great source of fiber. We usually eat rice at least two times a week. It is great, healthy side and works well with a lot of different dishes. I store the rice is quart or gallon Ziplock bags. Rice does not need to be frozen, but I buy it in 30-50# bags and like to know it is in a place where bugs cannot get into it or rodents will not bite through bags.

20# Gluten Free Oats: We do not eat gluten free, but we have people in our home every week who cannot eat it, so to keep things simple, I just buy 30-50# in bulk from Azure Standard. It keeps things simple if when I bake items, such as apple crisp, oat bars, or oatmeal cookies. I freeze oats to keep them from going rancid and to keep out unwanted critters.

10 gallons of bags full of frozen chicken stock. I make my own chicken stock. I like to can it, so it is easy to use, so on occasion I will gather up all my stock into one big pot and can it. But I also find it easy to freeze stock in flat in quart or gallon freezer bags and just melt it to use.

My indoor freezer is where I keep items I use frequently. Like some people, there are items that I buy on occasion like frozen juice pop-cycles for the children in the summer, or that my husband will buy, such as ice cream or toaster strudels.

On a regular basis, the staples I keep in my freezer part of the refrigerator are:

Frozen bananas: I skin and put browning bananas in a freezer bag. I use them later for banana bread or smoothies.

Frozen Berries: I keep bulk bags of strawberries and blueberries. They are usually used for smoothies, but occasionally, I will have a bowl of frozen fruit as a healthy sweet or mix them in plain yogurt with a little stevia for a quick frozen yogurt,

Frozen Vegetables: I buy most of our produce fresh, but I do keep frozen peas and frozen corn regularly. Fresh corn on the cob is hard work  and not always in season. And my children love to eat frozen peas as a vegetable at dinner. That is right! I don’t even cook them. I put them frozen from a bag into a bowl and the children really like them that way. I do buy frozen broccoli and carrots on occasion, but fresh is usually so close in price it is not a money saver. Peas and corn are usually a dollar or less per bag and easy to serve when my fresh produce is running low.

Frozen Ground Beef: I buy organic, grass-fed ground beef in three packs on sale. I choose organic, mainly because I know it doesn’t have added hormones. Since there are four females in our home, I consider hormone health a priority. I settled on organic beef for that reason.

Frozen Ground Turkey: Poultry does not have added hormones whether it is organic or not, so I do not seek out the organic poultry. Ground turkey can be bought in a 1lb. roll at Aldi for a little less than 3$ a pound. It is lean, cheap, and an easy meat to use. I like it for tacos and chili.

Frozen Fish: If our budget allows, I will buy frozen wild caught salmon. Right now, I have frozen cod in the freezer, but in general I like to keep salmon due to its high omega. Sockeye salmon is my first choice because of its supreme health benefits, but I will often settle for less expensive options, rather than have no fish at all.

Frozen Chicken: I buy whole chickens, rarely pre-cut chicken parts. Whole chickens can be stewed, grilled, or roasted easily. A whole chicken can work for a couple meals for our family. I use the bones to make stock once the meat has been eaten.

Frozen Meals: The meals I have in our freezer are usually home-made, but I do buy fish sticks or chicken nuggets on occasion. I like try to get the healthiest options I can find, but they are not a staple, so I don’t feel bad having a quick meal for those days when I need an emergency plan. My children are big enough to heat the oven and warm up breaded fish or chicken. Usually, when I make a casserole or chili or something. I will double the recipe and freeze half. Or serve it one time, (like chili) and put the rest in the freezer for another day. Those meals are nice to pull out to give to someone in need, or use ourselves when I don’t have ingredients or a good meal plan.

Bacon: Bacon is a great meat to have on hand. I usually buy it in bulk. I can serve it up with pancakes, or use it in cooking. It makes the ordinary seem special just by its presence. I try to get brands that have little to no sugar and as few ingredients as possible too. I do not worry about nitrites and nitrates. As long as the bacon isn’t blackened, those are not necessarily carcinogen.

Nuts: I keep a lot of nuts on hand for snacking mostly, but I do use them for baking and salads as well. I usually have walnuts, slivered almonds, and pecans. I pour bulk bags of nuts into jars and freeze the nuts to keep the nut oils fresh until I need to refill my pantry nut jars.

Yeast and Xanthium Gum: I keep these two items in the freezer to preserve their freshness. It is simply where they must be stored. I do not use xanthium gum much, but for gluten-free recipes it comes in handy on occasion.

That wraps it up! My freezer is certainly a very important part of our kitchen. It saves us money as well as allows me to have items on hand for a quick meal.

 

 

 

Our Two Parenting Principles

“Teacher, which is the great commandment in the Law?”

And he said to him, You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment.

And the second is like itYou shall love your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments depend all the Law and the Prophets.”

Matthew 22:36-40

 

Before my husband and I had our first child, we narrowed our child-training to 2 basic goals: To strive to raise children who 1. Love God and 2. Love Others.

Both of those goals have been the guidelines for all our our child-training choices.

We home-school, because that gives us the greatest opportunity to pour Christ into our children…especially on a very small budget.

We memorize Scripture as a family and for school, we teach our children hymns, we point them to God’s grace when we need to discipline them.

I buy books that will help them fall in love with Jesus more and more. Books by C.S. Lewis are particularly amazing in that way.

We encourage our children to have older friends to help mentor them and encourage them in their faith.

We talk about God, we read Scripture.

My oldest child just started youth group. And we have told her, that we are allowing her to attend because we believe it will help her grow in her love for God by hearing more about Him and developing relationships with other people who love Him. But we also told her that if we find it is becoming just a social event and that we are not seeing good fruit coming from her time at youth group. We will pull her out, at least for a season. Even youth-group, which many parents don’t give much thought about, must serve the purpose of helping our children learn love God and others.

I do not like the word “indoctrinate” because that connotates the idea of forceful education. I want my children to grab onto the amazement of God on their own. I only provide a feast of opportunity for them to learn about Him and be amazed.

 

Teaching my children to love others is a bit more practical and incorporates a lot of habit training.

When my children were very little, I worked with them to be quiet and still in church. I know a lot of parents would not bother, but I would tell them things like: “Do not talk to mommy. Mommy is trying to listen and that is unkind.” or “Do not be so loud. You will bother the people around you.”

I think a lot of folks would say that they are just little and such strictness is not necessary. But I do not expect people to accommodate my children. I expected my children to accommodate other people. 

If we go for a play-date with friends, I insists my children put away what they have gotten out. I might tell them on the way over. “After you play, I want you to pick up. You would not like it if someone came to our house and left their mess for you to pick up. So don’t leave your mess for others.” That is something my children understand well, because they have had to pick up often after their friends leave.

I expect good behavior when we visit other people. If my children are naughty. I do not give excuses for them. I never tell others, “He is just tired.” or “This is the result of too much sugar.” or even, “I think she isn’t feeling well.” I believe that giving excuses for my children’s bad behavior is not only a lack of respect to those I am with, but terribly wrong teaching for my child who will learn that it is “ok” not be unkind or grumpy if I don’t feel good.

I hold high expectations of my children because I am not raising children. I am raising adults. If a behavior such as crawling over the arm of a sofa, or picking one’s nose, or not answering when being spoken too, is NOT acceptable behavior for a thirty-year-old, it is not acceptable behavior for at three-year-old.

Teaching children to love others is hard work, and takes forethought. I find I do a lot of pre-event or pre-visit talks, like: “Be sure to say ‘thank you.’ Mrs. Boo has spent a lot of time getting ready for our visit today. I know you might not like everything she is having for dinner, but do not say a word about it. Be grateful for her hard work and eat a bite of everything she serves.” or “We have never been to the Doo’s House before. Please notice or ask if you should take off your shoes indoors.”

In any case, there is scenario after scenario we could walk through together, but everyone has different situations and I cannot predict what other people might need to prepare their children for. I do know it really helps make visits easier for me, for our host, and for my children if we talk about things before we go.

So, opening my children’s eyes to love them with a heart of compassion and understanding is an ongoing journey. In fact, it is something I still mess-up at doing myself.

In any case, teaching children to love God and Others will not happen on its own. It takes fore-thought, purpose, and planning to cultivate the children I pray will  someday be God-loving, kind adults.