Category: Patterns of Homemaking

Methods that make life flow smoothly and efficiently.

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Keeping a Beautiful Table

As discussed in the article: Setting the Table: A Sacred Act of Love and Connection, setting a beautiful table for at least one meal a day has multiple benefits.

However, we are all busy. Each day is full and that requires us to have plans in place for getting a nourishing meal on the table each day, as well as making a beautiful table easy to set.

I have found that having certain tools in place, make table-setting a breeze for company as well as for our regular family dinner.

  1. Maintain a Beautiful Table Throughout the Day: Keeping a table with a centerpiece and linens is essential for creating a lovely setting for each meal. On our dining room table, I always have three large farmhouse-style candles. Additionally, I use a burlap table runner or placemats to add visual interest. Having consistent linens and a centerpiece ensures that our dining table looks sharp all day and remains inviting for every meal we share there.
  2. Tidy Up After Table Activities: Since we use all the tables in our home for homeschool lessons, sewing projects, and crafts, I make sure at least one table is clean for eating. I encourage my children to put away their materials when they’re done. After school, the books find their place, and completed projects are stored away.
  3. Adornments for Our Table: Our typical table decorations include candles, fabric, and flowers. Lighting candles during family meals creates a cozy atmosphere and encourages conversation. I also like to forage around the yard for foliage to adorn the table. Seasonal flowers, holly, or even cherry blossom branches (when our tree blooms) all add a touch of natural beauty. Fabric is essential for completing the table’s look—I’m content with hemp placemats, but a simple table runner or a more formal tablecloth works equally well.
  4. Cloth Napkins Are a Must: A decade ago, I switched to using cloth napkins. Not only do they elevate an ordinary table setting, but they also save money. We no longer need to buy paper napkins, which adds up over time. I can reuse cloth napkins for each meal, assigning the same one to each person’s spot.
  5. Tableware should match napkins the regular setting. While I initially loved stoneware, the wear and tear from our children led me to switch to a pretty Corelle set. The comfort of knowing that a dropped plate won’t chip or shatter is reassuring. Although I do have some fine china my husband gifted me, I reserve it for special occasions due to the hand-washing requirement. Overall, a quality set of tableware can be chosen to coordinate with table linens and accessories, completing the look for every meal without the need for separate dishes.

Having these things in place, makes setting a table for dinner each evening a breeze. The table invites people to sit around it at all times, whether to share a cup of coffee or tea or spread out and spend time studying the Bible.

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Setting the Table: A Sacred Act of Love and Connection

I am working on the teaching my children to value of a beautifully set table. In a day when efficiency is valued over being slow and still, a nicely set table is becoming a thing we reserve for special occasions. I consider sitting down to a beautifully set table an important value to instill in their lives.

The reasons for setting a beautiful table are many, but for me, it narrows to about seven different reasons.

1. Slowing Down in Our Busy Lives: In our modern, fast-paced lives, moments of stillness are rare. Sitting at a well-set table provides a deliberate pause—a chance to step away from the chaos and focus on nourishing both our bodies and our souls. It’s a reminder that life isn’t just about rushing from one task to another; it’s about savoring the simple pleasures.

2. Encouraging Lingering and Fellowship: A beautiful table is an invitation to connect with others, share stories, and truly be present. When we sit down with loved ones, the table becomes a space for laughter, heartfelt conversations, and the weaving of memories. Instead of rushing through a meal, we engage in conversation, share stories, and connect with those at the table with us.

3. Thoughtful Eating and Tasting: A nicely set table encourages us to slow down, chew thoughtfully, and appreciate the symphony of flavors in each dish. It’s a practice that nourishes not only our bodies but also our minds. We would probably eat less food, with more appreciation than grabbing something to chew on as we go, or eat while watching TV, not really tasting what is in our mouth or noticing when we have had enough.

4. Feeling Loved and Appreciated: When someone takes the time to set a table for us, it’s an act of care. It says, “You matter. Your presence matters.” Whether it’s a family member, friend, or host, this gesture creates a warm and welcoming environment.

5. Practicing Good Manners: Teaching children good table manners is a valuable life lesson. It’s about respect—for others, for the food, and for the shared experience. Simple acts like not talking with a full mouth or waiting your turn to speak demonstrate consideration for those around us. And those values can be best taught and practiced around a nicely set table, rather than in the car or flopped in front of the TV.

6. Preparation is a Sacred Time: As I chop vegetables or stir a pot, I am able to thank the Lord for His gracious provision for our family. Each step becomes an opportunity for prayer and gratitude.

  • Praying for Fellowship: Preparing a meal for someone goes beyond the physical act of cooking. As I cook, I often find myself praying for the upcoming fellowship around our table.
  • Blessing Each Spot: I like to pray for each person as I set the table. Even if it is just my own children, I can pray for their hearts and minds as I set their plate down.

7. A prepared table is a picture of eternity. We get so little of heaven here on earth, but sitting around a table once a day with those we love is one of those moments. Throughout Scripture, there are promises of a grand feast—a celebration of God’s redemption and restoration. Isaiah 25:6 beautifully describes this future banquet: “On this mountain the LORD Almighty will prepare a feast of rich food for all peoples, a banquet of aged wine—the best of meats and the finest of wines.” This eschatological feast represents the ultimate fulfillment of God’s plan. It’s a celebration of victory over death, the removal of sorrow, and the wiping away of tears (Isaiah 25:8; Revelation 19:6-9).

God’s preparation extends beyond physical tables and banquets. He prepares a place for us in eternity. Jesus assured His disciples in John 14:2-3: “In my Father’s house are many rooms. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, that where I am you may be also.”

God’s preparation encompasses both earthly and heavenly dimensions. As we anticipate the future feast in His kingdom, let us also emulate His love by preparing for others in our daily lives.

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Saying “no” to Weariness

We all need rest. Rest is a biblical concept. We are approaching our two week fall break for school, and I thought it would just be the children who needed a reprieve from school, but it turns out that I feel I have benefited the most from our little respite.

cute cat sleeping on cozy bed with book at home
Photo by Anete Lusina on Pexels.com

Rest is a powerful source of energy and renewal for our bodies and souls. As I have raised our four little souls, I have learned from experience the power of giving others time to rest and taking time to rest myself.

Most mothers easily recognize the signs of a tired child. Children rub their eyes, cry, seem easily agitated, and become altogether impossible to manage when they are tired. Little people have bodies that are constantly changing, growing and learning. With such busyness as a child possesses, much more essential is his or her need for rest.

Every mother easily recognized the signs of weariness in her children. A grumpy, exasperated, unmanageable, child can often be transformed through the power of a nap. Sometimes a child simply has too much stimulation like a long trips from home, being around lots of people, stepping out of his or her routine, or illness and simply needs a bit of quiet time, even if a nap doesn’t happen.

Just as ignoring the need for my own children’s rest has brought no peace to me or my child, so ignoring the symptoms of my own need for rest only allows my soul to build in its turmoil.

How often we can see the exhaustion in our children but fail to recognize the signs in our own lives. Or if we know we need a rest, we refuse to take that needed time to give ourselves space.

I would really like to explore the topic of rest. What it looks like when we don’t take time to rest, why we don’t allow ourselves to rest, what rest looks like, are important to discuss, but so is our need for applying what we know about our need for rest and building that space into our days.

Recognizing the need for rest:

I so often ignore the signs that my body needs a rest from something or from the daily grind of life.

  1. Being irritable or easily agitated are the first clues that I need rest. I haven’t changed much since my toddler days. If I am grumpy, a nap can do wonders for my attitude. If I am finding my emotions difficult to control, I need to recognize that I very well may need to stop and take a break from something or get a nap in my day.
  2. No Joy in the things that once brought joy. Some people may see lack of joy as depression. But lack of joy can be complete and utter exhaustion as well. So many care-givers, mothers, elderly folks, and those with ongoing illness need more rest in their particular season of life than they might have needed in the past. People who are in grief can also need extra rest. As can people who are in a life crisis. I have seen complete exhaustion swallow up many a merry heart.
  3. Physically tired and lack of energy. This is the obvious sign of tiredness that we all recognize. We simply feel tired. We know we are tired. Our head hurts, our body doesn’t want to move. We have trouble getting out out words.

Why we Don’t rest:

Ok, so we can recognize when we are tired. Many of us do not see a way to give ourselves a needed respite.

  1. Pride is often at the root of our ignoring of rest. We think we can power through and that we are strong enough to keep pressing on. We think if we take the time to rest, the world will come tumbling down around us. (Yes we are THAT important.) We think that we will fall behind if we take a break and what will other people say or think of us then?
  2. There is really no time to rest. This is an actual crisis. I am not going to try to find rest in days that have none. Or give hope to people who have no time to rest. Full-time care-givers and parents with babies, people pacing the floors with grief and turmoil in their souls, or those who have inescapable physical conditions that prevent sleep…like menopause. Sometimes rest simply cannot be had despite our best efforts to carve it into our lives. I cannot offer options where there are none, but I will say, Matthew 11:28 was written for those with greatly troubled hearts and in need of rest (all of us) as Jesus tells us: “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me; for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” Resting in Christ is our primary source of true rest whether we can take the time physically or not.

What rest looks like:

Restful activities bring the soul space to think. What gives me rest is different than what might bring my neighbor next door rest. I enjoy a cup of coffee with a friend, writing out my thoughts, a walk in the woods, a book by the fire, a canvas and paints, and sometimes quiet music and sleep. Rest is a wholesome activity that re-centers my heart and soul on its God given purpose. For another person rest means climbing a mountain and going camping, or running a marathon, cleaning windows, or spending a weekend alone.

Rest is worship. The activities I engage in during rest are not busy helps my heart focus on truth, God’s purpose for me, and worship. This is a very important thing to note. Anything that distracts me from spending my rest on reflection and focusing on Christ are not providing my soul with true rest. Spending time reading Scripture ought to be a large part of our restful moments. Sleep can also be a benefit, if I find I am tired and my weary body is preventing my soul from being able to rest.

I am going to take a moment to explain this a little more. Our minds are so full of input. It comes from things we watch and hear. Input is often by our own choice, but sometimes it is unasked. In any case, adding to that input with anything but what turns our hearts to Christ, is not providing our souls with true rest. If I binge watch Netflix during my time of rest, I have not rested. I have added to by already busy and overwhelmed mind more things to consider. Rest comes from Christ as we read in Matthew 11:28. Quiet is very helpful for us to help our souls find stillness in Christ. But, an edifying conversation with a friend can be of use. So can just being alone with the Lord and our thoughts while we are busy with our hands can be a good use of our rest. Journaling and writing can also help organize our thoughts. I have a friend who would randomly take a day off work to “do laundry.” What she meant by that, was that she would take a day off to sort her thoughts and bring them into the light of truth. Such thinking is essential. Rest is really giving ourselves time to self-counsel. Bringing our false thoughts to light and and reminding ourselves of truth won’t happen unless we take time to do it.

How to rest:

Plan the Time: One thing I have also learned, is that rest will not happen naturally…on its own. If I am given free time, it is used for fellowship, housework, phone calls, doctor appointments, and anything else that needs doing while I have the time. I do not believe that is unusual.

So, rest must be scheduled into our lives, just like everything else. And that time of rest must be guarded like a doctor appointment or visit to Grandpa’s for Christmas.

Daily Rest: When my children were small, I gave them a quiet time. When they turned five, they could graduate from that time, but until then, sleep or not, each child spent and hour and a half alone each afternoon. Children really need their own space, just like we adults do. Little one do not see their need for it, but I noticed my children were so much more calm, at peace, and easy to be with if they were given a regular space to play quietly alone each day. I had some children that always fell asleep and others who needed less sleep, but they all needed that personal space each day. I also found that time alone was essential for me too. Sometimes that quiet time it meant a nap for me. There were other times, I invited another lady (without young children) over for tea and we could visit in peace (something that never happens for most young moms), I also found time to read Scripture and pray or journal during those much needed moments of silence. I no longer have rest time each day, but I rise early. That is the space I have to create during this season of life to rest.

Seasonal Rest: We are just finishing our two weeks of fall break from school and I am finding that the break was much needed. I am remembering what it is like to just be “mom” to take non-school adventures with my children and to arrange play-dates with friends. I am remembering why we are home-schooling and the preciousness of my children. I am having time to write, read, and study Scripture. I feel refocused for our next term of school and am ready to jump back in with renewed focus and vigor. Sometimes taking a rest means an arranged break from an ongoing situation, like a job, a routine, or a ministry. These breaks are not “quitting.” They are patterned with every intention of re-focusing and getting back into it. These breaks are also not breaks from what God requires of us. We don’t take breaks from faithfully gathering with other believers and church, we don’t take breaks from loving others, we don’t take breaks from Bible reading and prayer (sadly, this is often the case during what we Americans call “vacation.”) we don’t take breaks from our marriage, we don’t take breaks from being wife, mom, or daughter. We only take breaks from the extra-obligations we are called to do.

Healing Rest: This is a very special kind of rest that follows life-changes, loss, trauma, or even a rest recommended by someone like a husband who sees the need of it in his wife. We tend to power through so often that we do not allow ourselves to Biblically process what has happened in our lives. We need to give ourselves time to grieve, time to adjust, time to think about changes in our lives in a Biblical way. If we do not, it is far too easy for lies from our heart or the world around us to take a foothold in our pain and cause us to loose faith. We need to give ourselves time to read the Bible, talk with a friend, see a counselor, journal, create music, walk and let our hearts naturally unwind and settle into Biblical truth.

May we all peruse the true rest as our Savior gently bids us: “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Mt. 11:28-30.

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Why Every Homemaker Should Have a Trade

person using a sewing machine

I love being a stay-at-home Mom, home-maker, home-school teacher, and have the flexibility to minister to those in church and in the neighborhood.

As one can imagine, the current escalation of the price of food and gas in particular has really put a crimp in our budget. But this is not the first time we have experienced stained finances. When we were fist married and as our children were really little, we lived paycheck to paycheck and found ourselves in a good bit of debt when a large, unexpected expense, like a new baby, popped into our lives.

It has been a blessing to my husband that I have had skills, that I can use to help our lives financially stabilize. As newlyweds, I worked outside the home in a sewing shop. Then, I got a job in an alterations shop and home-schooled four teen girls for a few years. After our children were born, I was able to transition to staying at home with my little ones and take in sewing or teach sewing lessons from home.

Having a skill I could use from the home, not only saved us money personally as I could do our own mending and alterations, as well as transition fabric and sheets into clothing and window treatments, but I could increase our income for needed seasons.

I find our lives once again in need of a little more income. Without leaving the home, I have a skill I can teach to others in my home, or, thanks to the internet, teach online! I cannot say enough for the woman who has at least one skill she can use to earn money.

I have no quarrel with a woman who works outside the home, full or part time, but for me, I value being home and it is my place of ministry. I strive to keep myself centered around the home and all I do is to the benefit of the home.

As we read about lady wisdom in Proverbs 31, work outside the home is very much a part of a wise woman’s life. In fact, the book of Proverbs is peppered with the value of gaining education and working hard. If there is more we can do, we have every liberty to do so.

My career is home-making. I take it very seriously and professionally. Whatever it takes for me to continue being home, I will pursue. Home is my calling and primary ministry. As I have described in Ministering through the Senses of the Home and Sharing Meals with Others, as well as many other posts in the past, I truly see the home as an amazing tool for the gospel and ministering to believers. I want to wield it faithfully, and am unable to do that if my pursuits are elsewhere.

With all of that noted, I am finding that having a skill or two I can use in the home and earn a little income from has been invaluable. I strongly encourage everyone, not just girls to learn a trade and refine a skill that one enjoys and that can be taught and used for income if ever needed.

For me, education and sewing have been very useful skills. This summer, I am opening my home to teach sewing lessons. The income will bless our family, but the skills I am passing on will be invaluable to others as well.

Thousands of other skills exist, photography, cake decorating, graphic design, ceramics, artistic painting, cosmetology, music, special needs tutoring, creative writing…well, in all honesty, with the invention of internet, almost anything can be done from the home!

That is great news for us home-makers who find our hearts desire is rooted in the ministry of the home. The point is that we take the time to learn and polish a skill we love doing. For it can be put into good use for such times as this.

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Motivating Children to Cook and Bake

Busy mother’s know how easy it is to do everything themselves and keep out the “help.” How many mother’s use their dinnertime prep to allow their children to sit in front of the television?

I think everyone should know how to cook. Cooking is a life skill that is essential to thriving. By learning to cook a healthy, balanced meal, a person can keep his or her body nourished. If one is prone to buy prepared food or restaurant food, cooking will save money as well. Many also find cooking to be a creative outlet and relieve the stresses of life.

Cooking is also an important for ministering tool. Food blesses people in a way little else can. When I was an undergrad taking a cooking an meal management class, a young man was in my class. He did not know a thing about cooking, but wanted to learn so he could help our his wife someday. I loved that sacrificial perspective. And think more people who find themselves uneasy in the kitchen, need to humble themselves and learn how to be more comfortable in the kitchen simply to enhance ministry opportunities.

I believe everyone is able to learn to cook. Cooking does not have to be of gourmet caliber. I am afraid the television has ruined our standards of what makes a fine meal. If one can learn to create a delicious plate of vegetables and meat, cooking has happened. In fact, simple meals are preferred by most of the population. People find such comfort it an unintimidating bowl of chicken and rice.

Baking is a little more complicated in my opinion because it involves a bit more chemistry than cooking, but baking is usually the preference of children’s kitchen activities. Children love to mix flours and powders. They love to sample the interesting ingredients. Children especially love to get messy, gooey, and sticky as they touch dough and powders.

So, as a busy mother, how am I inspiring my children to enjoy cooking and baking?

  1. Cultivate habits of keeping children close while working in the kitchen. Children need to know they have a place beside mother in the kitchen. They learn that as infants strapped to their mother’s chest while she works. Children learn to have a place in the kitchen while they hang on mother’s pant leg while she scurries to make supper. Children learn to have a place in the kitchen as they pull up a stool and stir ingredients into a bowl. The kitchen becomes connected to warmth, comfort, and home very quickly to a child who spends his or her time beside mother there, day after day.
  2. Allow time to include children in meal prep and baking. Kitchen work will move at a slower pace if children are involved. I confess it is not convenient to have children underfoot while I work in the kitchen, but the point in having children was not for convenience. If I allow a little extra time by starting dinner early or give myself grace to eat a little later, I can include the little dears into the cooking experience.
  3. Learn to cherish the messes made by little “helping” hands. If I embrace the blessing of flour on the floor, sticky fingers being licked, eggshells in the cookies, and splatters around the pot I find joy in my heart instead of frustration as I work alongside my little ones in the kitchen. It is all a matter of what I choose to see as beautiful in that moment.
  4. Let them enjoy have choices of what they bake and cook. All of my children have favorite foods. If I am making one of those particular things, I will often ask if they want to help me. For Thanksgiving, each child gets to make his or her favorite pie. For Christmas, I let the children choose a couple cookies to help me bake for our neighbors. As I am menu planning for the week or the month, I will often ask the children for meal ideas and they can help me cook the meals they choose.
  5. Be around to guide, but don’t micromanage. As my children get older, they are more and more independent in the kitchen. My older children can make lunch on days I have no time…scrambled eggs, noodles, sandwiches, and toast are a few easy lunch items they put together. I will never forget the blessing it was one morning a couple months ago to wake up to the smell of eggs toast, and hot coffee made independently, and unprompted by my three girls! Micromanaging my kitchen would make my children feel as though they have no place there. So, I am careful to say “yes” as often as possible to their kitchen endeavors. I wan them to feel that it is their kitchen too!
  6. Show cleanup is part of cooking. Cleanup is usually the least fun portion of cooking for both adults and children. I like to teach my children to clean as they go. It really helps not have a mountain of work after the food has been cooked. When they are very young, I help them out. I do not want the cleanup to discourage them from working in the kitchen. But as a child is more capable, I insist the cleanup be done by her. I so not want to cultivate habits of leaving messes for others, in the kitchen or anywhere else.
  7. Utilize, don’t stifle a child’s natural curiosity in the kitchen. Children have a natural interest in tastes, smells, and textures of what is found in the kitchen. I am not saying I want my children burying their hands in my container of flour, but I do my best to allow them to use their senses while they cook. To enjoy and learn, it is essential that they know the ingredients they are using, so yes, there is a lot of tasting, smelling, and touching going on as we cook!
  8. Create a kitchen environment for each child’s best experience. I enjoy listening to classical harp music while cooking, but I have a daughter who prefers stories, and a son who prefers toddler songs. I allow the child helping me to have his or her pick of listening material or conversation with mom while cooking or baking. I think it helps each child take ownership of the kitchen and have a sense of belonging while he or she works.
  9. Keep the cooking to one child at a time. I have mistakenly included too many children at once in my cooking work. Then I cannot remember if the baking powder was added in, or if both scoops of sugar were included… It messes things up a bit. Our kitchen is also a small one and there isn’t room for many people in it at once. We often take turns in our house, just to keep the food turning out alright. One child can help with vegetables for dinner and another prep meat for roasting. It can be divided up easily and in shifts. Oh the joy each child takes when “their” dish is enjoyed at dinner.
  10. Purpose to teach children to make age-appropriate dishes. When a child is at a certain maturity, he or she can be taught to use knives, turn on the stove, put cookies into the oven, and such. Only a mother will know when each of her children is ready to move on to the next step.

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Power of Affection in the Home

happy affectionate family

I stopped her as she crossed my path in the hallway, gave her a big hug, and “mommy loves you.” She stated “I love you too Mommy.” And then she skipped off on her way.

I have seen children skipping many times in my life. But the significance of a skipping child has recently riddled my thoughts. A skipping child is a happy child. A skipping child is a loved child. A skipping child has peace within.

How often a tender word, a simple hug, has brought on skipping feet. As my children have grown, the skipping has become less and less common, but I know the inner warmth felt by a moment of being seen and shown love lingers, because it is the same feeling I understand when my husband stops me in my path for a moment of affection.

Although most of us adults have completely outgrown the inspiration to skip in expression of our feelings, the feelings do not slip us by. When given consistent and faithful affirmation of being loved and noticed in our busy day, it balances our step in a very good way.

All that said to point out the value of taking a pause to show a moments affection to those in our lives throughout each day.

Consistent affection builds stability of the long term love we know others have for us. It confirms to me that , “yes” I am loved. “Yes” I am seen. We adults need it. Children need it. And children need to see it in their parent’s relationship as well. Relationship security and trust is built brick by brick through our faithful, daily treatment of each other.

How often I have been told to seize the moment as my children’s childhood slips through my fingers. Seizing the moment is a classic and admirable phrase, but backing up a bit more, moments cannot be seized without purpose and planning. We purpose to maintain health by building healthy eating habits over a period of time. We purpose to have a great harvest by spending a little time every day in the garden, watering, pruning, and pulling weeds. We cannot seize anything without a purpose to do so. Habits and plans must be formed for us to accomplish any goal.

  1. Build habits of affection into your life. Do not pass a loved one in the hall, especially a spouse, and let him by without a kiss. Greet each child in the morning with a snuggle, hug, or kiss. Take a moment longer on a busy morning to snuggle with your spouse in bed. Take a nap with a child on occasion. Read books to children while holding them, not while they are beside or across from you. Always kiss your children goodnight. Plenty more tips could be added and catered to each family, but I will stop at that.
  2. Prioritize the giving of affection. Do not ever withhold affection. If a child asks for a hug or leans into me in the middle of my work. I always pause (unless it is dangerous that they cannot be near me), and give that child a moment of my time. I do not ever push a child away or ever tell them I cannot hold them. If I must keep the child at a distance from me for safety reasons, I quickly snatch them up as soon as the dangerous work is done. I have had a little one sit and wait a good ten minutes for a hug from mommy. That shows you how valuable affection is for the soul.
  3. Keep the channels of affection open. So often little children do naughty things that make mommy or daddy cross. It is crucial that after a just punishment has been served that the child be embraced, forgiven, told he or she is loved, and the relationship restored completely. I feel very strongly about quick punishment and quick reconciliation. God does not withhold himself from us once punishment and forgiveness are given. I feel it is very wrong for me as a parent to withhold an affectionate relationship with my child as well.
  4. Learn to accept affection. I am a busy person, sometimes it is difficult for me to  value the importance of receiving affection from others when it is given to me. I might have my arms full of folded laundry and on a mission to deposit the load in the closet when my husband stops me for a bit of a snuggle. I want to finish my work before fully accepting the moment, but have learned that it is not only very important to give my husband the moment, but also that it is important for my own heart as well. I need to take in the love being offered to me and treasure it, far more than I need to be putting laundry on the shelf.
  5. Make plans for the sharing of time with others. I am currently taking my oldest daughter out every Saturday for a Bible study and coffee. She loves this time with her mommy. My husband will often plan take one of the chidlren out alone to go shopping, get lunch, or watch a movie. Even when my husband and I will get a sitter and go out alone together, that moment cannot be seized if it isn’t planned. We put affection on our calendar. We set aside time for it. We make arrangements for special times with those we love.

I understand that everyone is not inclined to show affection and love in the same ways, but as we each know what shows love to someone in our God given circle, we should certainly figure out ways that would show another person how loved they are to us. The outpouring of affection would be sporadic at best if we relied upon our emotions or given time. If affection is to truly portray the depth of love we feel for someone, then it must b purposed, planned, and given room to exist on a consistent basis. Affection is truly a beautiful way that we can show our deep love for each other on a daily basis and we are wise to lean into it as a sweet tool of showing love to those in our home.

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Cook One Day for the Month Experiment

As a result of needful mental and physical therapy for one of my daughter’s the start of the year, my school days increased in time by a couple hours. As a result, January dinners consisted of late meals, rotisserie chickens, occasional food delivery and semi-toxic packaged foods. It was expensive, unhealthy, and untimely, and I knew something had to change in the progressing months ahead.

Years ago, my mother got into once-a-month-cooking. We bought all our groceries, except produce and milk, for the entire month and planned a rough menu for the month. I remember helping my mom cook and freeze all that food. The idea of having all the meals prepped for each day sounded lovely….just pop it in the oven and bake. So, I began planning for the first round in February.

Honestly, I am still undecided on whether once a month cooking is going to be a long term effort or not. I just cooked up our monthly meals for March and so as I am heading into our second month of prepped food, I jotted down some thoughts on the subject so far.

Health: Stepping away from quick, store-bought meals is certainly a step in the healthy direction. As I prep the monthly menu, I am also able to incorporate a better balance and plan meals that use whole, real foods and pair easily with any veggies I have on the side. I can also prep meals to freeze that do no contain sugar or unhealthy carbs. So, I do feel there is an aspect about freezer cooking that gets the healthy planning and prep done and ready to go.

Quality: A drawback of freezer cooking is the loss of fresh. I can still roast a side of broccoli to go with the lemon pepper chicken or toss a salad to go with the Alfredo, so it isn’t that we do not eat anything fresh. However all the main dishes which are protein based are frozen. And there is no getting around the fact that once anything has been frozen its quality, flavor and nutrients do go down. So, I am mindful that there is a loss in the quality of the food I cook from the freezer.

On the flip-side, I do a lot of meat marinating. It was so successful last month, I doubled the marinades. Meat that has been marinated for a day is incredible, and the marinade helps break down the toughness of the meat. I rarely think long enough ahead to thaw chicken, marinate it, and then cooking it up. But, marinating fresh chicken and freezing it gets all that work done and the meat is ready to grill, fry, or bake. We noticed the long term marination in the freezer turns out excellent meat once cooked up.

Time: An absolute time saver, but not without a transition in how the time is spent. After cooking all the food for a month, my weekly grocery trip is cut down to grabbing a few gallons of milk and some produce. So, my shop time is definably less than if I went out weekly.

What takes the most time is planning the menu, I look at store sales the first of the month, figure what recipes I will make, then add needed items to my grocery list. I print out a list of all the recipes and ingredients I have purchased for a quick daily reference. The grocery shopping trip is a good morning too as I hop from store to store to gather the ingredients needed.

The longest day is the cooking day. Last month it took me an entire day to make all the food, but I did include lasagna and sweet and sour chicken on that month’s list which is a huge money and time bomb. This month, I was able to get all the prep done by noon. So, the type of meal I choose seems to make a big difference in the prep and cook time.

Expense: Here is where I am loosing. Since I only purchase meats on sale, I would buy chicken breasts at .99lb instead of 1.39. When I cook one time for the month, I must use the sales that are going the week leading up to my cook day. After that, I must ignore all other sales for the month because I simply have no money left in our grocery budget. So, either I restrict my menu to whatever is on sale, or I buy items that are not on sale to make the recipes I want. In order to make this work for me, I have been doing a little of both. So, the toll on the grocery budget is showing.

Stress: I must say, the trying to figure out what to cook and then making dinner late in the evening after a long day is stressful. It doesn’t help that the children tend to hang around and groan of their hungry tummies in the process. However, menu planning, grocery shopping, and cooking for a month is also a bit of a stress. The first weekend I attempted this monthly cooking experiment was very stress riddled, but I had a lot of unknowns going into it. The second time around was a huge improvement. So, I think long run, having a day set aside to cook is far easier on a busy momma than cramming dinner making into the end of a long day.

I did notice however, that our family did not eat all of the meals I prepped for last month, so some of those meals I am rolling over into this month. So, in a few more months, I may not notice the injury to the grocery budget as I continue to roll over meals.

Hospitality: I love having ready meals in the freezer! It makes me feel free to invite folks over without wondering what to make for them. We have plenty of options ready to go. I also can take a meal over to anyone in need at any time. It is set and ready for me to bake for them or for them to pop in their own oven. Having meals in the freezer is a huge asset to any home-maker, much more if there is a whole month of food in in the freezer.

Will I continue monthly cooking? For a while, yes. I am curious how our grocery budget will accommodate this new method of cooking, so if I find it unaffordable, I may alter my menu planning. But for now, it is a profitable experiment.

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Five Favorite Kitchen Appliances

Someone recently asked me what my favorite kitchen appliance was and for some reason, I drew a blank. I have a lot of favorites, but my kitchen is small, so I keep my appliances to the essential, multitasking ones. Which one do I like the best? hmmm…

I narrowed my choice down to five. I understand that different appliances would be chosen by different folks, but these are certainly ones that I use heavily, if not daily.

1.Top of my list: An emulsifying blender. I use this daily. I usually make a foamy Oolong and Macha tea blend for breakfast. If I choose an occasional cup of coffee instead, I can easily turn a cup into bulletproof coffee with the stick blender. This little machine also makes mayonnaise, lemon butter, hollandaise easily. It is great to cream a pot of soup on the stovetop too. If gravy gets lumps…walla…the blender will smooth it out! Dishwasher safe and easy to clean compared to the stand up blender and food processor. Yes-love it.

2. I choose my Keurig coffee maker second because it is an item I use several times a day. It can heat a cup of water in less than a minute for my morning tea, and makes a cup of coffee just as quick. If I am having a larger group over, I do use my teapot on the stove for water, but for small gatherings is is nice to have an easy way for guest to have tea of coffee. No one feels they are putting me to any trouble when I just push a button. I like that the Keurig is simple enough for my three year-old to make me a cup of coffee too!

3. My soda stream is another favorite kitchen appliance. My husband bought it for me one year with our income tax return. I am a huge fan of carbonation and find just a jug of carbonated H2O is far easier to enjoy than plain water. Just writing about it, makes me need to go get a tall glass of bubbly water! Be right back…. 

 a minute later and hydrated…. Yes, love the soda stream. I go through a canister a month which is about $15 a can once my empty can is returned. I think that is a lot cheaper and environmentally friendly than buying a steady stream of bottles and cans of pre-flavored and carbonated water. I tons make healthy drinks for myself and the children with this machine I mix natural extracts, stevia, and even natural food colorings to make incredible healthy drinks. My favorite is to make sparkling lemon/lime with fresh squeezed lemons and limes and stevia. Yes, I am a Soda Stream enthusiast. 

4.  I will go with my food processor for fourth. I lived without one of these until rather recently when my husband gave me one for Christmas a few years back. I now wonder why I didn’t have one much earlier than then.

Since I am careful with our grocery budget, that means everything I buy comes unprepared…blocks of cheese…whole veggies…unwashed…un-chopped…unprepped food is what I bring home from the grocery store. I can shred all my cheese in five minutes with the cheese shredder on this gadget. I can make zucchini noodles and freeze them. I can slice carrots, cucumber, and dice onions in seconds. For my sauerkraut marathon, a food processor is indispensable as I shred head after head of cabbage. I also use the food processor to make my own hand lotions and creams. Recently I have made batch after batch of salsa! Dump all the ingredients in and run and done!

5. This Kitchen Aid stand mixer was my Christmas gift from my husband our first year of marriage. At the time, I had absolutely no idea what I was getting. Once I learned to make my own whole wheat bread…well…let’s just say, I don’t mix anything by hand and I don’t knead bread by hand. Judge me if you will, but this machine does an incredible job with all those things. In fact, I am convinced that it is key in making the best chocolate chip cookies. And the time is saves me kneading bread….I just wouldn’t have time to make bread without it. I calculated that from start to finish of mixing and kneading three loaves…twelve minutes with my Kitchen Aid doing all the work. 

My five favorite appliances! I was amused to see how many my husband had given me. I don’t be-grudge getting appliances as gifts ever, considering the amount of time they have given me to be with my family and do other things. And well, I am a home-making nerd tools for the kitchen home are very much my niche.

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How to Make a Meal Bowl

I make a warm bowl of veggies and protein for about 90% of my breakfast or lunch meals. Honestly, each bowl is different and yet, every one I have made is delicious!

I often eat a hot bowl of food because it is easy for me to add a large quantity and variety of vegetables to my protein. It is also a lot faster to eat a bowl of cooked food than a salad. For a woman on the go lie me, time is important. Besides, if I am going to cook up a protein like eggs or meat, why not throw on veggies and cook them all together?

It occurred to me that there are basic principles I apply each time I make a bowl lunch and that information may be helpful to others who are trying to pack nutrients into their daily eating routine.

Basically, a meal bowl is a form of cooked salad, so if a person can make a salad with ingredients from the fridge, there is little thought in cooking up those ingredients with a few seasonings.

I do not plan what I am going to eat in each bowl I build. I open my fridge and decide what to do in the moment.

1. Choose a protein. It can be leftover cooked chicken or beef, eggs, uncooked meat, fish-raw or cooked, canned meat like tuna or sardines. Protein can also be found in nuts, cheese, peanuts, seeds, beans, or quinoa.

2. Once the protein is decided, pull out veggies that need to be used or will work well with that particular protein. I always keep a huge container of spinach in my fridge. It works with everything and is very nutrient rich. Okra, zucchini, cucumber, and tomatoes are also some of my favorite veggies to keep on hand. I also always keep garlic and onions, celery and carrots. I love peppers, but find they are not as versatile as many of the other vegetables due to their strong flavor. A lot of veggies are used in a bowl. I can pack 2-3 times the veggies in a bowl compared to fresh cut vegetables. For instance 3 handfuls of spinach melts down to half a cup of cooked spinach; a whole onion cooks down to a mild 1/4 cup of flavor. I can eat an entire cubed cucumber if it is sauted, vs. a few pieces chopped on a salad. So cut up entire vegetables for this dish.

3. Pick a fat to cook. The kind of fat should coincide with the flavor profile you feel like creating. For instance, if I am going to make an Asian bowl, I would choose sesame oil. For Italian or Greek…a strong olive oil would be appropriate. For beginners…a couple tablespoons of butter is easiest to blend and butter simply makes everything taste good!

4. The final step is to choose the seasonings. Garlic always ends up in my bowls, either in its fresh chopped state or dried and powdered. Again, choose seasonings that will create the flavor profile you are craving. For again, ginger, soy sauce, and garlic are great. For Mexican, cumin and red pepper with a bit of oregano work well. For an Italian flair use oregano, basil, parsley, and thyme with lots of garlic. For starters, garlic is sufficient. I like to toast fresh garlic in my butter to give it a nice crunch.

5. After the oil is heated cook up the protein if needed. If your protein is pre-cooked it can be tossed in just after the veggies are cooked. Nuts and seeds can be toasted at this point if desired. Once the proteins and nuts are cooked, they can be removed.

6. Cook up the vegetables in the same pan. More oil or butter can be added if it is needed. The vegetables should be cooked one layer at a time, starting with the vegetables that are the most firm like carrots and progressively added to the tenderest vegetables. Leafy vegetables like spinach should be tossed in last and cooked very briefly.

7. Dump the veggies and proteins together in a bowl and either layer them or mix them together. At this point any uncooked ingredients can be added like fresh avocado, fresh tomato, shredded Parmesan, olives, or toasted sesame seeds.

8. Vegetable bowls can also be layered with steamed brown rice or quinoa for a punch of a healthy grain. For breakfast, I will mix up my vegetable bowl and throw a fried egg on top. Easy and nutritious.

9. Don’t forget to add salt. I simply sprinkle it on after the food is cooked and before I plate it.

10. Have fun being creative and enjoy the healthy hot bowls of food you can churn out of your kitchen.

Check out some bowl recipes for inspiration too!

Scrambled Egg and Zuccini Bowl

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The Ministry of Touch in the Home

Photo by Linnea Herner on Pexels.com

Touch connects us to our surroundings. Touch is what makes everything real. Thomas, a disciple of Jesus refused to believe that Jesus was truly alive until he saw and touched his Master. “So the other disciples told him, ‘We have seen the Lord.’ But he said to them, ‘Unless I see in his hands the mark of the nails, and place my finger into the mark of the nails, and place my hand into his side, I will never believe'” John 20:25. So many things we hear about are far less real to us until we see and touch them. Touch is how we experience reality. We humans are strongly connected to the physical world through our sense of touch.

Have you ever sat on your foot and realized you have cut off the circulation to it? Although you can see it, it is very difficult to orient where your foot is in the world. Yes, it is still attached to your leg, but it feels unfamiliar and awkward. It nearly impossible to even to take a step until the nerves in the foot have recovered. It is times like those that we realize how important our sense of touch is! Without feeling, we cannot even connect to the floor.

Some people struggle more than others with where they are in relation to the world. And some people struggle more at different times in their lives.

People who struggle with connection to the world are many and it is good for us who minister with our homes to be aware of people who might be in extra need of tenderness as they are in our home.

Older folk are weaker in body and have slower reflexes, balance, and a nervous system that is often concentrated on bodily pain. For many older folks, connecting to surroundings is crucial to keep from stumbling. They also live in a sense of feeling misunderstood, and disconnected with others as their mental and physical states slows down. It is needful for us to have things for older folks to grab onto..handrails on steps, a bar by the toilet and in the shower (especially if we have long term or frequent elderly folks staying in our home). For short term older visitors, such accommodations may not be necessary, but we should be conscious of placement during seating. I have found a chair with two arms is often easier for an older person to get out of, rather than a plush sofa. So, we could kindly direct our frail guests to the safer furniture in the room if they should prefer it. When my aging parents come to visit, my Daddy often prefers sitting on the floor to a sofa, it is less painful on his back and easier to get up from. Sometimes, elderly folk need a firm mattress because they cannot get out of a bed where they sink in too far. It is good just to be mindful of the things our weaker friends and family may find helpful to grab or rest.

Other people who may struggle with bodily awareness in this world is anyone who struggles with a physical or mental condition. Nerves can simply be wired inside the body in a way that causes weakness, numbness, discomfort, dizziness, uncoordinated, and mental strain. Various nerve re-wires can occur in multitudes of ways, sometimes before birth, from an injury, disease, hormonal imbalances, medications, or even high amounts of stress. We should be sensitive toward those in our home who might need a little extra physical connection, or a little less physical connection. This isn’t always easy to know with new friends, but it is something we should learn about others quickly so we can adequately minister to their souls in our home as best as we are able.

All children struggle exponentially more than most adults with their connection to the world because a child is not only continually growing, but still developing bodily awareness. No wonder a child will stumble and fall countless times a day. As a keeper of the home, showing grace over accidents is invaluable. Milk spills, bowls break, and ankles twist when a person’s height increases an inch over a month’s time. It is also crucial that I reach out to these little souls who are still developing a spiritual awareness and wrap my arms around them. They need snuggles, kisses, and hugs to thrive in their lives and to feel not only my love poured out on them, but learn to connect better to God as they experience the unconditional, sacrificial love of another real human being holding them tight.

As a wife, making a point to reach out to my husband in touch is crucial. As a married couple, we are sharing the most amazing connection a human can have with another. We are one person. It is hard for either of us to feel like one beating heart, if our hands never hold each others hand. We married folk need to be physically close…we pass each other in the hall and connect with a kiss.  I have incredible power to minister and bless the soul of my husband by simply stroking his hair. He can calm my troubles soul with a long, understanding hug. Physical touch has a powerful way of binding souls together, and love language or not, touch is absolutely essential in marriage.

The sense of touch is essential to all humans. I believe people who did not grow up in a nurturing home, truly struggle all their lives with relationships. Relationships and people are not real because through childhood a person had little to no hands on connection with a person who loves them…no snuggles, no hugs and kisses, no pats on the back or brushing away of tears. No wonder relationships seem unreal… disconnected. Those who live alone may go for weeks, even months without ever connecting with another human through touch. I was told by a dear friend who ministers in nursing homes, that the elderly are particularly left untouched, and a hug means more to them than life itself. Those of us mothers who are surrounded by young children in constant need of affection can easily take for granted the connection we have to other people.

As part of developing a nurturing environment in the home for soul to find rest and joy in God, I find touch is crucial. Contact with other humans is not the only aspect of touch that should be considered. I noted a few ways I like to consider the affects the sense of touch might have in our home as I continually seek to use the home as a tool to minister to the soul and bring souls into a place of worship and deeper understanding of their loving Father.

Human Touch is probably the most important form of touch in our home. Why does a child in distress run to his Mama? Yes, a verbal consolation may take place, but what is really needed is a spot on Mama’s lap and Mama’s arms wrapped around his sobbing body. He needs touch to help heal his sad heart feel better, and he knows it. We don’t really try hard to connect with our children with snuggles, hugs, and kisses. It has always come very naturally for both myself and my husband. Honestly, I can’t stop kissing those sweet chubby cheeks! But I do notice that if I am having a busy day, I am less prone to try to reach out to my children’s emotional needs through a cuddle. It is hard for any mother to jump into affection when her mind is busy checking lists. So, I am certainly working on being aware of my children’s needs even when stress is high in our home.

A hug, a pat on the shoulder does so much to bring comfort to souls. A touch says, “I acknowledge you are real and what you are going through is real.” A touch says, “I see you.” A touch says, “I am here, I am a human with you.” A touch says, “you are not alone.” The power of human contact has been studied extensively. It is incredible the affect it has on the development of a new-born. Touching people brings people together in a way that nothing else can do. People need to connect with each other through the physical world of touch. Touch allows us Christians to open gentle pathways with other humans from this real physical world of senses, to the real world of eternity that cannot even be imagined.

When we have guests over we make a point to connect with them, a handshake for the guys and a shoulder hug for us women is a typical greeting in our culture. It welcomes our friends and makes them felt “seen” as well as provides that connection to them in our home. Without it, they might feel a little lost. There have been times I have missed that moment in our greeting and felt a discomfort as our guests try to feel out where there place is in our home. When there are large groups or several families gathering, it is easy to let greetings slide as people come and go and I get caught up in the kitchen or another conversation. This is an area I am still working on, but certainly I am trying to purpose to greet each guest…even each child (Little Who’s Are People Too) as they come in the doors of our home.
Creature affections are probably the next best thing to human affection. We have a sweet outdoor cat. I know many folks find their spirits are greatly soothed by simply petting a cat. A puppy will probably be in our future. Part of the reason for a dog in our home would be for touch. A good dog will invite touch and acknowledges others by showing unbiased affection through the sense of touch. Animals are great at soothing our souls and providing companionship and someone to talk to for those who live alone. Yes, they can be maintenance, but very often, it is worth the time and expense for the way a creature can be a blessing in the home. I have couple friends who have had a serious head injury. As a result, their doctor prescribed a pet to help relieve stress and help them recover. The main reason a doctor prescribes a therapy animal is touch. By coming into contact with another living creature, stress is relived and nerves are soothed. Touch is very grounding.

Heat and Cold should be set comfortably. I find as I grow older, my body temperature changes. Babies and elderly folks tend to need the house a little warmer than the average individual. When we have guests with very young or of grey hair, I make sure to add extra blankets to the bed, or at least point our guests to where they can get one. Keeping the house comfortable, not too hot or cold is helpful as we converse with others, it is one less distraction we and those we converse with have as we fellowship.

Warmth can also be a very sweet feature in the cold of winter. The warmth of a fireplace or a soft robe or blanket. Helping our friends and family members snuggle and find rest in tje warmth of the home can bring some treasured chats over cups of warm cocoa.

Cold, of course is welcomed in the heat of summer. Iced lemonade, a soft breeze through an open window, or ice-cream in a cone…I find offsetting the season with colder treats somehow brings balance.

Earth and nature are very important to touch. I love to see my children run barefoot through the grass. It seems so natural…real. There are studies on the subject of connection to the earth with our bodies. One of my favorite author’s, Charlotte Mason, notes that it is important for children to run and play outdoors as much as possible. Besides blossoming their imagination and love for learning, being outdoors helps children to develop coordination, strong bones and muscles, and learn where they are in relation to the world, simply by placing their feet on the ground for hours a day. . . or up a tree… Grounding brings confidence, peace, and ease. We need to touch earth, plant something, walk in bare-feet, picnic on the grass… I find touch essential to my soul. I personally need to take the time to connect with the rest of the creation God made. I need to take time to feel the wind blow across my face, the warm sun hit my back, the wet morning grass lick my feet, and mud ooze between my toes. A homemaker can garden, plant things, play with children in bar feet, picnic, and make time for enjoying the feel of all God made and sharing that with others. We grownups need to rejoice in the earth God made, just as much as a child does. It makes my heart fill with awe as though God Himself is reaching out and touching me through His Creation. 

Touch is the gospel. Touch is humanity. Touch is God coming to us in a human form. Touch is God healing our souls.