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Modern Homemaking in a World of Rising Prices

How I Feed My Family, Practice Hospitality, and Stay Within Budget—One Intentional Choice at a Time

Last week, I stood in the grocery store aisle, holding a pack of butter that had jumped a full dollar since the week before. I wasn’t just shocked—I was livid. Not because I can’t live without butter, but because price hikes like that feel like a direct attack on what I do every day: stay home, raise children, manage our household, and feed people well.

When I shop for groceries, my first thought isn’t “What do we need?”—it’s “Can we get by without this?” Grocery shopping used to be about planning meals and stocking up. Now it’s about trimming the fat, stretching every dollar, and constantly adjusting.

We do not have the ability to increase our grocery budget to accommodate rising prices. So now, we have to figure out how to continue living within our budget—even as groceries cost more and more each month.

Over time, I’ve developed what I call Modern Shopping Techniques—a blend of frugality, wisdom, and stewardship. These aren’t just strategies for saving money—they’re choices that reflect our values, priorities, and rhythms.

🛒 Modern Shopping Techniques

1. Pay Attention to Prices

I track prices mentally (and sometimes on paper) so I know when something is truly a deal. If it spikes, I wait or skip it.

2. Don’t Sacrifice Health for Cheap

Most processed foods are not only less healthy—they’re more expensive than real food.

  • For example, I can buy a box of instant oatmeal packets for about 20¢ an ounce, or I can buy plain oats for 5¢ an ounce and mix in my own sugar and cinnamon for a penny or two more—without all the additives I don’t want in my body.

  • Nutritious food can still be affordable, especially when bought in its simplest form.

3. Shop Around—Use Free Pick-Up

I rotate between Aldi, Walmart, and local markets. No single store has the best price on everything.

  • I never pay for pickup or delivery. That fee could be the cost of a pound of butter or two gallons of milk.

  • Many stores offer free grocery pickup, and using those services helps me stick to my list and budget.

  • Ordering online lets me total every purchase to the penny and avoid impulse buys. I especially love using Sam’s and Walmart online for this.

4. Buy in Bulk

I buy in bulk from Sam’s Club, Vitacost, and Azure Standard. When I visit family, I stop by a Mennonite grocery and stock up on flour, coconut oil, and oats by the case.

  • Bulk buying is much cheaper than purchasing packages individually.

  • Even for small families, dry goods last a long time in a cool pantry or freezer.

Items I regularly buy in bulk:

  • Prairie Gold 86 white whole wheat flour (or wheat berries to grind)

  • Jasmine and brown rice

  • Whole oats (I process them if I need them “instant”)

  • Coconut oil

  • Local raw honey

  • Canned organic peaches (Vitacost)

  • Canned wild salmon (Azure)

5. Use Meat Strategically—Stick to Poultry

I don’t buy red meat unless it’s a rare treat. Ground turkey is our staple: it’s lean, versatile, and just $3 a pound.

  • Pork is sometimes more affordable—when pork butt drops to 99¢/lb, I buy several.

  • Rotisserie chickens from Sam’s or Costco often cost less than raw birds.

  • I stock up on turkeys around Thanksgiving when they’re under 50¢/lb and freeze them for months of meals.

6. Don’t Bake Desserts

Dessert baking is expensive—eggs, butter, chocolate, and vanilla add up quickly.

  • We reserve baked goods for guests or special occasions.

  • Less sugar and fewer impulse bakes mean healthier habits and a lower grocery bill.

7. Do Bake Bread

I do bake bread—and it saves us a lot.

  • A good loaf costs $3–$5, and the cheap ones are full of sugar and additives.

  • I make whole wheat bread with just flour, water, yeast, salt, honey, and oil—simple, hearty, and affordable.

8. Serve Simple Sides

Not every meal needs a casserole.

  • I often serve applesauce or canned peaches alongside dinner.

  • A can of green beans, frozen corn, or raw carrots works just fine.

  • A handful of spinach or sliced cucumber makes an easy, fresh addition to a plate.

9. Use Frozen Foods Purposefully

I don’t rely heavily on frozen food, but I use it intentionally.

  • Frozen salmon lets us eat fish weekly at a lower cost.

  • Frozen ground turkey is a staple.

  • Frozen blueberries are cheaper than fresh and great in oatmeal or yogurt.

  • I keep a “something simple” freezer stash for emergencies—my husband or kids can heat it up when I’m sick or out.

10. Skip Prepared Meals Completely

I don’t buy frozen lasagna or boxed dinners—ever.

  • They’re expensive and rarely healthy.

  • A couple of times a year I might splurge on frozen meatballs, but usually, I make my own with ground turkey.

11.  Don’t Waste a Thing

  • If my kids don’t finish soup, I save it for the next night—just for our family.

  • If we eat half a casserole, I freeze the rest for another day.

  • Anything truly leftover goes to the chickens, which helps cut down on feed costs too.

12. Know When Foods Are in Season

Buying produce in season saves money and tastes better.

  • Strawberries in spring, watermelon in summer—never in December.

  • Bananas and pineapples are cheap year-round.

  • Apples are often lower in price from late summer through spring.
    Eating with the seasons just makes sense now.

13. Embrace the “Meal Rut”

We eat many of the same meals each month—and that’s not a bad thing.

  • Trying new recipes often means extra ingredients and added cost.

  • Familiar meals are faster, easier, and help me use what we already have.

14. Don’t Buy Snacks (at least, not most of them)

A $4 bag of chips adds nothing to my family’s health—and very little to their fullness.

  • Instead, I buy popcorn kernels and pop them on the stove—cheap and satisfying.

  • We get seaweed snacks from Sam’s (roasted in olive oil and MSG-free).

  • Fruit leather is a sweet, clean snack I feel good about offering.

I’m not totally against snacks:

  • Tortilla chips, pretzels, and graham crackers are more affordable than most.

  • Chips and salsa or guac are a great salty treat.

  • Dried dates and goji berries are sweet alternatives.

  • And yes, we enjoy ice cream from time to time—if it’s free of artificial additives and on BOGO sale!

16. Skip Buying Drinks

We don’t buy juice or soda unless we’re having company.

  • My children drink water or milk.

  • Sometimes we make homemade lemonade when lemons are on hand.

  • Frozen juice concentrates are cheaper than bottles, but still an occasional treat.

  • I love sparkling water, and it’s becoming easier and cheaper to find—I’ll choose it over any sweetened drink.

❤️ Final Thoughts

I don’t run a business—I run a home. But let’s not pretend that homemaking isn’t real work. I feel the weight of inflation every time I shop, and I carry the responsibility of feeding, caring, and giving from what we have.

And yet—by God’s grace—it’s still possible to nourish our families, practice hospitality, and live generously, even when the world seems determined to make that harder. Homemaking in this economy requires creativity, courage, and contentment.

Even if butter is up a dollar, I’ll keep choosing wisely, cooking intentionally, and trusting that the little things done in love are never wasted.

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When Suffering Speaks: A Reflection on Silence, Testimony, and the Cross

Oh, this is so hard. In our culture, not telling our hurts and pains to everyone is unheard of. Is it wrong to let people into our pain? Of course not. It is actually biblical to bear the burdens of other Christians. Many amazing books have been written by believers who endured beatings, persecution, health difficulties, and all kinds of loss for the sake of Christ.

Reading Tortured for Christ stirred something deeper in me—not just awe for those who suffered, but conviction about how we view and speak of our own pain today. I recently wrote a follow-up reflection about suffering, silence, and guarding the testimony of Christ in our age of self-expression. You can read it here: https://journeysofahomemaker.com/2024/02/20/the-book-and-testimony-of-richard-wumberland/

I’ve read many biographies and autobiographies of dear saints who suffered for Jesus. Foxe’s Book of Martyrs is filled with stories of saints who far exceed me in courage, endurance, and devotion.

But no other book has so pierced my heart in the way Tortured for Christ has—especially as I examine the influence of a self-absorbed, comfort-seeking culture on my own soul. I felt very small reading it. My troubles and sufferings seemed petty and insignificant by comparison.

Hebrews 11:38 describes those who suffer and are martyred as those “of whom the world was not worthy.”

We live in the age of sharing… everything. Very little is considered private. It is now seen as honorable to uncover secrets. And in many ways, it is seen as healthy for victims to publicly speak out against those who offended them.

In fact, today it seems as if everyone is a victim of something. And every person hungers for others to feel the pain that he or she carries. The term abuse no longer describes only physical or verbal torment, but now anything that brings offense or emotional pain. And in that sense, all of us have been “abused,” because no one lives without being hurt or wounded by another.

Now, to be very clear, there are true cases of mistreatment and grievous harm. There are real wounds and legitimate sorrows. I do not dismiss those realities. But for those who follow Christ, we must be prudent—in both our perspective and our public outcries.

If we must speak up to defend ourselves or others, we must be ever so careful that our motives are pure—that we are seeking to honor Christ, not ourselves. We must take great care not to harm or humiliate those who have hurt us, especially if they are fellow believers. If the one who hurt us is a brother or sister in Christ, we are called to do everything in our power to seek reconciliation and live in peace (Romans 12:18). If that proves impossible, then we must guard the testimony of Christ and remain silent.

We are not to take a fellow believer to court (1 Corinthians 6), and we certainly do harm to the Church and to the name of Christ when we air our grievances before unbelievers in a spirit of bitterness or retaliation. First, it is not their business. Second, it is no one’s business but the parties involved and the Lord.

But this does not mean we must never speak of our suffering. There is a time and place for testimony—especially when it is shared humbly, for the edification of the Church and the glory of Christ.

Both Richard Wurmbrand and Corrie ten Boom shared their stories publicly. But they did not do so to avenge themselves or destroy the reputations of others. Rather, they spoke to encourage the Body of Christ, to bear witness to the faithfulness of God, and to strengthen the Church in times of comfort and complacency.

The difference lies in the heart posture and the purpose of the telling. We must always examine our motives: Am I seeking Christ’s glory, or my own vindication? Am I helping others see Jesus more clearly, or simply asking them to feel my pain?

There is a Christ-honoring way to share even painful things. But it must always be wrapped in grace, humility, and the cross. And always, it must show respect—even toward those who have wronged us.

I have learned much about God’s sovereignty over the years. And there is such joy and comfort in knowing that every person and every circumstance in my life was hand-curated—before I was even born—by my loving Creator-Father. If He has allowed pain to come to me through others, I must receive it as a gift from His hand, meant for His good purpose.

That perspective reshapes my heart. It quiets bitterness. It calms the cry for justice. It even gives me compassion for those who hurt me. Because through it all, I can say: “My Father gave this to me. And I will trust Him.”

As we examine our own hearts and consider the wrongs done to us, we do well to see those wrongs in light of the cross. If they are truly wrongs, then they are wrongs ultimately done to Christ. And many of them are meant to be borne in silence and grace. This is the opposite of our culture, which insists on public vindication and justice.

We must remember: when we proclaim injustices done to us, we may only damage the testimony of Christ in us. It may serve no purpose but to elevate our personal image, rather than the image of our Savior.

Like John the Baptist said, “He must increase, and I must decrease” (John 3:30).

Oh, how our world cries for justice! We long to prevent those before or after us from suffering what we’ve suffered. But if any injustice is to be proclaimed in my life, let it be the injustice done to Him—as He bore my sin upon the cross.

Any pain we endure today pales in comparison to the tortures and losses our brothers and sisters have suffered through the ages. Richard Wurmbrand was an advocate for the suffering Church. In his book, he shares account after account of men and women who gave their all for Christ.

They were not fighting against communism—they were fighting for Christ. And because communism is diametrically opposed to the truth that Jesus is the Way, the Truth, and the Life, the communists sought to eliminate every believer. Christianity and communism cannot coexist.

Wurmbrand did at times detail his own suffering, and he did name a few of those who harmed him—as did Corrie ten Boom. But even as they recounted their pain, it was never to glorify themselves or shame their enemies—it was to glorify Christ.

If we must publicly speak of our pain, troubles, and those who have aided our brokenness, lest Let us, too, make it our aim to glorify Christ alone in both our suffering and our silence.

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Beyond the Price Tag: Ethical Choices in a Broken World

Every Purchase a Choice: A Christian Call to Justice in a World of Slave Labor

In 2012, I heard a story that haunted me: a clothing factory in Bangladesh caught fire, killing nearly seventy workers—many of them children. As a mother of little ones at the time, the news stopped me cold. How could this happen? How could children die so that others—like me—could wear cheap clothes?

That day, I began to ask hard questions. Questions I hadn’t asked before. Questions I think many of us still avoid.

We Are All Guilty

This isn’t about “those people” who don’t care. It’s about us. Me. You.

Whether we realize it or not, we have all supported unethical labor. Most of us have bought chocolate harvested by children, clothes sewn by underpaid women working 12-hour shifts, or phones assembled in factories tied to forced labor.

We may not have known—but that doesn’t make us innocent.

But here is the good news: while we are all guilty, we are also able, by God’s grace, to grow in awareness, compassion, and conviction. And we can strive to do better.

The Inconvenient Truth: Slave Labor Still Exists

Modern-day slavery is real. Over 40 million people around the world are trapped in forced labor, human trafficking, or child exploitation. And they’re making the things we buy every day:

  • Clothes from China, Bangladesh, and India

  • Electronics using cobalt mined by children in Congo

  • Chocolate from Ivory Coast

  • Shrimp and seafood from Thailand

  • Even coffee and tea from farms with documented abuse

And well-known companies have been linked to these abuses:

  • Shein, Nike, H&M, Zara (sweatshop conditions)

  • Apple, Samsung, Sony (tied to cobalt and Uyghur labor)

  • Nestlé, Hershey, Cargill (child labor in cocoa farms)

  • Amazon, Walmart, Costco (lack of supply chain oversight)

They may not do these things directly—but they profit from them indirectly.

What Does the Bible Say?

Scripture is clear: God hates oppression. He hears the cries of the exploited. And He commands His people to care about justice.

“Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves; ensure justice for those being crushed.”
—Proverbs 31:8 (NLT)

“Woe to him who builds his house by unrighteousness… who makes his neighbor serve him for nothing and does not give him his wages.”
—Jeremiah 22:13

“The wages you failed to pay the workers… are crying out against you.”
—James 5:4

“Is not this the fast that I choose: to loose the bonds of wickedness… and to let the oppressed go free?”
—Isaiah 58:6

To be a Christian is to stand with the lowly, not to benefit from their suffering.

Image Bearers of God—Every One

God made all people in His image—not just Americans, not just those who live in comfort, not just those with privilege. A little girl sewing buttons in a hot factory in India has the same worth before God as your daughter or mine. A boy digging for cobalt in Congo is no less precious than a child sitting in Sunday School.

To disregard the suffering of others because they are far away, poor, or hidden behind a price tag is to deny the Imago Dei in them—and in ourselves.

What Can We Do?

Let’s be honest. This is complicated. We won’t always get it right. Sometimes we need to buy a refrigerator, a phone, or school shoes—and we can’t afford the most ethical option. That’s real life.

But here’s what we can do:

✅ 1. Learn & Ask Questions

Start reading labels. Use websites like Good On You or Ethical Consumer. Ask, “Who made this?”

🧥 2. Avoid Fast Fashion

Steer away from brands known for churning out cheap, disposable clothing through unethical labor. Let’s not support companies that exploit people for profit.

🛍 3. Buy Less, Buy Better

Try buying fewer things—and choosing better-quality, ethically made items when you can. You don’t have to fill your cart with “deals” when you can fill your heart with conviction.

♻️ 4. Buy Secondhand

Thrift stores, consignment shops, or online platforms like Poshmark and ThredUp allow us to buy without fueling unethical production—and they’re often easier on the budget.

💡 5. Support Ethical Brands

Look for businesses committed to fair trade and ethical sourcing. Your dollars are votes for the kind of world you want.

🗣 6. Talk About It

Teach your children. Share with friends. Bring awareness to your church. Normalize caring about where things come from.

🙏 7. Pray

Pray for the oppressed. Pray for those trapped in cycles of poverty. Pray for your own heart to love justice more than bargains.

Grace and Conviction

This is not about guilt. It’s about grace-fueled conviction. Jesus died to redeem a people who would love like He loves. That means being willing to sacrifice our comfort, convenience, and even our shopping habits for the good of others.

“Whoever oppresses the poor shows contempt for their Maker, but whoever is kind to the needy honors God.”
—Proverbs 14:31

Scripture also reminds us:

“So whoever knows the right thing to do and fails to do it, for him it is sin.”
—James 4:17

God holds us responsible for what we know. In 1 Corinthians 8, Paul teaches that a person who unknowingly eats food sacrificed to idols is not guilty—but once aware, the believer must act for the sake of others and for the testimony of Christ.

When we do become aware of injustice—of the real people suffering behind our bargains—we are no longer innocent. We are responsible.

We may not be able to change the world—but we can change our corner of it. One purchase, one prayer, one choice at a time. Let it be said of us that we cared—not just about saving money, but about saving dignity, truth, and lives.

 

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Stewarding a Son: Man in Training

Man in Training

I will begin by saying that Scripture paints a very different picture of a godly man than what we see in our world today. As my husband and I seek to raise children for God’s glory, we are prayerfully looking for ways to develop in them a heart that loves others. Raising a man who protects others comes to the forefront of my mind.

All humans naturally seek their own safety, comfort, and well-being. And although both men and women in Scripture are called to love others selflessly, men are held to an even greater standard of such love—especially in their care, where no self-sacrifice is too much.

As Husbands:

“Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; that he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, that he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church.”
— Ephesians 5:25–29

“Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.”
— 1 Peter 3:7

As Fathers:

“Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.”
— Ephesians 6:4

As Men of the Church:

“Older men are to be sober-minded, dignified, self-controlled, sound in faith, in love, and in steadfastness.”
— Titus 2:2

“Likewise, urge the younger men to be self-controlled. (You, Titus) Show yourself in all respects to be a model of good works, and in your teaching show integrity, dignity, and sound speech that cannot be condemned, so that an opponent may be put to shame, having nothing evil to say about us.”
— Titus 2:6–8

We are privileged to have many of Paul’s epistles, which reveal how he mentored other men. An entire study could be built on Paul’s mentoring relationships with men like Timothy, Titus, John Mark, Luke, Silas, and Demas. From Paul’s letters, we can learn much about how a Christian man should lead his children, his family, other believers, and co-workers.

There are many qualities that make a good leader, but one key point is this: a man who is a good leader will seek the welfare of others.

A Knight in Training

I like to think of my son as a knight in training. In medieval times, a knight would follow a code of conduct. This list reflects the “Ten Commandments of the Code of Chivalry” recorded in The Song of Roland (a French epic poem from the 11th century):

  • Believe in God and follow His commandments

  • Defend the faith

  • Protect the weak and innocent

  • Show courage in the face of the enemy

  • Respect and honor women

  • Speak the truth

  • Be generous

  • Avoid pride and arrogance

  • Be faithful to your word

  • Die with honor if necessary

Though the knight’s code is ancient, it is no less applicable today. It upholds biblical attributes and provides a practical, holy testimony for the sake of Christ.

Even though my son is the youngest of his siblings, he is also the only boy. I purpose to keep him aware of his strength and how to use it for good and never for evil. I also work with him to be the man and do the hard things.

Being Practical: How We Train Our Son

  • Kill insects. He doesn’t like it, but my husband and I have taught him how to kill and dispose of unwanted insects in the house. My husband takes him along to help with things like killing snakes that raid our chicken coop, burying dead animals, or doing other big, ugly jobs. It makes a little boy feel grown-up and valuable to be part of man-sized responsibilities.

  • Carry things. Even though he is small, I often ask him to help carry a heavy bag or move something in the house. He’s a strong little boy, and he loves for his muscles to be appreciated—but more than that, it teaches him to use his strength for the good of others.

  • Open doors. Though it’s a fading code of chivalry, I’ve taught him to hold doors for others. He sees it as a privilege and an important task. It’s simply kindness—to women, the elderly, and those with full arms.

  • Be last. Often, the youngest is given preference, but because he is male, I’ve made it a privilege for him to let the girls go first—especially in food lines, but in other circumstances too. I started this when he was just old enough to understand he could wait “with the men.”

  • Be first. At times, a man must lead the way. I encourage him to step up when needed—like leading us through a crowd while holding my hand, or being the first to take initiative.

  • Stick with others. Little boys often want to run ahead. This has happened a few times over the years, but each time I remind him: “You can’t take care of Mommy or your sisters if you’re too far away.” That simple reminder straightens his shoulders and lifts his chin. He loves knowing he’s needed—and rarely strays again.

  • Help people. This comes naturally in our home, but I intentionally highlight it. If someone drops something, we pick it up. If someone falls, we ask if they’re okay and offer a hand. These are small but powerful habits of kindness and protection.

  • Stop. A key value in our home is that boys do not wrestle or play rough with girls. Beyond that, if someone says “stop,” whatever was happening stops immediately. Many young men have found themselves in deep trouble for not stopping when they were first asked. Teaching my son to stop—especially when a girl says so—is crucial for her safety and his own.

  • Take Daddy’s place when Daddy is gone. When my husband travels, I allow my son to fill in small but meaningful ways—sitting on the aisle next to me at church, helping me lock the doors at night. He rises to the occasion with more seriousness and maturity when he is given “man responsibilities.”

  • Spend time with Daddy. Little boys deeply need time with their daddies. When my son has been with his daddy, his demeanor changes—he’s more mature, more serious, and less babyish. Whether it’s a trip to the hardware store, a car wash, or grocery shopping, that time with Daddy is formative.

 

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Mothers for God’s Glory

My youngest is now no longer little, as he turns eight in a month, and my heart throbs as I think of the slow transformation that has taken hold of our lives. One by one, each child passes from one year to the next, and now, we are in the season of raising children in their teens. Naturally, one might ask if one season is more tedious than another, or if one point in child-rearing is more time-consuming than another.

I must confess, I am not the one to be asked such pertinent questions, and I am also not of the opinion that one period in a child’s life at home is more important or more time-consuming than another.

I am very much aware that each age of my children has its peculiarities and specific demands on a mother’s heart, and no season has more tests and vexations than another. How I paced the halls with a sick baby in my arms, waiting until the clock rolled around to opening hours at our pediatrician’s. How I have wondered at the depth of thought and the questions posed by my dear children who had just learned to talk. How I have contemplated decisions my husband and I had made—over and over—and their effects on our children, for better or for worse. Each year gives me less time to guide the small steps of my children as they venture closer and closer to maturity and a life of making their own decisions.

Every mother is no different, I am sure. These are common griefs and thoughts we share as time slips through our busy hands.

What I am compelled to share with each mother, no matter how well-intentioned or well-versed she may be, is comfort and grace as we pour ourselves into the precious souls of those young ones in our care.

Oh, I am not at all about to extend grace where none is due. No, we must accept our faults, seek counsel when we are uncertain, and ever live in humble need of our Savior’s wisdom. For stepping outside His guidance, I cannot extend grace.

Nor are we, as human—sinful, failing—beings, capable of extending grace to ourselves. First, we know we do not deserve it. And second, any grace we have is bestowed upon us first by our Creator.

So, no, we need not consider ourselves in need of “giving ourselves grace” or “forgiving ourselves.” No—our rest lies in nothing but the ever-existing, timeless sovereignty and providence of God. It is He who designed every moment of each day before we even stepped into this world. To think we, as mothers, have influence and power of our own is our greatest fault.

It is our perception that we have the power of good influence that causes us pain when we perceive our failures, and pride when we rejoice in our success. Our influence for good in the dear lives of our children is nothing but the kindness of God—in giving us life, in giving us children, in giving us fortitude, wisdom, and discernment as we strive to depend on Him for each word that comes from our mouths and each thought that soars through our heads. It is also God’s work in the hearts of our children to give them humility to heed advice and understanding of the truths from His Word.

If we are mothers, each child in our care has been placed there on purpose—by design—by God’s all-knowing hand. It is He who gives, and He who sustains. It is He who knows that our faults and sins will hinder us in our love and upbringing of the souls He created. I fail in my mothering when I fail to acknowledge it as the gift it truly is.

Psalm 127:3 so specifically states, “Lo, children are an heritage of the Lord: and the fruit of the womb is his reward.” Children come from the Lord, and they are a reward from Him. So often the gift of children is overstated to the point that we no longer see the sovereign hand of the Giver in that verse. It is by Him and for Him that I have children.

If we are mothers, we also fail when we view our role as the supreme role on earth. Many a Christian mother, yes, I have fallen party to this thought and have blown my role as “mother” out of proportion—to the point that it frightens me to think what might happen to my children if I should die.

We, as mothers, fail to rest completely in God’s precious and providential work in the lives of each of our children, as though we had supreme power of God’s work in the heart of our children.

How many a wandering young man has blessed his mother for praying for him. How many young, stray souls have thanked their mothers for their unrelenting faith. Rest assured, not one of those mothers would claim her own words, her own work, or her own desire brought her children to God. And it is a guarantee that any child who comes to Christ does not come because of his or her mother, but because of the gentle, persistent work of Christ.

I fail as a mother, when I rest in myself and my influence in my children’s lives. When I idolize the role of motherhood as a superpower, I neglect to humbly beg for God to work in my children’s hearts. It is for Him they were created and it is He who is at work in them…with or without me.

“And every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.
Therefore, my beloved, as you have always obeyed, so now, not only as in my presence but much more in my absence,
work out your own salvation with fear and trembling,
for it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure.” —Philippians 2:11–13

So my prayer is that humility will clothe my soul, and I will not rest in my thoughts, my methods of education, the boundaries and care I set up for my children, or the words I speak to them. But that I, in this temporary journey of motherhood, would commit everything to the Lord and His work. And that I would persistently and diligently beseech Him for the drawing and keeping of the dear little souls I love.

And in all, may He receive all the glory for the upbringing and care of my children.

“Not to us, O Lord, not to us, but to your name give glory,
for the sake of your steadfast love and your faithfulness!”
—Psalm 115:1

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Keeping a Beautiful Table

As discussed in the article: Setting the Table: A Sacred Act of Love and Connection, setting a beautiful table for at least one meal a day has multiple benefits.

However, we are all busy. Each day is full and that requires us to have plans in place for getting a nourishing meal on the table each day, as well as making a beautiful table easy to set.

I have found that having certain tools in place, make table-setting a breeze for company as well as for our regular family dinner.

  1. Maintain a Beautiful Table Throughout the Day: Keeping a table with a centerpiece and linens is essential for creating a lovely setting for each meal. On our dining room table, I always have three large farmhouse-style candles. Additionally, I use a burlap table runner or placemats to add visual interest. Having consistent linens and a centerpiece ensures that our dining table looks sharp all day and remains inviting for every meal we share there.
  2. Tidy Up After Table Activities: Since we use all the tables in our home for homeschool lessons, sewing projects, and crafts, I make sure at least one table is clean for eating. I encourage my children to put away their materials when they’re done. After school, the books find their place, and completed projects are stored away.
  3. Adornments for Our Table: Our typical table decorations include candles, fabric, and flowers. Lighting candles during family meals creates a cozy atmosphere and encourages conversation. I also like to forage around the yard for foliage to adorn the table. Seasonal flowers, holly, or even cherry blossom branches (when our tree blooms) all add a touch of natural beauty. Fabric is essential for completing the table’s look—I’m content with hemp placemats, but a simple table runner or a more formal tablecloth works equally well.
  4. Cloth Napkins Are a Must: A decade ago, I switched to using cloth napkins. Not only do they elevate an ordinary table setting, but they also save money. We no longer need to buy paper napkins, which adds up over time. I can reuse cloth napkins for each meal, assigning the same one to each person’s spot.
  5. Tableware should match napkins the regular setting. While I initially loved stoneware, the wear and tear from our children led me to switch to a pretty Corelle set. The comfort of knowing that a dropped plate won’t chip or shatter is reassuring. Although I do have some fine china my husband gifted me, I reserve it for special occasions due to the hand-washing requirement. Overall, a quality set of tableware can be chosen to coordinate with table linens and accessories, completing the look for every meal without the need for separate dishes.

Having these things in place, makes setting a table for dinner each evening a breeze. The table invites people to sit around it at all times, whether to share a cup of coffee or tea or spread out and spend time studying the Bible.

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Setting the Table: A Sacred Act of Love and Connection

I am working on the teaching my children to value of a beautifully set table. In a day when efficiency is valued over being slow and still, a nicely set table is becoming a thing we reserve for special occasions. I consider sitting down to a beautifully set table an important value to instill in their lives.

The reasons for setting a beautiful table are many, but for me, it narrows to about seven different reasons.

1. Slowing Down in Our Busy Lives: In our modern, fast-paced lives, moments of stillness are rare. Sitting at a well-set table provides a deliberate pause—a chance to step away from the chaos and focus on nourishing both our bodies and our souls. It’s a reminder that life isn’t just about rushing from one task to another; it’s about savoring the simple pleasures.

2. Encouraging Lingering and Fellowship: A beautiful table is an invitation to connect with others, share stories, and truly be present. When we sit down with loved ones, the table becomes a space for laughter, heartfelt conversations, and the weaving of memories. Instead of rushing through a meal, we engage in conversation, share stories, and connect with those at the table with us.

3. Thoughtful Eating and Tasting: A nicely set table encourages us to slow down, chew thoughtfully, and appreciate the symphony of flavors in each dish. It’s a practice that nourishes not only our bodies but also our minds. We would probably eat less food, with more appreciation than grabbing something to chew on as we go, or eat while watching TV, not really tasting what is in our mouth or noticing when we have had enough.

4. Feeling Loved and Appreciated: When someone takes the time to set a table for us, it’s an act of care. It says, “You matter. Your presence matters.” Whether it’s a family member, friend, or host, this gesture creates a warm and welcoming environment.

5. Practicing Good Manners: Teaching children good table manners is a valuable life lesson. It’s about respect—for others, for the food, and for the shared experience. Simple acts like not talking with a full mouth or waiting your turn to speak demonstrate consideration for those around us. And those values can be best taught and practiced around a nicely set table, rather than in the car or flopped in front of the TV.

6. Preparation is a Sacred Time: As I chop vegetables or stir a pot, I am able to thank the Lord for His gracious provision for our family. Each step becomes an opportunity for prayer and gratitude.

  • Praying for Fellowship: Preparing a meal for someone goes beyond the physical act of cooking. As I cook, I often find myself praying for the upcoming fellowship around our table.
  • Blessing Each Spot: I like to pray for each person as I set the table. Even if it is just my own children, I can pray for their hearts and minds as I set their plate down.

7. A prepared table is a picture of eternity. We get so little of heaven here on earth, but sitting around a table once a day with those we love is one of those moments. Throughout Scripture, there are promises of a grand feast—a celebration of God’s redemption and restoration. Isaiah 25:6 beautifully describes this future banquet: “On this mountain the LORD Almighty will prepare a feast of rich food for all peoples, a banquet of aged wine—the best of meats and the finest of wines.” This eschatological feast represents the ultimate fulfillment of God’s plan. It’s a celebration of victory over death, the removal of sorrow, and the wiping away of tears (Isaiah 25:8; Revelation 19:6-9).

God’s preparation extends beyond physical tables and banquets. He prepares a place for us in eternity. Jesus assured His disciples in John 14:2-3: “In my Father’s house are many rooms. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, that where I am you may be also.”

God’s preparation encompasses both earthly and heavenly dimensions. As we anticipate the future feast in His kingdom, let us also emulate His love by preparing for others in our daily lives.

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She Laughs at The Time to Come

As December 1999 unfolded,  I was a sophomore college student. Y2K bug loomed, and many people, including my family, were preparing for the worst.

Even though I planned to return to college in the spring, I packed every bit of everything that I owned from my dorm room. Just in case the theory was right, and the world turned up-side-down in a few more weeks, I would not have to worry about anything left behind at college.

I stayed up until midnight with my siblings as the new year rolled over. My parents, seasoned by life’s uncertainties, had stocked up on wheat berries, frozen foods, and heirloom seeds. Their pantry sagged under the weight of preparedness. We were not alone; thousands shared our concern, hoarding canned goods and bottled water, bracing for the impending collapse of infrastructure.

By God’s grace, life went on. I graduated from college, married, and became a mother.

Then we hit 2012. As a young mother, I fretted about the Mayan calendar. Would the ancient prophecies come true? But the clock struck midnight, and once again, God’s grace provided humanity with more time.

In 2014, another wave of foreboding washed over us. Changes, doom, cataclysms—the headlines screamed. Yet by God’s grace the earth continued to spin and I continued to breathe.

It was at this time in my life, that my relationship with fear of the world’s future came to a sudden and permanent halt.

Isaiah 8:12-13, was shared to me by a dear older friend, on evening as I spilled out my fears to her.  In that passage, Isaiah tells God’s people

“Do not call conspiracy everything this people calls a conspiracy; do not fear what they fear, and do not dread it. But the LORD of hosts, him you shall honor as holy. Let him be your fear, and let him be your dread.”

Fear of the future is not a biblical fear. To see that my fears were not only unfounded, but misplaced was a great gift to my soul.

Conspiracy theorists are all over the internet now. Last week, as I read about the upcoming solar eclipse, my browser filled up very quickly with scared people, scaring other people about various conspiracies and theories of destruction of the world. And what once might have swallowed me in is something that now gives me no concern. I laughed. 

In Proverbs 31, we read about the embodiment of wisdom in the image of Lady Wisdom. In that passage, Lady Wisdom is said to “laugh at the future.” Why? because her hope is anchored in something beyond a ticking clock.

Gifted wisdom, bestowed by the Divine,
She laughs at the future, her heart aligned.
In a world of whispers, secrets, and schemes,
Her heart remains steadfast, like sun’s golden beams.

Conspiracies may swirl, shadows may creep,
Yet Lady Wisdom’s laughter runs deep.
Her hope is anchored in truth’s embrace,
A refuge of faith, a sanctuary of grace.

She knows that beyond the veil of time,
God weaves purpose into each rhyme.
In His hands, the universe dances and sings,
And Lady Wisdom laughs, her spirit takes wings.

For in God’s wisdom, she finds her delight,
A beacon of truth in the darkest night.
Her laughter echoes through eternity’s span,
A symphony of trust, a celestial plan.

So when Lady Wisdom laughs, it is not in jest,
But a hymn of praise, a soul’s sweet rest.
Her soul sure, her hope anchored in God,
Untroubled by the world’s chaos, forever in tune.

Seeing God in His complete rulership over all that is known and unknown is a great comfort to those who follow Him. I have nothing to fear.

Will the world end? Yes. But my soul is secure. If the world ends, my hope in God is safe.

Will I see troubling times? Yes. I am told in Scripture, that suffering lies ahead for the world, my family, and myself. But my soul is secure. My mission unchanged, no matter what changes the world undergoes.

Does the state of the world grieve me? Oh my yes! I do grieve deeply about the pain and brokenness sin has caused. But in that grief I do not fear.

Only those who do not hope in God need fear the future. Conspiracies, theories, planning for a world catastrophe, have no place in the Christians thought or life. It only defames our testimony of Christ when we as believers wrap ourselves up in fear of impending doom.

May our hearts, like Lady Wisdom, smile at what we do not know. Let us rest in God, not in circumstances. Let us walk steadfast and undistracted from our purpose in sharing the good news with those around us. As we lay down our lives daily, souls once and forever safe in His tender, eternal care.

 

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Reading Jane Austen with Daughters

I didn’t read any of Jane Austen’s books until after I had graduated from college. However, when I delved into “Pride and Prejudice” for the first time, Jane’s writing captured my heart. Much like L.M. Montgomery’s “Anne of Green Gables,” I found Jane’s characters relatable and familiar.

What struck me most was that Jane’s characters weren’t stagnant. They evolved, much like real humans do. Emma, Elizabeth Bennet, and Elinor Dashwood all matured emotionally as I turned the pages.

Jane’s novels primarily revolve around conversations—layer upon layer of dialogue—with very little action. As I read, I felt like a fly on the wall, observing every person in the story and hearing their deepest thoughts.

As my daughters grew, I knew I wanted to introduce them to the beautiful and timeless writing of Jane Austen. There are multiple reasons I wanted my girls to be introduced to the books by Miss Austin, but overall, I feel strongly that the characters in her novels will help my daughters thinking and verbal skills, as well as impact their perspective on romance and marriage.

I want my girls to to see the failures and shortcomings of others, and the way a person develops over time. Sometimes a child does not see this change in herself or others because a child has not had a long time to observe. It gives hope for my daughter to know that what she struggles with whether prejudice, pride, a poor economic situation,  or a quick tongue can be overcome and altered with time. What we see in a person now, has not always been who that person was. Nor what a person is today, is what that person will always be.

Jane Austen excels at portraying disagreements among characters. In today’s world, however, there seems to be little tolerance or understanding for differing opinions. Rather than engaging in verbal disagreements, many people simply avoid certain conversations or topics altogether. Fear of expressing their true thoughts on a matter is common, and sensible discourse on various subjects is increasingly rare.

In Jane’s books, we encounter intense disagreements, such as the one between Emma and Mr. Knightley regarding Emma’s friend, Harriet Smith. Similarly, the rift between Elizabeth Bennet and Mr. Darcy in “Pride and Prejudice” provides valuable insights. Reading about these characters allows us to appreciate their ability to express their views graciously, stand up for their beliefs, and engage in sensible arguments that help readers understand both sides.

Another aspect Jane Austen masterfully portrays is the art of confession. Her characters often make significant mistakes, but by the end of the story, they acknowledge their wrongdoings. Whether through heartfelt letters or face-to-face conversations, issues are addressed, resolved, and settled. This willingness to confront problems head-on is a rare gem in our modern culture of self-importance and image-consciousness.

We desperately need this approach in our world—within marriages, churches, and friendships. Too often, important matters go unaddressed because we lack the know-how. Jane Austen’s works teach us how to navigate conflicts, live with our differences, and humbly admit when we are wrong, ultimately altering our course for the better.

Jane Austen gives words to my daughters. Her vocabulary is rich, but beyond the remarkable words she employs in her books, lies her skill in weaving those words together during conversations. Through these dialogues, she crafts arguments, perspectives, and evokes emotions—pain, regret, and depths of feeling.

Often, individuals grapple with unexpressed thoughts and emotions. Jane Austen’s novels serve as a bridge, enabling my daughters to articulate those innermost sentiments. By reading her works, they learn to give voice to their feelings and put their thoughts into words.

Reading Jane Austen’s novels sets a high standard for my daughters’ expectations of a good husband. While true gentlemen may be rare, they do still exist—I happen to be married to one. I want my daughters to recognize the qualities of a good man: how he treats a lady with protection, kindness, and grace.

The gentlemen in Jane Austen’s novels are diverse and imperfect, each with their own unique traits. What unites them is their kindness. They are not the stereotypical macho figures, flexing muscles and boasting. Instead, they exhibit selflessness, standing up for what is right and treating others with respect. Even during moments of disagreement with a lady, they maintain composure and avoid brashness or loss of self-control. These men exemplify true gentleness, a trait I hope my daughters seek in their future spouses.

In a world where fairy tales often depict a kiss as the magical key to love, Jane Austen offers a different perspective. In her novels, love is multifaceted:

  • Honesty: Love involves openness and truthfulness.
  • Forgiveness: It requires the ability to let go of past mistakes and hurts.
  • Disagreement: Love doesn’t shy away from differences but navigates them with grace.
  • Selflessness: It prioritizes the well-being of the other person.
  • Patience: Love waits, endures, and perseveres.
  • Silence: Sometimes love speaks softly or remains unspoken.
  • Timing: Love understands the right moment for commitment.
  • Guidance: It leads and supports.
  • Learning: Love grows through understanding and shared experiences.
  • Perseverance: It doesn’t give up easily.
  • Moving On: Love allows healing and growth after heartbreak.
  • Fighting for Love: Like Mr. Darcy, love is worth the struggle.
  • Endurance: It withstands challenges and stands the test of time.

Jane Austen’s characters exemplify these facets of love. Their journeys reveal that love isn’t instantaneous; it’s a gradual process. It’s not just about fleeting feelings, but about building something lasting. So, let us teach our children to see romance as a lifelong, sometimes painful, yet faithful journey—a journey where love is more than mere appearances or fleeting moments, but a commitment to endure and cherish.

I want to read Jane Austen’s books with each of my daughters, rather than simply giving them the books to read on their own. Recently, reading “Emma” to my oldest daughter sparked numerous interesting and necessary conversations. We’ve delved into the cultural context of that time, explored the differing perspectives on marriage then and now, and discussed the development of various characters.

Most importantly, Jane Austen’s works have brought my daughter and me closer together. As we share in the hopes and disappointments of each character, we are able to engage in many heartfelt discussions about each character’s actions and words.

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Close Your Ears- A Lesson in Discretion

“Close your ears,” my mother would say, signaling all of us at the dinner table that we had just overheard something not yet meant for our ears. Usually, it was a snippet of conversation between her and Dad, something exciting or intriguing. But occasionally, it was information accidentally revealed during casual talk.

As a child, I held the unofficial title of the world’s most curious snoop. Whenever my parents retreated to their room for a private conversation, I’d press my ear against the door, eager to catch every word. My parents, while amused by my inquisitiveness, recognized it as a flaw that needed correction.

My mother spent years teaching me discretion—to mind my own business and respect others’ privacy. No more eavesdropping on her phone calls or prying into who had called. “Listening in” was neither cute nor acceptable behavior. They assured me that if something truly essential arose, they’d share it with me in due time.

By their example, my parents instilled in me the art of avoiding gossip. They taught me that the listener is as guilty as the teller. I witnessed my mother gracefully halt a friend mid-conversation, saying, “Please, no more. I don’t need to hear that.” She’d then steer the discussion away from sharing someone else’s shortcomings.

Today, my curiosity remains intact, but my upbringing guides me. I’ve advised friends not to divulge unnecessary details or names. Sometimes, all I need to pray for a situation is minimal information. I shared in a recent post, Love Covers about the importance of knowing what things to share and what there are private; knowing who to tell things to is also invaluable for children to lean.

Gossip and slander—two words that often slip into our conversations unnoticed. Gossip is one person telling unconfirmed information to other people. and Slander is saying bad things about another person. Both gossip and slander are unnecessary, unloving, and harmful. Both gossip and slander involve a teller and a hearer.

I have learned that a lot of hurt and pain could be completely avoided if people could discern not only when shut their mouths, but their ears too.

As hearers, we bear a responsibility when it comes to the information we receive. When someone shares potentially harmful details about another person, we must quickly discern whether or not we need to engage in that conversation.

When to Listen:

Responsibility to Help:

When counseling someone or discipling a child, the information they share becomes crucial. It equips me as a guide to know where issues are and how to best help those in my care overcome their difficulties with others.

If I am personally involved:

Sometimes I need to be informed about things that concern me because they relate either to me or to a situation that pertains to me. In such cases, actively listening to information, discerning truth from falsehood, and avoiding assumptions about unknown details can be insightful in seeking the truth of a personal situation.

When to close your ears:

Unnecessary Details:

If we’re not directly involved or responsible, we’re not doing anyone a favor by hearing things that should remain private.

Avoiding Harm:

Gossip and slander can inflict wounds. By choosing not to listen we guar our hearts and minds from negative thoughts and feelings about others, as well as untruths that might be told us by someone who does not have all the facts or is so personally involved only one perspective seems right.

We don’t hear much about the sin of gossip in our culture. I think it has hidden in a variety of names…. confiding, seeking justice, prayer request, preventing further harm to others… Gossip doesn’t always name names, or even seek to damage as it strives to be heard and seen.

The Hidden Faces of Gossip:

Our culture often disguises gossip under various names:

  • Confiding: If my friend is telling me her negative opinions about someone else, chances are, she or he cannot be trusted with my confidence either. As person who shares too much has a problem of sharing too much, no-one is safe in their mouth.
  • Seeking Justice: Some people consider it good justice/revenge to ruin another person’s reputation, by sharing that persons secrets in public. If the right courses put in place by God do not serve justice, as Christians, we have no choice but to leave the matter in God’s hands. We should never attempt to resolve those matters on our own.
  • Prayer Requests: Sometimes, we use prayer as a cover for gossip. By asking someone to pray for a situation, we sometimes share more than should be said or hear more than should be heard.
  • Preventing Further Harm: We convince ourselves that sharing information serves a noble purpose; that may sometimes be true, but in general that is a cover-up reason for those who are dealing with deep hurt and seeking personal healing by sharing their story.

People who are godless are described in Romans 1:29-31 as: “filled with every kind of wickedness, evil, greed and depravity. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit and malice. They are gossips, 30 slanderers, God-haters, insolent, arrogant and boastful; they invent ways of doing evil; they disobey their parents; 31 they have no understanding, no fidelity, no love, no mercy. “

II Corinthians 12:20 also describes artificial believers as: “there may be discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, slander, gossip, arrogance and disorder.”

We, as believers  to guard our mouths and ears with great diligence. If there is a question that we ae saying or hearing something that could be gossip or slander, it is best not to say a word. And if we are uncertain if what we are being told is completely true, helpful, or kind…it is best to find something else to talk about, or as my mother would say, “Close your ears.”